Am I apathetic?

[JN77]

Hi,

I'm just kinda asking this out of curiosity.

I find it hard to show sympathy. Like, almost impossible. I normally just pretend. Years of practice have perfected this skill. It makes me feel dirty afterwards though, if you know what I mean.

When everyone else is genuinely caring, I actually feel nothing at all. Examples are funerals, pet deaths, injury, cancer etc.

It's like not caring about anyone, but of course, I do. They're family.

I moved out of home (I'm 16 btw), and I don't miss anyone or anything either. 0% homesick. In fact, I haven't even called my parents. It's like those 16 years in that house never happened. Damn weird.

I also find laughing or being excited really difficult. Faking laughter is harder than faking "I'm sorry to hear that."

You think I'm seriously messed up, just a little messed up, or is all this normal?

Cheers

[Zeal]

Hey JN77,

Welcome to the forum!

This apathy that you've described could be attributed to a mental health condition. Online, there is no way of accurately knowing what that is, but seeing your doctor (GP) can help you find out. You may be referred by your doctor to a mental health professional. Make a long GP appointment so that there is enough time to talk. Because you are 16, your parents will not be told anything, so everything you say to your doctor is confidential. Printing out your first forum post to show the doctor could help the session get started.

If you don't mind me asking, why did you move out of home? Do you like living away from home?

It would be great to hear back from you 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

[JN77]

Hi Zeal and thanks

I don't think I'm mad or crazy, or have a mental illness or anything. Seeing a GP is a bit overkill.

I'm just pretty indifferent about most stuff, but looking back I think I always have been.

I had to move out of home to be closer to TAFE for study. I board with my aunt and uncle. I love city life, and it's like I've always lived here. Moving from a tiny country town to a city I was expecting some adjustment or "climatization" but there was none of that. I quite literally walked out the door and didn't look back. It's pretty ungrateful really, to just walk away and not give a damn about who and what you left behind. I love my family a lot, but I don't miss them at all.

The same goes for friends. Friends I'm really close to can literally die and I wouldn't blink an eyelid. It's happened before. I care about them, but I'm not sure if I actually do. Reality and facade become blurred here.

Anyway, it doesn't really matter. What's important is that I'm happy where and who I am 🙂

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi JN77,

Welcome to the forums!

Apathetic is defined as a lack of feeling, interest and concern;- and that's something that you've probably shown in a few of your examples. Lots of people have apathy towards things; that doesn't necessarily make them 'messed up'.

Zeal mentioned about seeing a Doctor to see if it's related to a mental health condition, as lots of people with mental health conditions can experience apathy. I guess the question then becomes - how bad is it, and how much does it affect your life? From your post it seems like things are going pretty well for you; but maybe if you become concerned about it and how it might be affecting your relationships with others in the future (especially in a work environment where sensitivity can be important) it might be worth looking into more.