Depression and stress badly effecting uni...

[Darkcatboy69]

Just feeling so overwhelmed with uni at the moment. Assignments just pile up because I get too stressed to deal with them and put it off...by then its 4 assignments due in the next week or 2 and not enough time to get anything over a pass. Sometimes the uni language is far too complicated (and I'm an Aussie born that has always had an advanced reading level even at 5) and I am expected to have a certain level of skill without that ever been mentioned like a year 12 level of math, an ability to read tables, ability to use word like a pro (trust me getting word to use APA is harder than it sounds!) and general abilities that I never learned while I was younger. Plus my attention span is about 5 mins unless I am really invested like when I am painting or writing. Basically I pay attention to fun brightly coloured stuff but anything else is impossible. 

I go to a prestigious private uni so I don't want to be kicked out for not being good enough. I am afraid that if I get disability assistance for depression, anxiety or stress the uni will kick me out for not being up to standard. I know I don't belong with the smart kids that don't struggle with basic concepts. My field is psychology so its competitive from the start and you get no where later in your life if you fail at the start. The fact my parents pay for it and I have no debts only makes it worse. I have to prove its worth the money they pay. In my opinion its worse than oweing money.  

I am an introvert and contact with other poeple is scary so I have no idea how to make friends. I couldn't tell you what a friend was. So aside from a friend I don't want to trouble, I have no one. When stress gets too much I self harm. I don't really have any other way when I am in the moment.  I do see a psychologist but its effecting uni badly. I take days off uni when I am too depressed or stressed to handle it. Too much unexplained lateness means I fail. 

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[JessF]

Hello darkcatboy, I'm sorry that your post got missed by us when you first put it up. It sounds like you are feeling a lot of pressure at uni right now. I'm going to start by asking you a question, and I want you to put aside for a moment all the expectations and guilt your'e feeling about your parents and peers... is psychology a field you really, deep in your heart, want to study in? 

The reason I say this is because you mention that painting and writing are very absorbing for you, and you also talk about being introverted and scared of being around other people. Psychology is a big field, you may be interested in research, but it is the study of people and being involved quite intimately with people and their problems.  

Do you think it's possible that this might be at the core of what is stressing you out so much?

[AGrace]

Hi darkcatboy,

I remember when I started studying Psychology being asked to read a massive text book. The language was so foreign to me I kept thinking I'd have to refer to a dictionary every sentence I read. As time went on and I sought assistance from my tutors the lingo that was used in this field became more familiar to me.

Jess has posed a very good question for you to consider.

I also just wanted to add that being at an elite university should mean that you have access to career guidance counsellors, student counsellors, and teachers who although you might not think it, are all wanting to see you succeed, and therefore would be more than willing to assist you.

There's a few things that you may like to ask for help with:

Time Management / Goal Setting

Self Motivation

Additional Tutoring to align your skill set with the expectations

Managing Stress while studying

What may be difficult for you to see right now is that the mature adult approach to these concerns is to ask for help before it's too late. If you think of elite sports people, they don't just get to the top by being already incredible in their field. They are coached, trained, developed, mentored, and supported every single day. That's what university is about, LEARNING before you get into the workforce.

No one will judge you for asking for help, however by not asking you may not get the grades that you deserve and want. If you don't want to mention mental illness that's up to you, but you could look at the option of seeking help with mental or emotional concerns independently at your GP.

I hope this has been helpful. Let us know how you get on.

AGrace

[redbrigade]

Hi darkcatboy
In addition to the student support services that the university should have, and private tutoring (both of which AGrace mentioned), there are also often 'subject tutors'. They're usually students who have done well in a subject and run small group sessions regularly to help others. See if you can find any.

Also look into some workshops on any skills you might find lacking. The university's student support services should be able to inform you of these, or perhaps your university library can.

On top of all that: talk to your lecturers! They've all had to go through similar things, and provide guidance for students who have too. Once you break the barrier between student and lecturer university life becomes so much easier!

As for APA in word - are you using any referencing software like EndNote? It integrates into word and automatically parses references into the document for you. It can be a little difficult to learn but it's a great organisational tool. Your university should have a license for EndNote or some software like it, and provide workshops for learning it. But there are also free versions of that kind of software available too.

Your attention span: does it help if you are taking notes when listening to lecture? I don't really know what your strategy with that is, but you mentioned writing keeps your focus. Maybe adjusting your note-taking approach might help you absorb more information. Perhaps try using more diagrams or drawing visual cues for yourself when you take notes? Just an idea.

Best of luck