ADHD and Losing Things

[Guest_53949320]

I'm mid 40s and have been diagnosed ADHD, though still sceptical.

However one symptom is I constantly lose things. The other day my expensive earbuds, and today realising that I can't find my laptop, which has a lot of info on the hard drive that I haven't backed up. I forget things on a daily basis but I'm really starting to get concerned that something else is going on. 

Medication just isn't helping. My life is very disorganised and I take ages to complete tasks if at all. 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

We have much in common. 

I'm 68yo. In 1987 I was diagnosed with acute anxiety which commenced my belief there was more to this mental health issue than that. In 2003 I was diagnosed with ADHD and commenced research on it and took medication. After 12 mdifferent meds over a 6 year period with none of them working I sought a 2nd opinion. 

A psychiatrist interviewed me and luckily he had a 2nd one sitting behind him during his lunch break- a bonus. At the end his diagnosis was not ADHD but bipolar2, dysthymia (low mood constant depression), clinical depression and lingering anxiety. I was prescribed appropriate meds and my life turned around mostly. Then this year still facing challenges a psychologist observed that I likely had aspergers high functioning under the autism spectrum. Those illnesses accounted for my creativity, out of the square thinking and inventiveness, poetry, ultra sensitivity to noise and criticisms and overall quirkiness especially difficulty in clubs with working with people. I also have a very poor short memory.

Short memory is a real challenge because like other mental health challenges people dont see the disability so they have no understanding. Few people have the level of empathy to understand, its why this forum is so busy because bird of a feather flock together. You approach to poor memory needs special planning. Routine development like leaving your keys only on a key rack at all times, leaving shopping bags at the door so you have to pick them up to open the door will prevent forgetting them, utilising your mobile phone alarms (both clock alarm and calendar alarms with 10 minutes, one hour and the day before- alarms all set for appointments, rubbish night, computer back up  etc. Setting up direct debit for Govt bills like rates, water and power is fine but not for things like internet firewall as they tend to not cancel them when requested causing time issues to rectify. My ear buds? I only have them when lying in bed and when I go to sleep they go into their charger, if in the lounge etc I use a cheap ear piece with lead and plug. All these I do.

Stress can effect our memory so measures you can take include changes of profession, environment (city to country), freedom hobbies- motorcycles, sports car, camping, relaxation is so important and removing toxic people from your life. 

The important thing is to not to dismiss the seriousness of your mental health and also make yourself your priority. A 2nd opinion is a good idea on diagnosis.

I hope that helps and reply anytime.

TonyWK

[Scared]

You need a " go to box "   This is my invention   One box say in living room and one box say in bedroom.   The idea is these boxes are strategically placed in your home and everytime you have something in your hand you drop it into one of the boxes.  Then you only have one or two places the lost items can be.

[therising]

The warmest of welcomes to you

Tony mentions a couple of key factors, 1)the importance of being medicated for the right condition and 2)the need for solid structure. These are 2 keys that could unlock a lot things in regard to the way forward. I think nature and nurture are another couple of key factors. 'What is in my nature and how do I nurture what's in my nature?'. Kind of along the lines of 'Am I naturally a bit of a freestyler in life? Is it in my nature to just wing it, while enjoying a sense of freedom and liberation? Do I tend to nurture the freestyler in me? How is nurturing that aspect of myself now interfering with my day to day function? Is it time to begin nurturing/bringing to life the part of parts of me that are responsible for serious structure and self discipline?'.

Underlying factors for poor memory can be plenty. While my 21yo daughter faces some of the challenges that can come with ADHD, remembering things is one of those challenges. She puts it down to issues that relate to a lack of focus. When the mind is hyperactive and not fully focused on one thing at a time, if that one thing involves being fully conscious of where keys are placed, it can be a problem. Anxiety can be another focus related issue. If anxiety relates to stress and focus on past or future events, the brain won't see now as a priority, when it comes to focus. Another focus issue can relate to being a major daydreamer. If it's in our nature to find what's in our imagination far more fascinating than where we put our keys, this can pose problems. Other factors can involve a lack of mental and physical energy relating to vitamin and/or mineral deficiency (chemical energy), sleep related issues (insomnia, sleep apnea etc), lack of physical exercise which means a lack of oxygenated blood flow to the brain, a lack of strategy and skill development when it comes to practicing memory recall and the list goes on. Personally, my memory is pretty shocking at times because I tick a lot of those boxes if I'm not managing such factors. Like my 19yo son, I'm a gal who's a major daydreamer, which comes with both amazing pros and serious cons. I think some people really don't get how depressing poor memory can become at times, especially when our inner critic starts to mess with us through dialogue like 'You're so stupid. You're hopeless. You can never remember anything' and a whole lot of depressing stuff like that. Pays to channel the analyst in us that might suggest 'There's a good reason for why you can't remember. You need to investigate' or maybe the sage in us might insist 'Don't be so hard on yourself while you're trying to master memory recall'.

We are incredibly complex and truly amazing creatures who do have a tendency to be unbelievably hard on our self while we're trying to make greater sense of who we naturally are and how we naturally tick. Mind, body or soul, it's a rabbit whole worth exploring, with revelations that can lead to the proclamation 'No wonder I'm struggling. I had no idea that's how I work!'. The more of the rabbit whole you explore, the more you 'wake up' to who you are. Until then, it can feel like somewhat of a nightmare at times.