Young people

Stuck in an endless loop

replies: 2

I feel so empty inside and like an alien to everyone around me and it always gets me angry and upset just seeing people and groups of friends around me laughing and joking around wishing I could be like that but I can't even keep a damn friendship or... View more

I feel so empty inside and like an alien to everyone around me and it always gets me angry and upset just seeing people and groups of friends around me laughing and joking around wishing I could be like that but I can't even keep a damn friendship or relationship without some bs happening, I feel misunderstood, that everyone's out to get me and looks down on me, I feel so ignored and people at school just see me as some random, weird person. My self-esteem's been pretty high and I'm the fittest and strongest I've been my whole life but I'm doing horrible at school and i can't get myself to focus on studying, homework, etc and I always get low and depressed just thinking about schoolwork because it just reminds me of so much negative things and it's just all gonna come back around and I'm gonna mess up everything at school. And as for the dreams I have in life, I've hardly opened up on them because I feel that people are just gonna bring me down for it and they'll just end up getting crushed. I dunno what I'm doing at this point and don't know how I'll end up in the future

Feeling alone, have a big heavy load on my back

replies: 5

I'm 19 and have always questioned my mental Health. At school I considered my self as a lone wolf, I had many friends but they where always separated by different friend groups, and I was everywhere but nowhere at the same time. At the end of the day... View more

I'm 19 and have always questioned my mental Health. At school I considered my self as a lone wolf, I had many friends but they where always separated by different friend groups, and I was everywhere but nowhere at the same time. At the end of the day I would always feel alone and would be the one to make the effort 70% of the time. By year 12 I was at my peak of athleticism and would spend my days training with a small group of school athletes but always felt "left out and forgotten." That sport season ended and I was detached from them entirely. I would attend parties uninvited and turned to alcohol to find happiness on weekends. I met a beautiful girl at the end of my schooling.I had never wanted someone so badly and it was the first time I felt a connection deeper. She was popular and there where other guys than just me. I had to leave her to go on a years exhange to Brazil and it was the hardest thing, too leave this girl who I had only just won over and fell in love with, someone who filled the emptyness in me. Brazil was exciting but I experienced mind boggling loneliness. I would stare at the ceiling for hours, stressing over what was happening back home, who she was with etc. I'd travel on public transport for hours to get anywhere in a foreign country feeling sad and by the end of 5 months i hit bottom. I was sick in the head and it hit me physically, my hands peeled and my skin went pale. The girl I loved had been seeing other guys and i had stayed loyal to her. When I went out I never enjoyed myself and would wish i was home back in Australia. I had to be drunk to break the sadness. I finally gave up and flew home, after pressure from my parents and friends to stay in Brazil. I ran straight back to this girl who also went through distress when I was gone. It's hard to blame her, she was only 16, but she caused a lot of pain. She was also my only remedy. I'm still with her. She's the only one that really cares for me. My relationship with my family is very distant. I'm at uni now and I've made few friends, I barely go out on weekends and spend some days not even saying a word. Uni is like carrying a heavy weight up a hill, I feel so bogged and stressed about it yet I spend no time studying. Even when I do get invited to things I often feel like it's too big of an effort. I hope someone can respond as I feel I need to get somethings off my chest. I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone I know, even my girlfriend.

Homeless or depression

replies: 2

I have suffered from depression and anxiety in the past but have been off my medication for over a year and have been my happiest self recently. Although, my mother has told me that if I don't go see a psychiatrist for bipolar disorder and admit that... View more

I have suffered from depression and anxiety in the past but have been off my medication for over a year and have been my happiest self recently. Although, my mother has told me that if I don't go see a psychiatrist for bipolar disorder and admit that "something is wrong with me" I have to move out. Her reasons for diagnosing me with bipolar is that I am a little overweight, eat a lot of sweets, watch tv when I'm not studying and apparently "split-hairs". She has spoken to my brother and sister about it and "they have all come to the conclusion that I must be in denial of my new condition". I do not think their is anything wrong with me. I know what depression feels like, I know what anxiety feels like and I know that I am in a good stage of my life right now. I don't want to have to admit to a condition I don't have in order to stay in my home. I feel like if I was to do that I would be going back in my steps to be where I am today. I don't think I'm mentally ill, I just think I'm a lazy 19 year old. Yes I don't vacuum the house, or empty the dishwasher without being reminded 3 times. But it's just because I don't think about it. She thinks I'm always mean to her, and, in some cases I am. But it's hard to be nice and chirpy towards someone when just yesterday they were telling you your fat or that your selfish. What should I do?

I don't get along with my mother and I don't feel happy living at home

replies: 2

I still live at home and mums always at home as she has no job. We don't have a friendly relationship. If I was ever to open up to her, she would use this information on me to make digs at me in the future. Eg if I said I was having problems with a f... View more

I still live at home and mums always at home as she has no job. We don't have a friendly relationship. If I was ever to open up to her, she would use this information on me to make digs at me in the future. Eg if I said I was having problems with a friend because they were being rude at a party etc.. if in the future we argued she'd say maybe it's not your friend who's in the wrong it's you. So we barely talk. She says little positive things about me, only very often hurls abuse. I am always the one in the wrong. My sister will take my things without asking when I tell her not to, yet I am the selfish one who can't share. Yet Mum will get angry at my sister when she takes her own stuff. She lashed out not long ago and smacked me. I was stunned. I really struggled after having a horrible tonsillectomy and I felt genuinely depressed after a month of being in pain and not being able to do much. I was exhausted and stayed in my room for a lot of the time. And then to have her smack me during that time over something stupid was heartbreaking. It wasn't a big smack, just a smack on my shoulder but nothing I would expect from a mother, in 2017 at least. I couldn't imagine getting so angry to smack someone. I understand I was probably a nuisance during that time but for my mother to not understand. I know she's had depression too so I would expect she could understand how to better handle situations like that. I feel very alone at home. I can never have a civil conversation with her. Every effort I make turns into a lecture about everything that's wrong about me. I know I'm not perfect, but to constantly hear this takes a toll. I feel I am not myself and I feel worthless. I sketch - and when I'm with my aunties they're so supportive and encouraging of this passion and telling me ways I should use my talent. I wish my mum was like this. I remember shortly after finishing uni I had been working on this one drawing for about ten hours and she comes and sits down next to me and says this is great - but you should be applying for jobs. I had been applying, but these are the types of things that kill my motivation. I question whether I am inadequate. I would like to think this isn't true and my friends at least make me believe it might not be.. but I have no confidence in myself. My older sisters were fortunate to grow up in a more positive home. I am grateful for what she's given me - education etc, but I feel a loss of love. I feel stuck.

Feeling unwanted

replies: 3

Hello everyone For a long time i have always felt unwanted and unsupported in my family. Its not something that i am just feeling either. It is the case. It is always with my Dad to. I feel like he always attacks and picks on me the most. I don't kno... View more

Hello everyone For a long time i have always felt unwanted and unsupported in my family. Its not something that i am just feeling either. It is the case. It is always with my Dad to. I feel like he always attacks and picks on me the most. I don't know whether it is because he generally hates me or because i look like my mother. Or both. He always treats me like i'm stupid and can't do anything either. Especially with university. My sister was always good with university, good grades and an overall good experience. But because i am not on the same level as her he treats me like i'm an idiot and will never graduate. University is stressful enough and i feel like i need support from him and told that i can do it, rather than always being put down all the time. It hurts. He always acts like he knows everything even though he has never been to university and is always on my case so much about being stupid that I get so stressed and panicky. My siblings are like that too. They always agree with him and tell me to shut up because they know he will just yell some more. No one is ever on my side. He always attacks me the most. Even if my siblings do the same thing, he doesn't treat them as bad. All i get is shut up. It makes me think sometimes that i'm not his kid. I mean why would he hate me so much. I know this might not be the case, as my mum wasn't like that, but its got me to a point that i really want to be tested to see if i am his child. My sister to doesn't support me. Because she was so good at university, she treats me like i'm an idiot and won't accomplish grades. Just because i am not as smart as her doesn't mean that i can't do it. I mean i worked hard to get where i am. but you won't know it with the way they treat me. I just don't know how to deal with him and always feeling so unwanted and unsupported all the time.

Dissociation & Avoidance: Unresolved Traumas Resurfaces

replies: 5

Hello, I have a lot of unresolved traumas that has snowballed, due to dismissive tendencies as a coping mechanism. I now suffer greatly as the result of bottling things inside for years and its taking a piece of me everyday, mentally, spiritually and... View more

Hello, I have a lot of unresolved traumas that has snowballed, due to dismissive tendencies as a coping mechanism. I now suffer greatly as the result of bottling things inside for years and its taking a piece of me everyday, mentally, spiritually and physically. I am terrified of my emotions, I'm not comfortable feeling at all and this has made me to lose touch of myself, I can't have healthy relationships with anyone and I go through extremes from perfecting and over analysing life events or completely involve myself in self-sabotaging behaviours. I still suffer from PSTD symptoms, and now it has manifested into other mental illnesses, making it more difficult to deal with. I honestly want to get better, I want to be able to be completely comfortable with myself again, but I don't remember what it is like to been in my authentic self. I have also avoided going to see a psychologist for years, and only now do I realised it is because I don't want to talk about my traumas. But now I realised that I have to. I don't know what kind of help I need to seek (because I have so many issues) and I don't want to go to a wrong specialist (trust issues). Who do I go to if I can't remember some of the details/traumas? Some of the traumas/problems that I have bottled up and needs help with healing and coping: Childhood traumas, sexual abuse and physical abuse death of my mother (who attempted suicide many times, and her succession was completely unpredicted because I thought she was getting better) PSTD, Anxiety, Depression severe mood swings, indecisiveness, avoidance of social activities and loss of motivation, low self-esteem, self-worth and a masked personality of false confidence. I don't know how to cope with it other than running away from it, and I don't know who to ask for help. If there is any recommendations or tips, advice, even to share that someone else is going through this as well, I would really appreciate that.

Lost

replies: 3

Help. Not sure where to start. Ive struggled with anxiety my whole life. Im an extrovert and find that interactions with other people determine my moods. since leaving school Ive always struggled with people now being busy with work etc and feel like... View more

Help. Not sure where to start. Ive struggled with anxiety my whole life. Im an extrovert and find that interactions with other people determine my moods. since leaving school Ive always struggled with people now being busy with work etc and feel like no one makes any effort with me. Ive had falling outs with friends and over the last few months I've been incredibly depressed and anxious. It started with a split with my boyfriend and feeling like it was all my fault. I was very comfortable in the relationship that I didn't know how to be alone. I had fights with friends over this period of time as well and they haven't been supportive of me and never understand my point of view and always make me feel like I'm a horrible person and I'm finding that I'm starting to hate myself. I have recently got back together with boyfriend.During the time we were apart i was saying and doing a lot of things because of the anger and hurt I was feeling. Now that we are back together I'm constantly having battles in my head because I feel like I could ruin the relationship for a 2nd time at any moment. I won't see him for a few days and I'm constantly over thinking things and worrying about what he's thinking and that at any moment it could be over. due to falling outs with my friends I feel like I have no one to turn to and I don't want to be known as 'that depressed , attention seeking girl'. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning and am feeling very unmotivated. I am on medication and have been for a few years now but I eventually would like to get off it. I was always known as the happy and enthusiastic girl in school and was never someone who took life seriously and was able to manage my anxieties. . I see people on social media who go out with groups of friend and enjoy themselves every weekend without a care in the world and I envy it. I always check in on people and would do anything for anyone and I just want people to do the same for me. I just want to enjoy life and be able to feel normal

Anxiety about my relationship

replies: 1

Hello everyone, i have never posted about my life on any of these kind of websites, but I have heard a lot about beyond blue and finally decided to reach out for some advice. I just need some non bias opinions on my situation. So basically, me and my... View more

Hello everyone, i have never posted about my life on any of these kind of websites, but I have heard a lot about beyond blue and finally decided to reach out for some advice. I just need some non bias opinions on my situation. So basically, me and my boyfriend just got back together recently after being broken up for about 2-3 months. We had had a really good relationship beforehand, but then the 'honeymoon' kind of ended when we both went back to school (seperate schools). I started to become impatient as he didn't seem to have time for me (he was usually choosing friends over me, and was very dedicated to his sport) I was getting tired of following him around and was starting to feel quite lonely and found myself thinking of myself with other people and if it would be better. Recently before that he had gone on a holiday and came back to tell me he had cheated (unintentionally). At this point near the end of our relationship I was feeling lonely and sad but was afraid to end things. He was getting frustrated because I couldn't voice why I was feeling this way, when I found out later it's because the trust was gone, and there wAsnt much left holding us together. We ending things mutually, and moved on. We still talked now and then just over messages, and we're talking off and on for about 2 months. We started "talking" again and flirting after about 2-3 months. We had a few fights during this period but somehow kept coming back together. We both admitted we missed each other and still loved each other. We decided we wanted to try again and make things work this time. I was really happy at first, then my anxiety made me second guess my feelings and attraction toward him. It passed and I was again happy that we were trying again. Everything was going well for another two weeks, and now my anxiety is back. I second guess his feelings for me, my feelings for him, if I'll get hurt and every time he talks about going on holiday or going to a party I get anxious because it triggers that memory of when he cheated. I know he would never want to intentionally hurt me, and I no from the facts that he loves me, but I can't seem to get it through my head. My anxiety also makes me feel ugly and worthless and I don't want to talk to him about it as I don't want to be attention seeking. Please give me advice on what I should do or how to manage this. thankyou in advance:)

friends and anxiety

replies: 3

Conflict has aways been a scary thing for me. I've always been an anxious person, constantly overthinking things to the point of feeling depressed and sad. I create situations in my head before they've even happened and I get so paranoid that I convi... View more

Conflict has aways been a scary thing for me. I've always been an anxious person, constantly overthinking things to the point of feeling depressed and sad. I create situations in my head before they've even happened and I get so paranoid that I convince myself somebody is angry at me when in reality, they usually aren't. The minute my friend doesn't sound 100% cheerful or interested when speaking to me I immediately jump to conclusions and think that it's something to do with me, or something I've done. I am obsessed (my life pretty much revolves around it) with making sure we remain on good terms because every time we have been in a fight, it's usually her who has started it and honestly, it has really traumatised me. I am an incredibly sensitive person, so it takes me a while to get over things that others can forget about quickly and easily. I feel sick when I think about those times we were fighting, or the possibility of another one arising. I have to get over this because I know conflict is a part of life, but it's really hard for me to stop overthinking or caring. I need a way to stop thinking people are always mad at me, it makes me feel so scared and vulnerable. Does anybody else have this? Or have any tips?

Low again, body image - tips?

replies: 7

Hi everyone Lately I have reached a low point again in what I call my "cycle" of depression and anxiety. This year all together has been a stressful one seeing as I lost my grandfather in March and my mother has been undergoing chemotherapy since May... View more

Hi everyone Lately I have reached a low point again in what I call my "cycle" of depression and anxiety. This year all together has been a stressful one seeing as I lost my grandfather in March and my mother has been undergoing chemotherapy since May to treat her breast cancer. This has contributed to my stress. My second round of exams are coming up soon, but my school has still decided to give my year group assessments every 2 weeks which doesn't leave much time for relaxing or exam study. As soon as I finish one assessment, there is another one to prepare for. But I suppose thats what school is like for an ATAR student. I have never enjoyed the social aspect of school and it makes me very depressed and anxious because I often feel that I am more mature than the other people in my year (not to sound arrogant) but I am not as interested in chasing after boys or partying every weekend like most are, and the drama is something I don't like to involve myself in. Body image is getting to me recently, and while I have not been happy with my body for a few years now, I was doing so well lately. I started doing hardcore exercise and eating healthily, I was excited to start seeing results in my body and I felt as though something had to change as a result of my hard work. Nothing has changed yet. Suddenly I have lost control again. The thought of exercise outside makes me incredibly anxious, and I hate myself even for eating anything containing dairy as I worry it will contribute to weight gain. I try to stay away from meat because I have a fear of food poisoning and my diet has become so restricted that I hate myself even for eating bread. I have cut out dairy, most meat, processed sugar, I limit myself to one piece of bread a day (sometimes the exception of 2) I feel ugly all the time compared to my friends who always seem thinner and prettier than me, they don't have acne like I do and I feel like they know I am the "ugly" friend. My closest friend is also weight conscious and I constantly feel like I have to do as much exercise as she does, or she will "win" (stupid, I know). I shouldn't compare myself to others, but its nearly impossible not to. I am constantly bloated to the point where I look pregnant, and I am tired of resenting myself but it is so hard not to. I'm sure this is a typical teenage girl problem, but it makes me so self conscious to the point where I feel depressed about who I am. I'm wasting time hating myself but don't know how to stop.

Pinned discussions

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

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All discussions

Stuck in an endless loop

replies: 2

Feeling alone, have a big heavy load on my back

replies: 5

Homeless or depression

replies: 2

I don't get along with my mother and I don't feel happy living at home

replies: 2

Feeling unwanted

replies: 3

Dissociation & Avoidance: Unresolved Traumas Resurfaces

replies: 5

Lost

replies: 3

Anxiety about my relationship

replies: 1

friends and anxiety

replies: 3

Low again, body image - tips?

replies: 7

Young people

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

Stuck in an endless loop replies: 2

Feeling alone, have a big heavy load on my back replies: 5

Homeless or depression replies: 2

I don't get along with my mother and I don't feel happy living at home replies: 2

Feeling unwanted replies: 3

Dissociation & Avoidance: Unresolved Traumas Resurfaces replies: 5

Lost replies: 3

Anxiety about my relationship replies: 1

friends and anxiety replies: 3

Low again, body image - tips? replies: 7

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

Stuck in an endless loop

replies: 2

Feeling alone, have a big heavy load on my back

replies: 5

Homeless or depression

replies: 2

I don't get along with my mother and I don't feel happy living at home

replies: 2

Feeling unwanted

replies: 3

Dissociation & Avoidance: Unresolved Traumas Resurfaces

replies: 5

Lost

replies: 3

Anxiety about my relationship

replies: 1

friends and anxiety

replies: 3

Low again, body image - tips?

replies: 7