Career pressure

[Jackson1994]

I can't deal with this pressure from my step dad about what I want to do anymore!!

I don't know!! And I'm sick of it. The fact that I don't know is what is ruining me the most but then his added pressure is just making this worse! It's as if I don't already know that I need to find something, he doesn't have to tell me that. Stop asking me if I've applied for uni I haven't because i don't know what to do!!

[HamSolo01]

hey jackson1994

take it from a uni student.. its not for everyone

If you dont know what to study then you dont know what to study. Its not worth racking up a heap of debt and have the stress of uni if you are unsure.

Maybe find a course you think youd be interested in and then read up on it some more. There is a hell of a lot of info out there on what to study.

Also try working somewhere for a bit. Do you currently work at a place? volunteer?

Also if it is causing you so much stress and anxiety then its maybe worth checking in with a specialist. Theres no shame in that. Besides, you dont have to tell anyone anyway.

All the best. This forum is excellent for help when you need it.

[Jackson1994]

He just keeps telling I'm not going to get anywhere and I should of gone to uni straight out of school, ffs.

Yeah I do work, at a cafe.

[HamSolo01]

Going to uni straight out of school wouldn't make any difference. Everyone's got their own stories and life experience. To think that one single model would apply to everyone is silly.

You will get somewhere. It wont happen overnight. Our generation is entering a new century where things are totally different to what they were when our parents were growing up. We have our set of life norms and they have theirs, just like it was for them and their parents and their before them.. thats how the world works and it will continue that way.

Its good you are working at a cafe though. Could you possibly get more shifts and thereby earn some more money for a holiday or trip? Perhaps spend your sparetime researching courses you might be keen on?

I know people in their who've truly "not gone anywhere" but they are managing life. Thats no consulation i know but im trying show you that the one size fits all approach is wrong.

Dude, im 23, single and always have been so im a virgin, havent finished uni that i started in 2013, havent been overseas for 7 years, been to hospital 2 times for my mental health, work a little bit but its nowhere near enough... BUT i'm surviving. I'm taking it each day at a time and so far so good.

Technically there will always be people doing better than us. I can think of someone right now doing better than us both.. Bill Gates. There. See.. easy. Try not to sh*t on yourself before you start my friend.

[Jessicatherese94]

Hi Jackson, totally feel you on this one. It's very frustrating having a parent/step parent constantly on your back about the future. Do you have another family member that could speak to your step dad about what he's saying? (i.e. mother, sibling etc?) You could even try writing him a letter explaining that it does take time to work things out and that many people take years to work out what they want to do with their life (and hey, working at a cafe is pretty cool, you're making money and being productive!) I'm 22 and only just started a degree and will be at uni until I'm about 27 - honestly everyone has a different path and it doesn't matter how you get there just as long as you keep moving forward. Don't let him get you down, keep doing your thing. Is there anything else that interests you? You could try a TAFE course or something similar if you have an interest in a certain field. Would love to hear from you.

[The_Possum]

Hey Jackson

Skimming past the posts and yours caught my attention because I can relate.

When I was in year 12 I had so much pressure from family, firstly to get good grades, and secondly to pick a course, go to uni, get a cadetship good job etc etc

As a result I picked a profession and started uni, got the cadetship and the awesome career and money that came with it and stuck with it for 10 years..

Until a few years ago when I realised I absolutely hate it. It was something I didn't want for me. It was all for them. And it was a quick decision made by a lost and confused 17 year old that just wanted to please the family or shut them up with all their pressure.

I ended up retraining.. Back to uni as a post grad..what a waste of time.

Moral to the story is don't rush it and make sure you do it for YOU not for others.

I regret not taking a year off and travelling. I bet when I got back I'd have a clearer picture of what I wanted to do. Rather than be shoe holed into a career I hate.

Just ignore them. For your own sanity.

Good luck x

[kbkman]

hey mate. When I was in high school the perceived pressure to make something of myself and decide a direction for my career and life contributed massively to my mental health issues.

Fast forward, I am 24, 7 years out of high school, and things are slowly working out. I've learned that everyone runs their own race, and there is no right way to go about it. Some folk went to uni right away and finished a degree and have started a career. Good for them, I am happy for them. others failed several courses and haven't managed to get off the ground. I feel for them, obviously uni wasn't for them. There are other options.

I have just completed my first year in an undergrad. I thought it was a pretty late start to uni, and on my first day I expected to walk into a lecture full of 18 and 19 year olds. How wrong I was, there are folk in my classes old enough to be my parents. I find the long wait means I can comprehend and complete all my work to a much higher standard than I would have out of school. It also mean I knew I was sure about what it was I would study: for me it is a major in English and History. I doubt I would have picked anything of the sort straight out of school, in fact I recall I hated the idea of uni at all which is why I declined to go.

I actually studying through other forms and simply worked a lot, I felt I learned a lot in the past few years.

Are you still in high school or finished?

If your set dad is aware of any mental health issues you may have, tell him quite bluntly to shove it because he sounds like a moron. If not, perhaps be candid with him and discuss the impact his unsolicited and poor advice is having on you.

Don't feel rushed to decide, and certainly don't feel afraid of failing. It's awesome that you have a job. Focus on that, as someone else said maybe ask for more work?

Remember, uni starts every 6 months, so don't feel rushed like there's only one boat and you've gotta be on it. A lot of people work full time for years and then go. And like I said, it's not for everyone and it can be quite irritating, tedious and boring. There are lots of other things to do too like apprenticeships or simply finding a job you enjoy and sticking with it. There are no rules!