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Breakup due to depression

Guest_830
Community Member
My boyfriend had been suffering from depression for about 2 months. He said he didn’t know why he felt the way that he did that he was empty and lost feelings for everything including me. When he broke up he seemed to have no hope of getting better. We were madly in love and before this had no issues in our relationship. We’re still close but it’s hard when I’m still in love with him. He’s my best friend and i want nothing more than to see him better so my focus right now is just to support him but I wonder if I’m silly to hold onto hope that he might get the feelings back that he used to have and that we could have the future we were planning together.
2 Replies 2

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome

Its hard for anyone to comment on this with accuracy. However sometimes people realise they are depressed when, gor whatever reason, they are not fully happy in their relationship.

I would give him space. If he has love for you he'll return. If not then it is beating yourself up by chasing him.

The grief we experience through separation is immense, it is only down the track we see it in a logical realisation that it wasnt meant to be. This is even more so when we take up dating again and fall in love with someone more compatible.

In the meantime look after yourself now. Some things in life are beyond our control.

Take care

TonyWK

therising
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

HI Chloe97

I offer you a warm welcome and express how glad I am that you've come here.

I'm sorry depression has impacted both your lives in a variety of ways, separation included. It's a terrible mental state which taxes not only the person who lives with it but also those around them. This is where I'll say that it's important you take care of yourself when it comes to dealing with another's mental well-being.

It's not at all silly to be holding onto hope in regard to your boyfriend changing his mind, when it comes to regaining those feelings for you. With 'the mind' being defined as 'the brain at work', this makes it a little easier to understand depression: When the brain changes (based on a number of reasons), our mind also changes. How our brain processes feelings like motivation, love, happiness etc., will change within the state of depression. My intention is not to take all the romance out of love but love, in part, is a matter of chemistry (brain chemistry).

It's not at all unusual for there to be that sense of disconnection which your boyfriend is experiencing. With you reforming connections with him, solely as a source of support, you are to be greatly admired. Encouraging him to seek sources of further support will be beneficial, so that he doesn't have to suffer through the complexities of depression without a form of solid guidance.

Having lived both inside and outside of depression, the difference is incredible. Going from a state of disconnection to a state of loving everyone and everything, I can tell you that it is possible things will change for you and your boyfriend. Again, encourage him to look for constructive resources which will help see him through and out the other side of depression.

Take care Chloe97