Feeling alone and lost

[Moo68]

I have never done this before. But I figured there is not much to lose.

I am originally from the U.K, I moved to Australia at 18 which was nearly four years ago. I arrived with my partner and family. Since then, I have had numerous jobs and graduated university. However, I recently got fired from my last job with no warning or explanation. The last eight weeks have been extremely difficult to find a job and maintain my mental health. With years of experience and a degree I still cannot get a minimum paid job and I genuinely feel vulnerable, and a burden. I have no friends in Australia and only my partner which makes myself literally alone for 10 hours a day, 6 days a week.

I have always been a nervous person, but in times like this I really lack the motivation to even get out of the house.

I absolutely love Australia, and the opportunities it has given me, and my partner for his support. Right now though, I honestly feel invisible.

Thank you ❤️

[Croix]

Dear Moo6/8~

Thinking of coming here to the Forum I suspect is an indication of who you are. In your roughly 24 years you have faced some pretty big challenges and they have turned out pretty well. Moving to the other side of the world is just one. I came out in my very early teens, and it was a strange world in a lot of ways. Leaving people behind was hard too, so I've a little understanding of what you faced.

Graduating from uni is a major step, and involves long-term application as well as ability. Having a partner to be with, support and rely on is a wonderful thing.

Now unfortunately you are on the job seeking circuit, which would frankly get anyone down, a time of putting yourself out there time after time, often with little or no response. Pretty soul-destroying, as well of course the lack of wages 'pinches' one's life.

I guess there are a couple of things to bear in mind. You last job ended for any one of a hundred reasons, and I'd be pretty certain that had nothing to do with you. Any reasonable employer would at least give some sort of warning if an employee was failing to make the grade, and as there was no warning the employer is not one of the decent ones, and not constrained by good practice.

You have had jobs before, so you know you are capable of performing as needed.

Entry level jobs are not the only ones you should be applying for, as a graduate you may fine unexpected opportunities in better jobs.

While waiting have you considered volunteering? I know you mentioned difficulties getting out of the house. Is there anything oyu might enjoy -animals perhaps, or older people? Volunteering looks good on a CV, is a source of potential references, and sometimes leads to employment, you never know. Can be fun.

For the anxiety, do you mind if I ask if you are under treatment? My anxiety condition simply got worse until I had competent medical support. In time with the care of my partner I improved.

Lastly I'd suggest you try to divide your time each day, a part dealing with job-seeking, and a larger part devoted to everything else, with a clear line between the two. Maybe papers for applications etc in just one room or cabinet, the rest of your life everywhere else. The idea being to be able to retreat from the pressure and worry into a more comfortable part of life. Use anything you enjoy as a distraction, to take your mind off the hassles.

I use exercise, movies, books, pets, and of course my partner.

I hope you come back and talk more

Croix

[PamelaR]

Hello Moo6/8

Welcome to Australia and to Beyond Blue Forums where you find very supportive and caring people who'll give you their experience.

Especially good that you made it here when you've never done anything like this before - you've made a start and that is great.

Going to uni and graduating as well as working is really hard work. You've achieved a lot in your short time here! You say you're here with your partner and his family, which leads me to believe your family is still back in the UK. So I'd imagine after 4 years, having lost your job, you may want your own family. However, this may not be the case at all.

Losing a job is difficult, especially when they don't give you any feedback about why they terminated your employment. Is there any possibility of asking for feedback or would you rather not do that. Sometimes it helps to know. Because in part your current feelings are based on what 'you think the reason is'.

From my own experience, I'm very critical of me and from what I read on Beyond Blue (BB) so are many others. The things you think may be the reason may not be those reasons at all. So trying to get feedback might be a way to go. Although I can understand if you'd rather not. I don't know who you worked for or the type of work you did.

You talk about being a 'nervous person' and 'don't want to leave the house'. However, you have obviously had some strength - you left the UK, travelled here, settled in at university and got your self a job. Those are awesome achievements and to me they say you are good at 'getting out'.

Losing a job is hard, it brings up all kinds of thoughts about yourself. Sometime getting extra help is needed, for example from a doctor and/or counsellor.

Try to be kind to yourself. You sound a very motivated person to me, who has just had a bit of a hiccup. I have had many hiccups throughout my life. It settles down.

I'm interested in hearing how you get on.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[PamelaR]

Hello Moo

It's been quite a number of days since you posted.

How have you been? Are you able to work your way around the forums and other information available on the BB website?

Is there any questions you have?

Kind regards

PamelaR