Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Loneliness and fear of social situations

replies: 4

I know it may not sound like the biggest deal, but over time things keep piling up and the frustration has started to kick in. I never leave the house, I haven't gone out in months, and even if I get the opportunity to do so, the fearful thoughts hold me back so I end up staying at home. Fear of humiliation, fear of being seen alone in public which makes me pretty insecure, fear that I'm going to mess up an interaction etc. The few times that I've been out, even if it's just going shopping by myself I come back feeling really emotionally drained. I love the idea of going out and being around people, it's just very mentally exhausting for me hence why I decide to stay at home. My friends try to make plans sometimes but they tend to hang around boys a lot which I'm not comfortable with, so I've stopped going out with them too. I try to make my own plans but people just end up backing out and they fail. If I do plan to actually go out, it's a big deal and takes weeks of mental preparation which is why it hurts when people cancel plans with me so easily. My parents are also more strict so going anywhere takes a lot of convincing which I really can't be bothered with anymore. So within my friend group I feel outcast in that sense. I can't help but feel a little jealous when I see my peers with social lives. Although I'm still in my teens- in my last year of high school- it pains me to see everyone around me 'blossom', I guess. I mean I've always had so many expectations for my high school years from what others have told me, but my life has been pretty static so far and I don't see it changing anytime soon. Partly because my fear of social situations and the parent situation. I feel like as much as I try to 'assimilate' into the outside world, it's never going to happen. I always feel like I'm confined to my bed, and I feel awful. (For the record, I've discussed having social anxiety symptoms with a therapist before but I haven't had been officially diagnosed with anything, so I don't want to jump the gun and link this to any mental health issues)

Can't enjoy life

replies: 3

I am a student currently in year 11 and this year I have struggled to enjoy and focus on things that I have enjoyed in the past (e.g. reading, playing sports, hanging out with my friends). Its getting harder each day to continue to do all of my required school work and house work and to socialise with others because I don't have the energy or mental strength to do this. I know that this is supposed to pass as thats what everyone tells me but I feel like I'm drowning in stress and anxiety.

Uni/work/life struggles

replies: 1

Hi everyone i have just joined this forum and im having a few struggles in life. I have been diagnosed with depression from the age of 15 , now i am 22 and still take antidepressants. I have 6 months till i graduate from my nursing degree, i have always had high grades, high distinctions. Now i find myself getting credits, barely passing, or not even passing an essay. 8 months ago my partner of 5 years and i broke up. I was in Europe for a holiday, while i was gone he had an argument with my cousin and decided to strangle him. He understood i would leave him for this, so after 6 weeks i came back from my holiday and saw a removal truck at the front of my house, thats when i found out what had happened and it ended there. I dealt with those feelings because i hadnt loved him for some time, he was a terrible partner. Now 8 months later i am still struggling with my depression, i have poor motivation to study, i work alot because i live out of home. But i sit at night sometimes and wonder where i am going, and have this feeling that a man could never love me. I appear very outgoing and happy on the outside, however this is not the case.

You are the happiest person I know.

replies: 4

"I can be surround by a sea of people and still feel utterly alone" People believe that the more friend you have the more likely your are to be happy,I believe though people are wrong.You can be the most popular person on earth but still feel empty and alone even worthless.I can't explain the feeling it like the feeling when you did something really bad and you get that tightness in your chest and for a moment everything around you disappears and you are just focus on that pain.I try to I under all that pain and try to focus and tell myself it was all in my head,then I stop being afraid of the monsters under my bed when I start to realize they where all in my head.And how do you tell someone that you are going mad,it's not really a conversation you bring up at the dinner table.hey I'm depressed"I feel like that why is so bad because you got to fight it alone because its a 'mental illness". I come to school each day and put on a brave face,laugh,smile,talk to try and avoid questions like "are you okay","what wrong","stop acting so depressed".Because the more I do this the more I will convince myself that I'm happy when I'm really not,and I haven't been for a long time.But honesty when people ask if I'm okay I take a deep breath and say "I'm okay just a bit tried," trying to hold back the tears imagination the respond I would of got if I would of said "No" I want up to one of my close teachers to try and ask for help and the conversation want a little like this.Her:"are you okay,you seem really flat lately?"Me:....."I'm okay just tired"Her:"you normal so happy and you been quiet for the last couple of days"Me:"I'm never happy...haha"Her:"yeah!you are like the happiest person I know"Me:"yeah true haha oh well I got to get to class"That when I realized that I fool people so well in to thinking that I'm this happy,in some sort I fooled myself. I'm tried of pretending,but the more I come to school lately without wearing my mask the more questions people will ask. What should I Do?

My Social Anxiety Rant

replies: 4

Hi everyone! I have something I need to get off my chest: I have dealth with the effects of SA coupled with depression as a result of a range of traumatic experiences in my childhood and keep experiencing things that piss me off. Namely how disrespectful people are of my personality type. I am an 18 year old guy who has problems starting and maintaining conversations with literally anyone in any context who I am not friends with. This happens regardless of if it is a super attractice girl or the ugliest and most awkward of guys I speak to. This has effected my ability to keep jobs, friends and family and I am frankly sick of it. Why does this come up now you ask??? Well... Today I was sitting in a lecture by myself because I got there early and whilst people are coming in, a girl I know from a student group whom I have spoken to walks up the stairs and sits next to some of her friends. After five minutes or so of awkwardly acting like I didnt see her and attempt to say hi (which she knew I did see her) she decides to do an awesome thing and she waves and invites me to sit down with her and her friends. We are seated in rows with me at the end next to her with her friends next to her on the other side and we exchange a few words about assignments, etc. we commence class and eventually a five minute break comes around. Half way through this break one of her guy friends next to her just starts laughing. She asks him why he is laughing and he responds with something along the lines of "he is just sitting there..." to which she says "he is alright, leave him alone" and I pretend to not hear this and all is well. The lecture finishes and I try to make a better effort because of how terrible I feel after her friends comment. I leave and now I am here venting. Basically, why do people do this??? Why do people have this need to look at me like I am circus freakshow because I find it hard to start conversations. This type of thing is what makes it worse and makes me more and more anti-social. It happens a lot as I am like this in almost any social context when I am not with my friend. It is what scored me the reputation as the weird kid amongst my peers, my previous work colleagues and these new uni people. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. RANT OVER. Thanks for reading.

I feel so alone in life

replies: 2

I feel extremely alone and sad constantly. Lately so many things have piled up that has made me so upset and not want to be here anymore. my boyfriend broke up with me and its been really tough to try and move on and i really dont know how. I really hate school and have no motivation to go and to put in any effort to do the work. I feel so alone and sad and i have no one to talk to about it. People claim to be there for me and the only thing they can say is "it will be better soon" but its not getting better. I wake every morning so sad and then having to go to school where i dont like anyone and cant stand to be there. I just dont know how to deal with the sadness and how to cope with feeling alone all the time.

Not sure what to do

replies: 4

As the title suggests I really don't know what to do or who to turn to at this point. I'm 21 and lost my mum suddenly 3 years ago. I have a dad and a brother and a dog but she was really all I had. We were inseparable. I was bullied as a child and then again in high school and then again even after school and after losing mum. I struggle with depression, anxiety particularly in social situations, ADHD and after losing mum PTSD. Wonderful right. There are good days and bad days and I do see a psychotherapist who helps a lot and I was until a few months ago medicated for my depression however I stopped with my physiatrists permission as it was beginning to almost make things worse. The reason I'm here is because I've always been and over thinker and it leads me into some dark places and since I've lost mum it's gotten worse and more frequent. I can't stop thinking about everyone else I love dying, I see them dead and then I think that it's such an awful and crazy thing to think that it must mean I secretly want them to die because I was annoyed at them 2 months ago for leaving the milk out or something. Rationally I know that's not true but it's hard to reason with myself when I get into that state. Then I think how I never want to go through the pain of losing someone ever again so it would be easiest if I just killed myself so i wouldn't have to. I hate myself if I ever get mad or annoyed with people I love because I feel like a bad person and that I'm wasting so much time because what if they die tomorrow. Then i further go onto thinking that I don't deserve life because I'm a bad person, I don't deserve to eat because there are starving children in the world and I will go on to punish myself for things that aren't even relative to me. Something could happen in Russia and I will somehow find a way to blame myself for it (I'm being a bit hyperbolic there but you get the drift). My dad is not supportive, my friends don't understand it, they try to but only for 5mins and then they just try distract me/change the subject because they don't want to be sad too they want to have fun and be 21. There's nothing wrong with that, I wish I could be like them and it really bothers me that I'm not - watching people at parties laugh and not have their own voice in their head telling them they don't deserve to live or to continuously see everyone you care about dead. I just want to know how to make it stop or how to deal with it and if it ever gets better? Tara

Uni & work nothing much else

replies: 1

Hey there new to this.. so I moved away from family and friends a couple of years back, was having a lot of fun at first. Made new friends had a fun job, and met my partner. However I started a new job last year and started studying at uni in the field related to my new job. Pay is terrible, so I had to move away from my new friends to be closer to work so I can afford to live. All I do now is work, study and see my partner, I can't afford to drive to see my friends and they don't every want to come see me because I live in a small boring old town where there isn't anything to do. I feel so lonely and have slipped back into depression and all I want to do is quit my job and move back to where I was living a before I started this new job. However it would be a massive step back in my career. I tried medication for 4 months but I had way too many close calls with micro sleeps while driving and have had a bad performance review a work. I don't know what to try next as I can't afford to go to a phycologist/psychiatrist. Even getting to the Drs is tough to get money together. If you had a suggestion of what I can do would be appreciated

Social Anxiety HELP!!!!!ADVICE!!!!!

replies: 1

Hi, Im 16 years old and I think I suffer from social anxiety... whenever I have to go out I always feel nervous and never comfortable anywhere. I always feel like people are watching my every move and judging me. I hate living like this! I wish I could be confident and headstrong like other people and I do try really hard to "pretend" that Im a happy person but Im not. I hate going places by myself and don't really feel comfortable with anyone... I always am stressing when I have conversations with others and nervous about what people are thinking of me. I don't really fit in anywhere! Though I try really hard to be a good friend and am always ready to help someone out. I need help ASAP! I talk to my parents about it, I know they have good intentions but they don't really understand at all! They think hanging out with people regularly will fix the problem.Just like that. I go out for a night. Anxiety issue fixed. But that's not the case. These people are not my type or that friendly towards me but I still try with them and usually Im just worrying the whole night and scared! If I had real friends or people I was comfortable with I would be hanging out every day and I think they would also give me some confidence, but that's not the case! Don't they know that??? They think anyone is better than no one!!! Sometimes when someone is having a party and they know about they will force me to go even though Im in soooooo much inner turmoil about it! They think it will fix me!!!! I wish I could run away at times like that and hop on a train but I cant because Im nervous about going outside or on the train etc. Please note that a train station is 10 mins in walking distance from me. I want to put myself in a mental home because I think I'm going crazy and I really want help!!! But, how do I do that??? Will I be kept there against my will??? Do I have rights there??? Is It nice???? Will they dose me up on meds that make me fat???( I have a phobia of being fat ) I know this all sounds so stupid and silly!!! But please give me some advice!!!! I would really appreciate it!!!!! Thankyou

Defeated

replies: 6

These last weeks have been an absolute nightmare. For starters, I've been diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder, I'm not sure if you would really diagnosed but when I looked at my forms for current significant conditions..it was on there. I feel I might have lost all passion and love for the things I used to love in my life. I used to love going on long walks. Now I walk downtown constantly fearing that a cup or rock is going to hit the back of my head. I can't go out walking without panicking. I keep seeing old school people and even a few bullies who still yell at me whenever they see me. My creative arts course is a nightmare, every time I plan I project my heart races. I'm just so stressed and depressed, I'm so tired of it all. I wish I could change things drastically but I don't have the power to

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Loneliness and fear of social situations replies: 4

Can't enjoy life replies: 3

Uni/work/life struggles replies: 1

You are the happiest person I know. replies: 4

My Social Anxiety Rant replies: 4

I feel so alone in life replies: 2

Not sure what to do replies: 4

Uni & work nothing much else replies: 1

Social Anxiety HELP!!!!!ADVICE!!!!! replies: 1

Defeated replies: 6