I suffer from major depressive & panic disorder, hypochondria, social anxiety, OCD & agoraphobia, possible bipolar, last 7 months things have been difficult to deal with, especially with the anxiety/hypochondria side of things. having panic attacks for the last 7 months, at first I was having panic attacks everyday, I cried once it started to get worse, I'd cry everytime I had one. It made my depression worse- that affected my everyday life, I didn't get enjoyment out of anything I did anymore. Unfortunately, I smoke cigarettes and they are usually something that can make me happy (it shouldn't I know) but those weren't doing anything anymore. It got to a point where leaving the house was a issue (and still is) in last 3 months the panic attacks have been less consistent being prescribed with an anti-depressant that helps with anxiety aswell. Yet they're still there and I feel like im going backwards. Although I do have my good days where I feel as though nothing could get me down and I don't have the physical symptoms that send me into panic, but the next day could be different, I can never prepare myself enough for the next day as I never know how I'm going to be feeling.I'm wanting to know if anyone else gets these horrible physical symptoms.. Some of them I get are: heart palpitations for long periods of time, when laying down also, tingling or stabbing pains in face and back of neck, horrible muscle aches in the shoulder/neck area, sharp pains in the ribs, the feeling of something heavy sitting on your chest and/or like somethings trying to escape, pin feeling in chest, numbness in the feet, sometimes I get a whole dead arm, or leg, numbness in face, digestive issues constipation, weird feeling in ears or ringing or weird sounds, eye twitching, muscle twitching- almost like a muscle spasm, pain in eye balls, random pain in fingers- feels like it's in a bone almost, back pain,
(I have been to the doctor for a lot of these symptoms and have had a lot of tests done and I'm basically completely healthy, so i know it's health anxiety) all these symptoms don't happen at once they're just ones I can remember now and when I get any of these pains I'll have a panic attack straight away.. I also tremble and shake sometimes for quite some time of the day, that also makes me panicky and I'm absolutely obsessed with checking my pulse and it drives me insane. I just feel so alone as everyone around me doesn't understand the toll this takes on me,
I'm also wanting to talk about how I don't feel much emotion, like when I'm talking to my sister and she's telling me her problems it's like I don't wanna hear it, I don't show any emotion or empathy, I can't help it as horrible as it sounds. I sometimes even get agitated listening to it. It's very hard for me to feel emotion and empathy and form friendships and relationships- I don't date because of this, I can't really get close to people because I can't connect or converse with them, I just wanted to see if anyone else has these feelings of basically nothingness, sometimes I feel sad or depressed or happy but a lot of the time I just feel nothing and such Cold emotions.
