Do i suffer anxiety?

[Joseph2409]

Hey. Im 22 male.

First time posting

Need advise

I've experienced issues since my mum passed away 6 years ago now.

Back then it was clearly due to losing my mother

These days I often experience issues with concentrating. I am easily irratated when stressed. And many things stress me easily.

Im a medical science student so my subjects are often what cause me stress if not people.

Ive experienced a high amount of sleeplessness which got really bad over the summer to the point I've started using over the counter non prescribed sleeping tablets . Which seem to do an okay job but make me feel bad the next day.

This sleeplessness has affected me a lot for work and personal life and sometimes uni life.

Today I experienced an episode during a prac class.

Which thinking about it was a much larger scale of what I often feel. Basically everything I feel x100..

I became incredibly stressed. I couldn't talk to anyone. My mind was racing. Any small sound hurt me and I struggled to concentrate. My heart felt like it was racing and my muscles felt very tense but very weak. I was crunching my hands together as a reaction to stress I guess. And if i was holding a pen I'd do the same thing to the pen. The weakness made it nearly impossible to write with my pen.

I tried calming myself down by doing slow deep breaths but it just made me more aware of my heart beat. My breaths most of the time were short shallow breaths.

After this all occured I felt very drained and tired and empty. Having lunch with my partner after didn't make anything better i felt empty and distanced. I didnt want to talk. It was a horrible feeling..

On many occasions during a week i experience issues with being easily irratated and can become stressed reasonably easy when other people can't seem to do things in an efficient manner. ​​

Until today I didn't think much of what I actually felt. I just felt the stress and withdrawal during the stress and thinking issues was actually more or less normal and peoples lack of efficiency in anything to do with anything was a warranted thing to get stressed over especially when they directly affected me in any way.

Basically a minor version in a sense of what I felt today

I'm anxious to see a doctor about it. Currently my father attends my doctor visits due to a recent diagnosis of hashimotos thyroiditis causing hypothyroidism.

So I'm unsure what to think or do in this situation. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks

[Joseph2409]

I forgot to list a symptom of today's occurance..

During the harder part of what was happening. My hands were also jittery and shaky.

[MissBenthos]

Hi Joseph, welcome 🙂

It sure sounds like anxiety to me. It took myself a long time to realise I had anxiety, it's such a weird sneaky thing. You have the same symptoms I did: easily angry/irritated, unable to sleep, shaky hands, racing mind and absolutely drained/down/empty. It's a horrible feeling.

Is there any chance you can see your regular doctor or another doctor without your dad being there? Opening up to a doctor alone is hard enough let alone another person being there.

[blondguy]

Hi Joseph

Good on you for posting! MissBenthos is spot with seeing your GP. Excellent idea. I used to have anxiety when I was in my 20's and its a pain.

Firstly, the symptoms (feelings) you are having are harmless. They feel bed...absolutely but are still feelings.

Anxiety is very very common and many people have the same symptoms as you do

Like any physical illness its important that you see your GP, especially as your quality of life is being effected.

GP's have very good training on anxiety and will be able to provide you with the reassurance and clarity you need

The shaky hands...the tight breathing...easily irritable...racing thoughts are all signs of a tired mind.

you are not alone here. Please see your GP. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by making the appt

I hope you can let us know how you go!

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Joseph2409]

Seeing my gp would be a complicated situation

I was seeing 1 gp for 3 months following a sick period in December and getting weird thyroid and liver results.

3 months because no answer was found.

My dad has a gp he has seen for many many years so he made me go see him of which my dad attended which definitely got things moving in the right direction for the thyroid results. My original gp actually made the same final comment regarding the thyroid also.

I got referred to a endocrinologist and right now we are doing another test in a month to find out the speed of progression

I was diagnosed with hashimotos thyroiditis causing hypothyroidism

It's genetic on both my dad's and mums side. It generally affects females though.

My main 2 concerns is.

1. Seeing the original gp again though last time I saw her i had to make a comment about seeing a different gp due to my dad's request. She seemed annoyed.

2. Any other diagnosis or medication I might possibly get I'd have to tell my endocrinologist specialist as well as my dad's gp as we are still following up thyroid stuff for future medication for that. Aswell as elevated liver enzyme results.

I could see my uni councillor but honestly i find them very useless. I big waste of time as they can't actually do anything except be like it's okay just do slow breathing techniques to calm down etc etc.

That's an assumption I don't actually know if they would say that. But they can't actually give solutions for the issue. Nor do I want to waste time saying how i feel to someone who can't theoretically do anything about it.

[JessF]

Hello Joseph, it sounds like you're making a lot of assumptions about what is and isn't possible with treatment and counselling options, and placing a lot of importance on finding that one health professional or counsellor who can give you 100% of the answers you're after. What do you think the best way forward from here is?

[MissBenthos]

That makes a lot of sense, what a pain!

My initial thoughts after reading that would be to ask your dad for some personal space. Explaining that you need to see your doc for other reasons that you're not ready to talk to him about yet. This is totally up to you though, it depends on your relationship with him whether you feel up to going in that direction or if you need another solution.

I haven't seen a councillor myself so I don't know what they're like to work with and keep in mind that when you are able to see a psychologist that the first one may not be right one either. I mean, I hope the first one is because it's disheartening to try find another one but sometimes for the best.

[Joseph2409]

I think ill explore the possibility of seeing the councillor provided by the university I attend and see where that goes.

Proper professionals that are more qualified I also have concerns about money. As a full time uni student my income is limited.

Talking to my father is deff not an option as it raises too many extra questions that he would not be able to understand the answers to. Or accept that just because generally im fairly well off in life. Good uni good degree goo relationship stable home (in a sense..) my relationship with him is far from good. Not bad. But i feel very uncomfortable talking to him. Especially after how horrible he treated my mother.

But because im fairly well off. To be not happy or have issues doesn't compute to him. It's a but why you have everything perfect (in his mind) there is 'no reason' for you to feel this way

He has acted the same way towards my brother who suffers depression and is diagnosed asperges. He constantly has suicidal thoughts and they control a lot of his life. But our father can't comprehend that entirely. He is a little older my brother who lives out of home and works part time.

So yeah that side of things isnt an easy side of things

My partner can't comprehend these issues. When i had the episode I talked about in my original post she nearly made it about her how it makes her feel bad because I can't feel good. How it makes her sad. And expects everything to be okay by that night. And then gives a lot of attitude when things arnt perfect again.

That flowed into today aswell where I wasn't 100% because of everything that happened. And she got more angry at me for not being perfectly happy and bubbly.

Being told later how she got brought up to always go into every day as positive as possible and be happy. And basically expected because she grew up like that that I'm expected to share that upbringing education.

She has a south American background so really isn't an aussie type person for culture or anything

[MissBenthos]

Whoa, no wonder your anxiety is getting worse with no one around to take your condition seriously. I could be wrong but it sounds to me as though your father could be causing some of your problems, I would bring up your relationship with him with the councillor if you think it's appropriate.

I can see we have a lot in common, i have always been "well off" too and that certainly bought on a sense of guilt about being sick. The thing with illness though is that it doesn't descrimitate. You could be someone who lives the perfect life in someone else's eyes but still feel unhappy.

Your partner has no understanding of mental illness either. Do you think there could be some way to educate her so she will realise you're not acting this way because of her and actually give you some support rather than making you feel worse about yourself? My sister is like this, over the years I have come to realise that she will never have the empathy to understand, I basically don't "show her my guts" anymore, it's only ever small talk now because I know that trying to be close is not worth the hurt in that relationship. She will not listen, only her points of view are valid. If that's the case with your partner, is she really someone you want to be with? A relationship is about 2 people not 1. I don't mean to push you into making any quick decisions; it's more something for you to think about over time.

[Joseph2409]

My relationship with my dad has improved over the years but it's still not really at a point that I could talk to him about actual issues I have in my life.

It was especially bad after my mother passed away. My parents were split since I was 5 and i was living with my dad for a few years before she passed.

I went and saw a councillor at that point for 3 sessions. The guy was a complete creep and lied to my face to gain my trust regarding a organisation I am involved in 'canteen' they have councillors also and they were easier to talk to and they were very therapeutic all together.

I do not feel guilt myself for being well off. It's just no one can understand if im not feeling well mentally because im well off. It doesn't compute for them.

My partner has a good heart. But she let's her emotions control a lot of her words and actions before she really thinks. This issue has nearly ruined our relationship before I had to force a break between us which didn't last long due to that issue. She seemed to understand her actions and promised to make assertive efforts to improve upon them. When ever there is a small issue though. It becomes a stupid big issue because of that side of her

A small issue i have with her is her complete lack of attention to detail or care about her actions. For example. We're medical science students. And in our practical classes she doesn't follow instructions well and then does things that require care and technique with complete lack of care of technique then when I try get her to do it the right way the emotional side comes out and basically makes the next few hours an annoying amount of her being annoyed at me because I 'don't know how to talk to' her 'properly'

Personally that drives me up the wall sometimes. As i said though she has a big heart which I love about her so my preference is to not break the relationship but there have been a handful of things that have nearly caused it to occur