22 year old and my Feelings for a girl

IAMTHEONE · ‎18-05-2014

Hello

This is the first time im seeking help on the matter, so my apologies if this post is a bit confusing.

For the past two years iv had sorta a thing for this girl, she like myself, both suffer from depression and anxiety. we only get a chance to meet in person once a month due to distance, shes not that far away, its just we don't have any reason to meet up any other time other than this event we go to.

i guess the thing is, i really have absolutely no idea what to do, i want to get to know her better and perhaps even be more than friends, but i just don't know how to go about it. I properly should mention that we are friends, and im afraid of loosing that if i she were to know how i feel about her. I properly should mention that we are friends, and im afraid of loosing that if i she were to know how i feel about her, because i don't know how she'll react.

So im posting on here so maybe someone with a bit more experience in these matters might be able to give me some advice.

Thank you 🙂

Neil_1 · ‎20-05-2014

Hi there iamtheone

Welcome to Beyond Blue and a very nice and positive name you’ve set for yourself. 🙂

How long is “not that far away”? My thoughts on this is to ask her – ask her in the lead-up to the next ‘event’. Having little knowledge of the size of town/city that you live in – I’m going to run with this option on the assumption that you either have her mobile number or her email.

So yeah, leading up to the next ‘event’, get in touch with her. And just ask casually if she is able to come over for the event, so an hour or two earlier than usual?

All going well, she should respond with “Why?”

Then you come back with, “I was just wondering if you’d like to meet up for brunch, lunch, arve coffee?” – depending on the time of day that she may arrive. Just put it out there in a casual fashion so she has the opportunity to respond either way.

Yes would be giddy up iamtheone – way to go lad.

A no response is, ok, well at least I asked and really there should be no awkwardness afterwards at future events – because of the casual fashion that you posed the question to her.

And perhaps a response of: “Oh I can’t do it this time, but please get in touch with me for the following one”, would be another pretty positive spin on things.

What do you think iamtheone, I would be keen to hear back from you and also for any other thoughts/comments you might have?

Kind regards

Neil

IAMTHEONE · ‎20-05-2014

Thanks for the reply.

i Probably left out a few bits of important info there, My apologies. We live about 2 hours away from each other but it not like its a problem to travel, and i have her as a friend on Facebook.

Its just i don't want to lose our friendship, i mean theres no reason to think that that'll happen but.... i guess its just the thought of it.

but i might be time for me to "buck up" and ask her.

Just one last thing i'll ask though, when we are alone together do i just tell her i like her or wait?

Thank you

Neil_1 · ‎21-05-2014

Hi there ITO

Mate, if she agrees to say meeting you beforehand for a coffee or even a lunch, that'll be all very good.

But with regard to telling her anything - just by you asking her for a coffee or a lunch, that would signify to her that you obviously like her - and also by how you say that you're kind of friends anyway.

In regard to actually telling her - man, just have your lunch/coffee, whatever it is and enjoy it - just chat and talk away, have some laughs etc. Just shoot the breeze. If that all goes well, then there'll be plenty of opportunity 'later on' to start to express your feelings. Just keep 'em in check at this time.

That's my thoughts - I do hope she gives you a positive response. Let us know how you go.

Neil

IAMTHEONE · ‎25-05-2014

Hello again

well, despite a few attempts, i cannot seem to get a response from her, i have attempted to get in contact with her and she doesn't seem to want to talk to me. Thing is i know shes seen the messages, obviously she doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

Thanks anyway Neil, i really appreciate it.

Neil_1 · ‎26-05-2014

Hi there ITO

Hey, thanx for this reply back - ok a few attempts made and "no" response back - not even a one?? To me, that's rude, but maybe I'm just old fashioned.

For me, I'd be leaving this one be - but ITO, it's a MASSIVE massive ocean out there and believe me, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Please come back here whenever you want - we'll be here and hopefully next time the result might be a bit more encouraging.

Kind regards

Neil