Dealing with borderline personality disorder

[tiinx]

A little about myself I'm a 24 year old female, who was diagnosed with bpd in the year 2010. I've been to numorious psychologist, as well as medications. But I know deep down that this is going to be a lifetime battle I'm going to struggle with. I know I've come a long way from what I was in the year 2010 from the suicide attempts to the implosive behaviour. As years have gone on those behaviours have diminished, but others have surfaced more as my anxiety has gotten to the point were I can barely leave the house, I have to mentally prepare my self for social situations a day or two in advance other wise I'll go into melt down, My relationship with my partner is very up and down due to my moods, I have no trust in anyone. Also did a lot of reading on the mental illness and was sad to read a lot of negative articles about females with bpd, and to avoid relationships with. I've got a few questions out there who are suffering and going through the long process of healing; what treatments worked best for you? Any long term relationships, what suggestions do you have to me and my non bpd affected partner. What has worked for you to make you relasionship work? Little tips for either him or me.  

This is the first time I've spoken so openly about my mental illness and I've realised its nothing to be ashamed off no more. 

Will be great to hear back from any off you dealing with the same issue. I'd love to hear any advice, stories, and tips. 

 xxx

[Chris_B]

Hi tiinx, welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing your journey so far. A good way to find others dealing with BPD would be by contributing to the threads we already have open. I've listed a few below, and you can find more by using the search function  at the top of the page:

Borderline personality disorder by bpd

Borderline personality disorder and anxiety by mrsanxiety

Recently told I have borderline personality disorder by helpmeplease

Borderline personality disorder by AGrace

Borderline personality disorder by Happygal

Borderline personality disorder by nkg

[Madonna]

Hi Tinx,

Thank-you for sharing your story and now I feel confident in sharing mine for the first time.

I am also 24 and was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder late last year. Prior to my diagnosis I always thought I was just a sensitive person suffering from depression. When I found out I was diagnosed with BPD I couldn't believe it and I didn't like the idea of being labelled for my condition. With time I slowly accepted BPD after reflecting on certain events in my life I could understand why I reacted in a implusive manner especially with guys. For example, meeting a guy and being infatuated by him only to devalue him once he let me down and then move on to the next guy and repeat the cycle.

Their is this constant feeling of emptiness and abandonment in me. I don't have many friends because I always reject them before they reject me. I find it difficult to explain people I have BPD because of the stigma behind it as people with BPD can be seen as attention seekers which I know is not the case at all.

I have never been in a long term relationship but I know there are resources out there to help people who are in a relationships with someone with BPD. 

Have you heard of Dialectal Behavioural Therapy (DBT)? It is specially designed for people with BPD to give them tools to cope with BPD and I heard it can really change your life around. I'm about to start it next week so if you have services in your area that offer DBT I would encourage you to look into it.

I take everyday as it comes somedays are harder than others but talking to people helps.

[____jason____]

Hi,

My name is Jason,

I am 20 i am in the process where the psychologist think i definitely have BPD .. when i research it i see myself in the symptoms.

i was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome at age 9.. i was severely bullied at school, in my family i felt like the outcast treated bad. my mum left at age 3 then i saw a lot of blood at 12 my mum was bashed by her boyfriend at the time....

last year diagnosed with Adhd, Major Depression

I have very unstable relationships i cant hold down friendships because people think im strange and/or they do something that makes me devalue them then i will like them and the cycle goes on. but i am the one who invites not the one to be invited. dont have a strong relationship with family. I am addicted to sexual desire, i get paranoid i cant be around people without thinking people think i like someone or i want sex or because i said hi to a girl autimatically i think they think i am a pedo. that i should isolate myself. cant hold down a job

i am very explosive and implosive. im paranoid with people easily. my mind runs fast. mine and my dads relationship isnt strong. and i get extreme highs and lows

i constantly hate myself then love myself to much another cycle.. iv had 2 suicide attempts and self harm, 3 week hospitalisation.

i use to get feelings of extreme boredom now its change to extreme paranoid i feel i am weird people think im weird that i feel ill and everyone is looking at me. this makes me feel disconnected with the world i feel i go into a state of unreality with my paranoia.. im very impulisive my mind wont let me stick to my set morals or ways of life i go against what i want to do.. i feel i want to get up to no good, risky sex.

if anyone can help me i am feeling lost scared confused and alienated i get extremely suicidal.. i want to be happy no always depressed i hate it.... therapy isnt working.... meds are sort of working ...... i can get so stuck my problems that im scared that soon or later i will develope psychosis

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