Crying non-stop

[idkwhy]

I am a 14 year-old girl who lives in Melbourne.

I recently went on a trip with my family and family friends up to Mt. Hotham. There was no wi-fi and I don't have mobile data, we are going to be staying there for a week. Before I went I thought I would've died because there were no wi-fi and I'd be disconnected from all my friends and games, but when I got there I realised how happy I was without all that stuff. I didn't need to care about my school friends' complicated love lives or worry about what I should do to get in the popular group. I was genuinely stress-free and relaxed. When I woke up every morning I would see my friends who DOESN'T just talk about boys and gossip and were easy to hang out with, we would go out skiing and come back at dawn to play childish games like hide-and-seek that I thought I was too old for. I have forgotten how fun the world was without all that stress from my normal life. I also fell in love, I loved the feeling of waking up and seeing him, leaning on him on the couch in the house we rented, playing games and laughing. It was like a dream.

But on the day we came home it all fell apart.

We discussed on meeting for lunch before everyone goes home, in a town on the way back to Melbourne. But our car broke down and had to stop, everyone else left, driving past us. We had to call RACV and stuff.

The moment I realised we wouldn't make it to lunch, and I wouldn't see my friends (who I have bonded with deeply more than ever) or my crush (who I miss like crazy already) for months and would have to go back to my normal life, not living in the dream anymore (that cozy little house), I started sobbing.

I tried to hold in my tears as they fell out, turning and facing away from my family. I tried to calm myself down every time, but the tears just kept on coming. I had to go to the bathroom several times during the day and cry my heart out.

Last night I thought if I've slept, then I would've felt better. But I woke up sobbing and dreaming about my friends and life on the Mountain (which felt like stress-less heaven). And I still keep on bursting into tears several times in a day. My heart felt ever so empty.

Someone please help me, I have tried to distract myself with several things but none has worked, not even my hobbies.

Thank you for reading this.

[Croix]

Dear Idkwhy~

Welcome here to the Forum. You sound as if you are not only going though a bad time at the moment but have realized that your everyday life has not been exactly what you thought. Crying like that is pretty horrible, and feeling you need to hide it from your family only makes it worse.

Your post is written by someone that has a good grasp of things, quite realistic and clear. I would imagine that while you saw your brief time away as amazing you would in time find things about it (leaving aside your crush for the moment) that were impractical or frustrating or got very ordinary as time went on.

That trip did however give you a chance to assess your day to day life and see some of its shortcomings, perhaps this came as rather a surprise.

I guess the ideal life would be to have the advantages of each of those two different worlds combined together. I'd think that at least some of that would be possible.

In the time since you have been back have you thought about what sort of changes you could make that would leave you feeling happier and less stressed?

You did talk about holding your tears in in front of family. While this is pretty understandable is there anyone in your family you can talk about this with? Do you perhaps get on well with your mum? There are a couple of reasons I ask, first simply sharing unhappiness can help and lift a weight, and secondly another person's perspective can sometimes provide good ideas.

We would really like it if you said what you though about this and told how you were getting on

Croix

[startingnew]

hello and welcome

i dont have much to what Croix has added. it is sounding really tough for you right now

perhaps for some extra supports your welcome to use to helplines. Kidshelpline and headspace i think would be most beneficial for you. they have the option to call or to connec online and chat with qualified mental health professionals. they are very good with young people and are quite supportive and helpful.