Being seen as boring by others

[Idek]

I think i'm really boring. Everyone that i know has an exciting life, while i'm always stuck on my bed, at home, on my laptop, watching tv series or on social media and coming across pictures of other of my friends doing fun activities in their life. i'm always bored and right now, it seems like my mother and i are going to spend the holidays at home doing nothing, as usual. Lately, i've also noticed that most of my friends leaving me out of things and talking or inviting other 'cool' or 'fun' people to things i once was invited to before. No one talks to me as much before and i feel most of my friendships drifting apart. This always seems to happen to me. I always become close to people then out of nowhere im not good enough for them anymore and im either taken for granted, left out, or they find someone else to move onto. i don't know. if anyone has any type of advice to help me keep friendships, become more confident and a lot less boring to others but especially to myself. thankyou.

[Janey123]

Hey Idek,

Being left out sucks, sorry you feel that you are boring... I'm sure you aren't!

Firstly, what people put on social media isn't always their reality.. It is a over-exaggerated highlight reel and nothing more. If social media makes you feel sad, perhaps you should consider going without it for the summer.. (I'm a social media junkie, so I know that it wouldn't be easy!). But I also know that sometimes it is bad for my mental health when I compare myself to others, so I try and detox from it. Maybe secretly 'unfollow' anyone you get jealous seeing?

When I was in Year 11, my friends would often just not invite me to things... leaving me wondering what I'd done to deserve it.. One time they did invite me, but 'forgot' to come and get me, leaving me sitting at home in front of the tv with my parents on a Saturday night.. Ugh, it was horrible. I realise now that they weren't real friends, they were just the only girls at my school I had anything in common with, I met my real friends at uni and at work later. Are these friends your true friends or just people you hang with?

Do you play sport, have any interests or hobbies? Are you still in school?

One thing I would suggest is to think of a pile of things ending with 'ing' that make you happy, even if they seem uncool to others, then make every attempt to busy yourself doing them. Things like reading, cooking, running, taking a bubble bath, visiting family, babysitting, skating, talking, Netflix bingeing, etc. Hopefully, the more busy you are do'ing' your own thing, the less time you'll have to think and care about what other people are doing and thinking.

Janey xx

[white knight]

Hi Idek,

Hoping the following threads can help.

Use google

Topic: confidence, how do you get it?- beyondblue

Topic: boredom, the closed door to fun- beyondblue

Topic: rejection, its hard to swallow beyondblue

Topic: the best praise you'll ever get- beyondblue

Tony WK

[Guest_3072]

Hi there Idek,

I think sometimes, people who are extroverted may sometimes be quick to label people who prefer more low-key and easy-going activities or who are introverted in general as boring, but to me, it's all about your own personal tastes and interests.

Don't force yourself to get out there and do things just to seem cool or be with the in crowd. I'm not saying that this is what you've said though, I just thought it would be some good advice to add here.

for me personally, always going out and being social gets exhausting sometimes, even if it's with people I enjoy. I can barely go out maybe three times a week before I start longing for just a quiet night to myself. But it's all about balance really. Just try not to compare yourself to others and don't be so quick to judge yourself as boring because you're not going to parties or whatever, different activities attract different kinds of people.

If you do find yourself feeling a bit lonely or isolated though, talking with a mental health professional would be a good place to start.

Best regards,

Gabby xo