Anxiety beginning to take over my life

[Jam94]

Hi Everyone, 

Ive never posted on here / done anything like this before but its time i did.

I have been suffering from anxiety for many years but have never had the courage to do anything about it.

Its gotten to the point where i cant sign piece of paper in front of someone without feeling like my whole world is falling apart. I go to extremes to aviod any situation that might bring on my uncontrollable feelings of anxiety.

I've tried many techniques to try and calm myself down in these situations  but have now accepted that i have absolutely no control over my anxiety once it gets to a certain level.

I have now started to make life decisions based on avoiding my fears. Its really starting to make me feel completly underwhelmed and hopeless. 

I have gone to the doctors many times but can never get the courage to say something about my anxiety. Doctors happen to be one of the many things that make me very anxious and i feel like i cant express the extent of what im really feeling to them or even bring it up at all.

Any tips for expressing issues to your doctor would be appreciated. 

Thanks, J 

[Neil_1]

Hi there Jam

Firstly I’d like to extend a warm welcome to you to Beyond Blue and I’d also like to thank you heaps for coming here and providing your post.  You also should extend your arm around to your back and then perform the act called a “pat on the back” – because I say “bloody good on you” for coming here and posting because you see, you summoned up the courage and you came and did it.  That can be a huge step for so many of us.  I suspect that was a huge step for you and I hope that you can acknowledge this as such.

You know what;  you aren’t alone with the nervousness/anxiety feeling of signing your name in front of someone else.  I mean, they stand there and you feel as though their eyes are boring in on your hand holding the pen and waiting (possibly willing) for you to make a mistake.  When we know deep down this is not the case, but that’s how our minds are affected – what then happens is (well for me) a slow and disjointed effort;  where I stop half way through and have to think what comes next.  And yes, it IS embarrassing, but what can we do about it – if possible, I try to take the piece of paper to another place and sign then and bring it back.

With regard to your anxiety, your feelings and your expression of them perhaps to your doctor, my suggestion would be to write it down.  Maybe in dot point form for how you’re feeling – what concerns you, just get a list going – and then take that to your dr and present them with that.  I find that works for me – but in a different respect;  I write a list of things I need to cover during that appointment, as a memory jogger, so I don’t leave and think later, “D’OH, oh yeah, I wanted to ask about that!”

Would love to hear back from you.

Neil

[SeanM92]

Hey there, and welcome to the forum.

something that grabbed me right away is you saying that you have accepted you have no control over your anxieties. You should never have to feel that way. As hard as it can get you shouldn't ever feel to ashamed or embarrassed to seek help because you are never the only one to suffer. Its common to be afraid to seek out help but in that fight you also give yourself the power to fight back against it and regain some control of your anxieties. 

As Neil said, i do believe that writing down your feelings can help a lot, not only to get it out of your system but if you go to the doctor, its a lot easier to explain then to try and say it of the top of your head.

Try and remember your not alone and take a chance and tell your doctor because it can make a world of difference.

Take care mate and good luck

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Jam94,

Welcome to BeyondBlue and thanks for reaching out.

I'm sorry to hear that you've been having some anxiety and so pleased that you want to go to the GP and talk about your anxiety with them.  This is a really bold step but it's a good step in the right direction.

Here are some general tips which might help - feel free to pick and choose what might work for you:

- Bring someone with you to help advocate for you.  Sometimes having conversations can be really confronting, so bring a friend or family who can talk with you, for you or even just hold your hand.  Sometimes even just the presence of someone who 'has your back' can be incredibly supportive.  It's also okay if you want to let them talk for you.

- If you want to talk, it might help to try to plan ahead what you want to say.  Some people may find that it helps to write it down and rehearse it to help them feel more confident when they get in the clinic.  It's even okay if you want to write it down and bring the letter in to show your GP.  Remember what you have to say is totally valid so the GP will make time for you.

- Find a GP that you trust.  Do you trust your GP?  Have you been seeing them for a while?  Some people find that they have certain GP's that are better with issues about mental health, or find it easier to talk to women instead of men (or vice versa).

- Book a long appointment.  I only say this as then you don't have to worry about your GP concluding the session early and it will give you time to talk.

- Bring a notepad.  Sometimes when people are flustered or anxious they might forget what the GP says - so writing things down can help you remember them later.  

- Reward yourself afterwards.  Talking to the doctor about anxiety can create anxiety, so maybe you could plan a little treat after - like watching your favourite movie or having your favourite snack.  Having something to look forward to can make the process a little easier.

Hope this helps a little.  I know that it's uncomfortable, but then you can get the help you need.

Take care,