anxious about having anxiety..

[smlk]

I've always been a shy person, but lately it's just becoming worse. I'm 22 and my fears have stopped me doing half of the normal things adults should be doing, I know my limits now and know what I can and can't do and I won't try and do things I cant. I can't get a new job because I'm terrified, I'll just cry in an interview, I can't fly on a plane without medication, I can't meet my partners parents, I won't leave the house without someone (or my dog) with me, i can't talk on the phone to someone who isn't my partner, boss or my mother. I'm also very paranoid. I'm disappointed in myself that I've made these limits and won't cross them, having a dead end job gives me more anxiety, it's a never ending cycle. I also don't go to the doctors unless I'm in a lot of pain - so going to get help isn't an option. At this point I don't know what to do. It's getting worse - I would love to get help but can't make myself talk to a doctor. What's the first step? 

[Zeal]

Hi smlk,

I was awkwardly shy during my childhood and teens. My shyness started improving when I was about 19. I’m now 22. I’ve sought treatment for OCD, which I was first diagnosed with at 13; for depression in my teens; and for an eating disorder when I was 19. I’ve seen my fair share of doctors and specialists. Sometimes this is the only way to stop the vicious cycle of mental illness. It seems as though you haven’t been diagnosed with a mental illness.

Avoiding going to the doctor is a hurdle you will hopefully overcome. I can relate to avoidance. I’ve been avoiding getting my driver’s licence. I have a fear of actually getting behind the wheel. As I have been mentally happy and healthy for the past year and a half, I don’t really want to push myself. My parents have resigned to this fact for now.

In order for you to see a GP, you’ll need to have support. Your partner or Mum could make an appointment for you, drive you there, and stay in the waiting room until the end of your appointment. This way, you won’t have a means of backing out. If you don’t want to physically go to a clinic, you could request that a doctor come to your home. Being in a familiar environment could make the consultation less anxiety-arousing.

However, if you really can’t or won’t talk to a doctor, you could seek help online. Coming to this forum was a great first step. You could search the Internet for online counselling services – the beyond blue website is a great starting point. The turning point in my life was when I realised I wanted to study psychology at university. I realised in 2013 that I want to be a psychologist. If you can get over your mental blockages, you will have grown as a person, and maybe have a new perspective on what you want in life. This is what happened for me.

It’s great that you have a partner to support you, as well as your mother. If you don’t mind me asking, are you able to talk openly to them about your fears and anxiety? If you have fears and negative thoughts which are unexpressed (and so aren’t dealt with), your anxiety won’t improve, and you are also likely to experience uncomfortable bodily symptoms such as muscle tightness and indigestion.

I hope you are able to make an appointment. You deserve to have help for your anxiety and fear.

Take care,

SM