Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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confused about a relationship

replies: 3

Hi everyone, Recently I have just started talking to this guy and I have told him that I don't want a relationship yet because I wanna get everything sorted and work on myself before starting anything serious, and he's fine with that. recently he got drunk and started saying "you're not even that attractive" and told me that his friends don't think I'm good enough for him and he knows that hurt my feelings and we have spoken about it and have semi sorted it out (i'm still hurt but there isn't anything else for us to talk about). Now a week or so has passed and he wants to catch up with me and 1. my parents don't know that we are talking and I don't know how to bring that up, so if anyone has any advice on that, it would be greatly appreciated, and 2. I don't really know how I feel anymore and if I wanna catch up with him alone I kind of want to see him when i'm with some friends so that I have some support because they all know about what has happened and have told me to get out touch with him because he doesn't seem to be good for me and all that so i'm really confused as to what to do. This kind of stuff has happened to me before and I have never been good and sticking up for myself if it means it can potentially hurt his feelings. So if anyone has any sort of advice as to what I should do and how to potentially tell my parents that would be great! Thank you in advance!

Loneliness at School

replies: 1

I'm a Singaporean living in Australia. However, I am unable to connect to anyone. I may have autism because I always appear as cold and I can't sustain a conversation with peers. I'll have to resume school tomorrow and I really don't want to. Due to being unable to connect with anyone, I play myself as 'the joker' to have a place in the school. I hate this role but I don't know what to do. Everyone dislikes me and I feel bad to even show my face at school anymore. Even teachers dislike me. I have to friends who I can't really connect with but I don't want to abandon. No-one seems to share my interests and I've never felt so alone. Everyone scorns me and I just feel isolated and miserable. What's worse is that I haven't shared this with anyone and my parents keep on scolding me for being disengaged with school. Yet I feel I can't tell them because I'd get into trouble for misbehaving. I facade a 'I don't care' attitude with my friends and they keep on saying that my personality is bad. It isn't my real one but I don't know how to show it. What should I do this year?

22 year old insecure virgin With no direction in life

replies: 1

Hey all, new to this so bare with me! I am 22 and have been in a pit of depression since I was 17 but I have had anxiety my whole life and body image issues. I never really done much with a girl besides the old peck back when I was like 14 due to insecurity... idk what to do because I’m so lacking of experience now compared to others my age. Im not short of female attention and never have been since a young age, I’ve always been thought of as handsome and fit but never can accept it myself. The last 4 years I’ve isolated myself and pretty much only gone to the gym, most people see me and think I must have everything going for me due to how I look but In my mind I just cringe at any compliment I’m given and see it as if they’re just trying to big me up. I don’t know how to talk to people in small talk due to being isolated and ignoring friends and cancelling any sort of plans they try and make because I’d rather stay home with my dog and watch YouTube. I’ve been through numerous jobs during that time because I find it so hard to sleep at all when I have anything on the next day I’m so anxious and end up sending stupid texts in to why I can’t make it and usually haven’t slept and end up quitting because it’s too much anxiety for me even for the most mundane jobs, when I’m working I just don’t stop thinking about being at home in my comfort zone and when I’m home even on my days off I’m like counting down the hours until I have to be at work.. I feel I can’t calm my mind even as I sit here at 2:30am writing this. My virginity doesn’t faze me it only gets to me when I feel the pressure of others to loose it, I’ve recently in the last year started actually having anxiety attacks to which I never have had before where I thought I was dying. I’m scared to get any job because I feel I’ll fail at it.. even the most simple task that I can most definitely do I will doubt myself in. I really just want to be happy but I’m scared to make any move with women/jobs and life! Once someone gets past that awkward stage with me I’m very funny and outgoing but it’s extremely hard to get past it... I know I’ve just rambled on but I just think I need to hear other people’s opinions.

I have no friends, cannot make friends and am crushingly lonely. Please help.

replies: 6

I made this account literally just to post this, and I’m not sure if anyone will care, but if the brochures from the mental health spokespeople in school mean anything, then I suppose this is a place that can help. For the past 6 years, I have felt like someone who nobody wanted to be friends with. I’ve floated around different groups, only for them to treat me like shit and be rejected. I put so much time and energy into making new friends every year to replace the old ones I lose, only for them to leave me as well. I try explaining it to people, nobody and I mean nobody can help, it’s always just the same recycled responses “oh just reach out” “make new friends” “see new people” yeah, as if I haven’t tried that 100 times already. Honestly, I am always the third wheel in a friendship. Years of being people’s second or last choice or never even a choice at all has left me in a state where I am completely incapable of feeling wanted or worth anything. I tell myself that things will get better, and I tell myself that I’ll get new friends but the cycle just repeats over and over and over. I can’t tell my parents, I can’t have them worried, and they wouldn’t understand. I love them but this is something that I don’t think they can help with. I feel crushingly lonely constantly. It is truly horrible. I feel like that outside of my immediate family there is not a soul who cares about me on this planet. I need to know that my experience isn’t unique. I need someone to be able to relate with me. I need to know that I’m not just the freak show who is physically incapable of forming meaningful friendships. I don’t know if anybody is going to read this, I don’t know if anybody cares. But, if my mental breakdown 1 AM forum post graces your screen, please, tell me you relate.

Sex & Anxiety, and a whole bunch of issues

replies: 2

Hi, Recently I've started a new relationship. Well, actually I'm 21 and its my first relationship. I've strayed away from anything remotely intimate most of my life partly because my anxiety rules me fearful of most people and i feel as though i cannot trust them. I've (as of like a 5 days ago) had sex for the first time and my general anxiety has been off the charts since. For no good reason I feel so incredibly guilty that i feel sick about it. Even though im on the pill i feel like an extreme anxious feeling that i potentially could be pregnant and that alone scares me from wanting to do anything remotely sexual again. I wake up and immediately feel very upset about that in particular. I've had a very bad general anxiety disorder episode in the past (back in 2018) and this feels like its becoming that. On top of this, i am on a relatively medium level dose of antidepressants for both anxiety and a previous depressive episode, and what worries me is that im beginning to feel this anxious on the medication. The medication also renders my libido to practically 0, so i felt nothing emotionally during the sex part. - I have been honest about my mental health to my partner but i dont think he would understand if i told him that i felt nothing. My parents are traditional and strict, and although i am open about everything in my life to my mum, i cant tell her any of this which furthers my guilt about the whole thing. Apologies for such a long post. Does anyone have any advice? Have you been through something similar? I feel very alone about it.

I played myself and might soon lose my best friend

replies: 1

If you read through with the following you might think I deserve this. I acknowledge I brought the following upon myself, but I still hope to find some advice here on what to do next. I (male, 21) only have 2 real friends (guy and girl), both met at uni. The girl (I'll call by her initial F here) I met 2018 at a low point in my life, and our friendship was awesome and really helped carry me through some tough times. It was not intentional at the beginning but halfway through last year I developed a crush on her. It didn't work out, and she told me she didn't like me. I nominally moved on, but didn't actually. Maybe it was my Asperger's derived anxiety, or maybe it was real, but afterwards it seemed F was growing distant. I started doing a lot of abnormally friendly things, like inviting her to lunch and paying for all of it, and frequently buying her gifts. There were 2 reasons, one because I panicked and was terrified to lose F as a friend, but secondly and worst of all, because I didn't really move on from my crush, and in my deluded state thought but doing good things for her I might turn things around. (It's worth mentioning she already has boyfriend so in hindsight my actions were EXTRA STUPID). My other friend (I'll call him R) warned me if I didn't actually move on from my crush, I won't be able to keep her as a friend. My mum even warned me of the same thing. I was stupid and didn't listen. I had a stupid plan made where if I keep being extra good to her not only will our friendship improve, but she might end up liking me. Needless to say my little "plan" backfired hard. F stopped hanging with me. She felt awkward with me paying for stuff etc. She told me she didn't feel I treated her like a friend, but rather like someone I'm in love with (which was true). I explained to her my paranoid driving the aforementioned behaviour, but I had to lie that I truly have moved on and have no romantic intentions. Now, I truly have no more romantic intentions. All I want to be able to do is keep her as my friend. But I don't even know if that is still possible. I'm in a state of panic because she hasn't replied to me asking whether we can continue to be friends, but she's seen the message. I should have listened to mum and R. Any idea what I can do now?

cant control

replies: 1

when im crying ill just snap out of it and the tears will stop and then i start smiling. i cant control it, especially the smiling i dont know why but its starting to scare me a little. when im sad idk how to explain but ill just feel happy that im sad and start smiling. it bad becuase when my parents make me cry ill start smiling and theyll think im faking it. is this normal?

Problems With Loneliness

replies: 6

Hey all, This is my first time posting on this website, although I've read a few threads from the forums previously. I'm just about to enter my last year of high school and experiencing all the stresses that come along with that but I'm having problems with feeling lonely. I have a good group of friends whom I care about immensely and look out for me, I hang out with them a lot a get along with them well. However, I find that the only times I feel truly happy are when I am with them and always feel lonely when I'm not with them, even immediately after I spend the day with them. I feel down in the dumps a lot or even depressed when I'm at home and school so I try my hardest to be with at least someone from my group as much as possible, a difficult task some times since I live far away from any of my friends and my parents work a lot. I see a physiologist every now and then but still have difficulties with finding support since I don't want to burden my friends and my parents don't really take me seriously when I tell them that I'm not okay. I would love some advice on minimising these feelings of loneliness when I can't always see my friends and ways of overcoming it. I feel somewhat bad since my problems seem trivial as a pose to some of the much larger problems that are being faced by other people on this forum. Thanks for listening to what I had to say.

Height related depression and anxiety

replies: 1

Hey everyone, This is my first time reaching out, I revisited this thought of making/not making an account multiple times. A little about me- I’m a 25 year old male who’s living in Melbourne. In terms of my work life, I’m successful and ahead of my peers my own age. BUT nothing seems to make me happy because I have started to hate myself for being a short guy. In a country like Australia, I feel like I am devastatingly short. My height is 5’5. No matter what I achieve, I feel like I’m being undone because of how short I am. I have lost all my confidence. It’s come to a point where I’ve developed a crippling mentality, I feel each person on the road is judging me for being too short. Even at work, I go into random bursts of dreaming, dreams where I was taller & would have the confidence to talk to people. What hurts me even more is that I’ve lost my ability to even make friends for the same reason. As of today, I find myself unhappy and living a robotic life where I get up, go to work, literally rush back from work, change my clothes and stay in bed till next morning. This has been going on for 6 months now & I have no clue what to do. I’ve been an extrovert all my life & just the lack of having friends now has pushed me in a really dark place. I literally don’t know who or what I’m ranting to and how this works but it does feel a little better to put it out in the universe.

How to deal with long lasting home sickness?

replies: 1

I’m new to this site and this is my first post so I really hope I’m posting this in the right place. I moved over seas about nine years ago after a huge natural disaster. I felt fine about moving at first since I’d be free from what happened, but now after a few years I’ve started feeling really upset about it and I don’t know if it’s normal to feel sad about it nearly every day or two. I probably cant ever go back to that country due to passport issues and financial reasons and I just feel hopeless so I’m giving up on the idea because I’ve been told it’s childish and that I need to get over it. I just don’t know how to stop feeling so upset about it when I’ve been feeling like this for years. could someone please offer some advice?

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

confused about a relationship replies: 3

Loneliness at School replies: 1

22 year old insecure virgin With no direction in life replies: 1

I have no friends, cannot make friends and am crushingly lonely. Please help. replies: 6

Sex & Anxiety, and a whole bunch of issues replies: 2

I played myself and might soon lose my best friend replies: 1

cant control replies: 1

Problems With Loneliness replies: 6

Height related depression and anxiety replies: 1

How to deal with long lasting home sickness? replies: 1