Depression affecting my life!

[LiveToday]

I'm new to this site so hey!!

I'm writting this seeking some advice, maybe you have experienced something similar or know someone who has. For numerous years I have been experiencing extreme depressive episodes and the occasional manic episode. I have had the diagnoses of Bipolar disorder but it changes all the time. I'm struggling greatly at the moment in pretty much every aspect of my life. I'm currently unemployed and really struggling to not only find a job, but, to then maintain that job. The last few years, not only have I been experiencing the usual mood fluctuations, I have also started to undertake certain habits that I can't control. I have really bad OCD at the moment which is not only restricting my life but also causing a lot of further stress and exhaustion. Sometimes, depending on my OCD and mood, it could easily take me 3 or more hours just to get ready and leave the house...........even if i just need to go to the shops quickly. I have found that these repetitive thoughts, actions and compulsions are triggered by my low mood, anxiety and paranoia (more prominent in the morning and at night). I do see professionals for my issues and have been for many many years now but sometimes I feel I'm taking steps backwards rather than forwards. I want to achieve in life and find employment in a profession I'm interested and comfortable in, however things don't seem to be heading towards that direction. I never finished school and haven't worked for a good few years. I really want to work but how do I find an employer that's willing to give me a chance despite my many "complications". I feel worthless all the time and the feeling of underachieving in life is feeding that insecurity. I have accepted the fact the my unstable mood will be with me for life but how do i work around these obstacles to achieve? I know i shouldn't compare myself to others, but when I see my peers getting somewhere with their lives I feel totally useless. If you have experienced something similar and have found ways of working around it/ coping let me know. Thankyou!

[smith98]

G'day and welcome to the site!

By sharing what you are going through and reaching out for help you have already taken a huge step in the right direction! I am really sorry to hear that you are having a tough time and having been there myself i can tell you from experience that it will get better.

You mentioned that you have been diagnosed, is this the extent of help you have received? The reason i ask is because you mentioned your "unstable mood will be with you for life" and whilst you may have a condition for the rest of your life it doesnt mean it can't be managed. I recommend seeing a specialist and talking through your options and how you can manage any issues you feel you have. It is really important you have others around you to support you, for example, Family, Friends, Healthcare professionals ect.

Moreover, there are a number of people who dropped out of school who went on to be very successful. Personally, i have always believed that year 12 exams are simply a stepping stone to doing what you want. Yes obviously if you finish school and achieve a fantastic score you will find it easier to study you prefered course at Uni, however, if you didn't do this it doesnt mean your dreams are impossible. If you want something bad enough it is very much within your reach.

You mentioned that you wanted to find a profession you are interested in. This is a great idea! Steve Jobs once said that "The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't find it yet keep looking. don't settle!" I would love to hear your interests!

There are loads of jobs out there and employers can be very reasonable. They are not allowed to discriminate against any issues you have. Try to find a really simple easy job just to get you back in the workforce; (apologies for another quote) Bill Gates made a good point when he said "Flipping burgers is not beneath anyones dignity. I have a different work for burger flipping... I call it opportunity". It will keep you occupied and will provide a base for you to work your way up to doing a job you love.

I know how it feels to feel worthless. Let me tell you that you're not! I know you might think that i am just saying that and you may not believe me but it is the truth. You have the potential to anything you want! When i felt worthless i started volunteering and helping out others.

I at my word limit but i hope to chat to you soon and will be looking out for you in the future! hope this helped

Love

Jack Smith

[Lonely22]

LiveToday, I also have severe OCD and struggle to gain employment. I get intrusive thoughts all day every day, preventing me from enjoying things I used to, like reading, video games... I volunteer every week, like 10hrs, the extent of my social interactions, and even then I'm so terrible at it. I notice when anxiety inducing things in life (upcoming social event, etc.) my OCD escalates, it's exhausting, yeah. And finding work, forget about it... I hate competition and being compared to others (I'm never good enough) I look forward to hearing more about you