A professional opinion would be appreciated

[jes345]

I wanted to use the online chat but this is fine. Hope someone can help me!

I've always had low self-confidence and never really believed I could do anything/have a happy future because of it. I always think about what would happen if I were to fail rather than succeed. Because of it I'm scared to put myself out there and do new things because I'm most comfortable with familiarity.

My confidence is so low I quit a fast food job last year because of it; I didn't tell anyone how I felt being thrown in the deep end. Instead I left after the first shift. I couldn't stop thinking about the job, about going back and it lead to a restless night full of unsettling nightmares. Now when it comes to applying for jobs, I see fast food job advertisements that make me think back to last year. They make me feel nervous and uneasy so I scroll on and look for a job that's easier and less stress-induced. Because such jobs don't exist, I never end up finding anything, and my Dad's always patronizing me about getting any sort of work, oblivious to my "dilemma".

Knowing that my low level of confidence is an issue, I came across a list of warning signs for depression and anxiety. Some of them I can relate to:

• Getting up later: I tend to go to bed late and wake up late on a regular basis. I think I have an unhealthy sleeping pattern that involves waking up at random times everyday (e.g 9am one day and 11am the next)

• Finding it hard to concentrate: I may zone out of a program on the tv or a conversation. Sometimes I daydream when I've stopped at traffic lights. It's also hard for me to find motivation.

• Eating unhealthily: YEP. I barely eat veggies and fruit and find more comfort in rubbish foods. I've been trying to eat healthy by eating the odd apple or smoothie.

• Having disturbed sleep: Occurs 9 times out of 10. I always dream about whatever's bothering me/on my mind 24/7

• Feeling irritable, stressed or teary: Depends. I'm irritated that I can't tell anyone I'm unhappy, stressed when put in an uncomfortable position/don't know how to do something and teary when I'm uncomfortable, misunderstood or being put down and can't handle it

• Withdrawing socially/ wanting to spend lots of time alone: I hate socializing with people I don't relate to or know very well. Good friends aren't a problem. I'd rather stay at home and binge on Netflix than go out with my brother and his girlfriend.

I've been unhappy with myself for a while, but I'm not sure if this (^) means anything serious.

[Wednesday]

Hi Jess,

I'm really pleased you came to the forum it's a great place to chat and work through things. There are many people with lots of experience to help out too. Just in case you haven't noticed there is also the chatline 1300 22 4436 available 24/7. So you are really not alone!

It sounds like something is not quite right though it's a bit hard to decide what that is without some help. You have obviously given this some thought and done some research. It sounds like your low confidence is making life pretty tricky for you.

The BB site has lots of information. If you go to the home page, facts drop down menu, then anxiety and depression checklist (k10) you can get a score that will/may help you understand where you sit on the anxiety depression scale.

Have you thought about checking in with a doctor, you could even take the K10 score with you to help raise the subject? It is important to speak to someone and a doctor is an easy start, anxiety and depression can also be symptoms of other health issues so worth having the chat.

Sometimes our heads just play tricks on us and make us think things that are not true. Like I mess everything up, when in reality you spilt a bit of sugar.

Don't give yourself a hard time its not with it. Can you find something you like about yourself? It can be a small thing but it is important to keep those negative thoughts at bay and counteract with a positive, I have a fabulous smile!

Good luck and come back and chat anytime.