A bit about Lou

[weezie09]

Hey hey hey, thanks for having me BeyondBlue.

My name is Louise, I'm 21 and living in beautiful Melbourne.

I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and mild PTSD in 2012 (year 12). That was definitely my lowest point so far: crying myself to sleep as well as random outbursts during even the most inappropriate times, numerous panic attacks at school, fighting with my friends and family, not eating for days followed by binge eating episodes, withdrawing from social, sporting and schooling commitments (when it's all happening) and worst of all - suicidal thoughts that lingered for weeks.

I was taking meds for around 2 years however due to them taking away all my feelings until I felt literally empty, I decided to ween myself off of them.

Of late, I've been feeling my anxiety is progressively getting worse. I've often found myself with a rapid heartbeat, short of breath and feeling extremely worried for no reason. I've stressed over normal things like meeting with friends, work or studying. I have no motivation to do anything other than the bare minimum to function and I've noticed the gaps between my 'sad times' has been getting shorter. I know I need to go back to the doctor but I'm worried I'll need to go back on medication - I don't like the thought of needing medication to function daily, possibly becoming dependent or the thought of feeling empty again, at this stage I'd rather these feelings than none at all. If it weren't for my boyfriend I wouldn't bother going but I don't want this to affect him/us and I know that it is all for my own good.

I am looking to read other similar stories on here from others in my age group, with depression/anxiety, with supportive partners who don't want depression to be a main consideration in life. I would also love to think I can help someone who is of a similar age who might have some concerns of their own! I'm super friendly and ready to talk and listen, please feel free to reach out - that's why we're all here I guess!

Thanks for reading my dribble, keep doing your thing guys!! ❤️

Love Lou xx

[Doolhof]

Hi Louise,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue Community. It is great to have you here!

I'm certainly not in your age bracket, I'm like double your age then add a few years on top of that! Ha. Ha.

I do understand the concern/worry/mixed thoughts about taking medication for depression or anxiety. Some times it is just a necessary thing for some people.

Think of it like having any other kind of illness that requires medication, if you don't take it, then you don't manage very well.

You might not need medication. Your Dr. might be able to connect you to a counsellor or psychiatrist where you can chat and work out strategies to help yourself through the tough times.

Different people use all kinds of things to help them through their issues and mental health concerns. Some people use meditation, mindfulness, yoga, running, sport in general, writing, art and all kinds of things.

Going to your Dr. might be the first step to creating a whole new way of looking at life. Embrace the things you do enjoy doing and try each day to find something to be thankful for.

Hope some of my rambling helps!

Cheerio for now from Mrs. Dools

[blondguy]

Hi Louise

Welcome! I have seen your first post on another thread and you were very kind and helpful too!

You are not speaking dribble at all....I am not in your age group either...whoops...but being young you have a fresh look or perspective that is refreshing great to read. You are also enthusiastic too!

Mrs Dools advice re the meds is accurate...Depression/anxiety is like a physical illness..a broken limb..a virus...high blood pressure...they all require medication to help us help ourselves...BUT...If you can get to your doc and have a talk will be a huge step forward for you and you may manage well without the meds.

Your boyfriend sounds like a really good guy. You are fortunate to have a partner that can be there for you.

Whether or not you need meds you mentioned that they give you that 'empty' feeling...Same as me years ago when I started taking them. I couldnt stand them but to function on a day to day basis I kept taking them..They helped me stay at work and pay the mortgage.

The meds only take out the bad lows and provide you with a platform on which then you can help yourself heal with regular visits to your doc and maybe later reduce the therapist to every six months or so.

I have had depression (severe anxiety has dissipated yay) for many years and tried hard for about 5 years without meds and just for me...it didnt work..but may for you!

You are also fortunate as the GP's now have a better understanding of depression/anxiety nowadays compared to the 1980's when it was difficult to find an understanding GP for treatment.

I do hope you can see you doc as something to look forward too Louise..

Apologies if I have rambled on

My Kind Thoughts for you

Paul

[White_Rose]

Hello Louise

Nice to meet you and very pleased you are writing in to BB for support.

Medication is a huge issue for many people and mostly it's about medication for mental ill health. Paul has pointed out that you would be happy to take it for other illnesses so why not this one. I think we see it as proof that we are deficient in some way and that others will see us in that light. So don't tell anyone. It's none of their business anyway.

The other part of your discomfort with antidepressants is the side effects that sometimes happen. I know all about these. I have tried numerous ADs which are either ineffective or have horrendous side effects. Finally my doctor found an AD that works (yeay), and has minimal side effects. I have a dry mouth but that is nothing compared with previous meds.

I understand that ADs can make you feel empty inside and so can depression. It may be that the AD was not working for you. They are all different and work in different ways even if they belong to the same group such as SSRIs. Don't ask me what that stands for because I can't remember. I can't tell you if the AD worked or not or where your emptiness belongs. I can most definitely urge to return to your doctor and talk about your feelings.

My AD comes from one of the original AD group called tricyclics. These are not used much today but they still have a place. Again this is what works for me. You may be best suited to something else. I am trying to say, go and have a chat with your GP and if he/she feels ADs are appropriate, try them. Try a different type.

The way you are feeling is how many of us with anxiety or depression feel. I expect it doesn't help much to know others are in the mix with you. Hold on to the thought that others regain their health and so can you.

You have not mentioned having any counseling. Did/do you have counseling? Talk to your GP about that. I suggest you have a look at the Kids Help Line. It was set up to help people up to the age of 25. The web address is www.kidshelpline.com.au They have a 24/7 support line. The number is 1800 55 1800 Another site for young people is Headspace: the National Youth Mental Health Foundation. www.headspace.org.au they also have a help line 24/7 1800 650 890

Keep chatting here where you will always have great support.

Mary