Anxiety & Panic

[nathan549]

Hey guys I'm new here.

I have never had a problem with anxiety in my life until a few months ago. I was really enjoying the last 2 years of my life as i was studying what i wanted to study and just having fun in general.

It started a few months ago, i was just on the computer and i had some neck pain that traveled down to my sternum and spread across my chest, then all of a sudden i began to get really hot and sweaty, heart was racing, couldn't breathe and i felt like i was passing out without actually passing out. I went to hospital that night because i really thought something wasn't right. All the tests i had came back fine.

Since then i have had reoccurring symptoms, it started with not being able to breathe sometimes then it just progressed to full blown panic attacks. I went to my doctor and he said he thought it was anxiety, so he put me on medication. Well i was on it for a week and it was the worst week i have ever experienced. Severe depersonalisation/derealisation, felt like i couldn't move, strange thoughts and fear off losing control and hurting someone. I stopped it after a week and I've been off it for about 2-3 weeks. I felt great when i stopped it, didn't have any panic attacks and didn't feel very anxious at all for about 2 weeks, suddenly its slowly making its way back in.

My symptoms now are only difficulties breathing, every now and again, but last night i had reoccurring thoughts that i was losing control and was going to hurt someone. Now obviously at the time it was distressing but i know i would never do something like that and its just the anxiety making me fear losing control of myself. I know i have anxiety and i know that nothing is going to happen to me, I'm not going to die or go crazy but its so hard to keep all these symptoms at bay. Nothing triggers off the symptoms, there is no pattern it just happens randomly.

I just find it so stressful that all this started from that one night when i was on my computer. I don't know what happened then or what caused me to panic (because I've never done it in my life) so its really irritating that i feel like my life is now being controlled by this anxiety. 

Trying to go and see a psychologist but the earliest time to make an appointment was in two months (have a month left now).

At the moment I'm not taking any medication because i feel like it will just mask the symptoms and not fix the root of the problem. 


beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[AGrace]

Hi nathan,

Welcome to the forums. It sounds like you've had a challenging few months. I'm glad you've chosen to reach out here and get some support from others who possibly have a shared experience, or can understand what you're going through.

The most unfortunate thing about panic attacks is that they sometimes come on without warning or reason. So I can imagine that you're experiencing secondary anxiety. Anxiety about the Anxiety. It truly can be a very vicious cycle.

I'm glad that you mentioned that you've made an appointment for a Psychologist. I'm surprised however by the waiting period. Are there no other Psychologists near you? Is there a reason why you've chosen to wait for this specific Psychologist?

A Psychologist will be able to take you through some skills to better manage the symptoms of anxiety, and hopefully reduce it's grip on you over time. Did you get a referral to the Psychologist from the GP? Did the GP have anything to say about the harming thoughts? These could be part of the anxiousness, or they could be a symptom of something else altogether, so be sure to speak to the Psychologist about them. I know what you mean about not wanting to act on them, that's great.

I'm not sure if you would like some tips while you are awaiting seeing the Pschologist? These are some of the things that have worked for me in the past:

Mindfulness, Guided Muscle Relaxation (take a look at "8 minutes to calm" on youtube), Breathing Exercises, Exercise, Acceptance & Commitment Therapy. I'll leave it to you to google these things. There is also a lot of information about Panic and Anxiety on the Centre for Clinical Intervention Website.

I understand your thoughts behind the medication. You're right in that sometimes medication just takes away the symptoms and not necessarily the underlying problem. It's my opinion that medication is designed to alleviate some of the symptoms so that you can be in a better mindset to take on some of the skills to manage the symptoms on your own. It sounds like you had a very rough reaction to the medication you were prescribed. In case you would like to give medication another chance, I wanted to reassure you that there is a wide variety available, and that sometimes one won't sit weel with you, but then a different type works wonders. The other thing with meds is that they make us feel much worse before we feel better. It takes about 6-8 weeks to feel their full effect.

Hope to hear back from you.

AGrace

[nathan549]

Thanks for replying AGrace,

That is honestly what i think has happened with me, the whole thing started off with a panic attack and i think the anxiety is about having those symptoms again and of course when the symptoms come on the anxiety is worse so its like chasing your tail.

My GP recommended the psychologist as it is at the same practice where my doctor is which is very close by to my house, so its easy to get to and the psychologist has a very good recommendation.

I haven't been to see my GP again yet, but he did say that during panic/anxiety that there is a big fear of losing control, so i put that hand in hand with the thoughts. Its only ever happened twice and both happened late at night when i was tired (tiredness can also make anxiety worse). Its really the fear that I'm going to go crazy and do something stupid which is scary to go through, but then i realise that if i was truly going crazy i wouldn't have a fear of it cause it would seem normal. But i think it started when i took the meds as one of the side effects was worsening of anxiety which definitely happened and that was the first time i ever thought of anything like that. So when it happened it terrified me, so i think thats why it happened again because i was obviously scared of having those thoughts. As i said earlier the root of the cause i think is just being scared of the panic symptoms happening again!

Yeah thats how my doctor has explained it to me and i think i will try other medications and see how i go! At the start i rejected any medications when he diagnosed me with anxiety because i thought "oh i can just deal with this" and for a week or so i did, then it came back so i tried the medication which as i said before just did not agree with me whatsoever and when i stopped that i felt pretty good for a further 2 weeks or so but now the anxiety/panic is coming in again. Very exhausting to say the least.

[AGrace]

Definitely sounds like you've got yourself into a bit of a spin cycle in the washing machine:( I hope you will also look into some of the helpful coping strategies, as these give more of a longer term solution.

Please keep posting here, and if you haven't done so already browse through some of the other threads under anxiety or treatments, you might find some useful suggestions from others, or even some discussions you'd like to join.

AGrace