hi RobynL, Welcome to the forum,
Sorry but your post is limited with information so it is difficult for me to help. I can only guess that you have been "disowned" because your mother is telling you she doesnt accept the partner of your choice. So I am assuming this.
This often happens. It is up to you in my opinion to 'judge' whether your mother is acting right or wrong. If you believe in your heart she is incorrect then you must follow your instincts and choose to leave her be, and get on with your life without her. Often these issues sort themselves out eventually however.....if she is using emotional blackmail then that is WRONG.
I suffered emotional blackmail as a child and an adult. It was when my mother wanted to get her own way about issues that was not of her business. eg 'If you date that girl again I'm packing my bags and going on a holiday without you". "If you do this I'll do that" type of thing. I was 24yo when I read a chapter of a book distributed by GROW (greater religions of the world) about emotional blackmail and it was my mum exactly.
Emotional blackmail or 'disowning' family members is a weapon that can be cruel. It is also a fine weapon in control. If you bow down to this force now then she will use it again and again.
For you own peace of mind stand fast. Do not give in. Over time you will learn to live a free life without this trauma. Give in and you will be forever within her grasp.
