Wow first timer

Guest_093
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

My first post which has taken me a long long time to write here. Different things have happened like forgetting my password so many times, getting involved in my not staying in my present mind. Having depression, anxiety, trying to deal with life, work and homelife and being this negative person for so long as far back as I remember. And now wanting to feel better and being impatient that it is not happening and at times feeling that I am doing nothing to make it happen, being so caught up with what is going and listening to what is in my head and not being strong enough to control it instead it is controlling me. Reading about strategies to use or sites to look at and forgetting to do it, or look at it a couple of times and then forgetting about it, I cannot seem to relax and unwind, I am allways doing stuff and racing around doing it and I absolutely and totally love coffee, I try to limit myself to 3 cups a day and have to really push myself to sit there and enjoy it and sip it slowly, my husband and housemate say I am very angry woman and will lash out and say something when they think there is really nothing to lash out about, in other words I think and say the worst. I am seeing a therapist and have 1 tomorrow the 1st one in a month. I am trying not to ramble on so much being my first post it seems I am just letting the words flow and trying to control my physical mannerisms and nerves I want very much to stay in control and be a better/happier person than I was yesterday,

19 Replies 19

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Spitfire1~

Welcome here to the Forum. I can't find you other 3 posts either, so we are both in the same boat.

Reading that post it strikes me you are rushing, popping down tons of words. True it is all there, you have depression and anxiety, you have a tendency to lash out and don't follow through on things that might help. Plus you are discouraged and look on the negative side.

But you are also a person who goes to work as well as things at home. So a capable person too. You are also under treatment and have come here too in an effort to improve matters.

I'll only talk about one thing at the moment, slowing your thoughts and trying to control them, rather than the other way around.

I've used a free smartphone app called Smiling Mind for a fair while now. It takes practices to start with and builds up from a minute or so to as long as you like. It actually does work. With that practice you send your mind out of that anxious or frantic loop. Amazingly the length of time it stays better behaved increases over time too.

You can switch the music off, which is a blessing:)

I guess that's enough for one post.

You are welcome here anytime, good luck with the councilor.

Croix

Guest_093
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hi Croix thanks for your supporting advice I really need it right now, I saw my councillor today and she gave me a couple of things to start off with. First - start a walk on my days off, join a local group, and start the day when I first wake up with 3 deep breaths in and out before even getting out of bed and going out for a coffee aaahhh lol, and continue throughout the day @ 3 different time slots so the buildup of stress and anxiety is not so high and I can start to maintain it to a healthy level. So I am excited about your use of the free smartphone app called Smiling Mind, how can I get it, and where, do I download from my phone/onto my phone, sorry the brain has gone into overdrive again, i am trying to find strategies to help myself become a better person and thank you for the welcome mat.

Hello Spitfire, it's not easy to post your first comment, because at first, you may edit it, then sit on it, perhaps delete only wishing you had posted it, I know it can be difficult to do, but pleased you have done it.

If I could tell you, and sorry Croix for interfering, but you can download the app for Smiling Mind on your phone or computer.

Being depressed as well as anxious creates negative thoughts that stop you moving forward, that's not your fault, it's nobody's fault when they are suffering, but when you are caught up in this illness it's so hard to comprehend any help strategies unless you have the support and confidence from others.

It's great you're seeing a counselling and please take one day at a time.

Remember you can't be angry and laugh at the same time.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Guest_093
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
thanks mate your supporting words do make a difference and yes I am now just taking 1 day @ a time, this morning when I woke I did my 3 big in/out breaths and filled my lungs with good air, although did not feel any different but felt good that I had least made a attempt. thankyou for info about Smiling Minds app will look for it later today. Have a awesome day everyone.

Hello Spitfire, please remember that we are always here for you, we know it not always easy, one day we feel good then the next day it may all come crashing, that's what this illness has the ability to do.

Take care.

Geoff.

Guest_093
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hi Croix,Geoff and everyone, last night i downloaded and put onto my phone the free app Smiling Mind, I yet to start it, will try it later this arvo, when I first woke up, the brain started into overdrive again of all the things that i wanted to do today so stopped right there and took 3 breaths in and 3 breaths out and yesterday @ work practised my deep breathing exercise whenever I could and did it even when serving customer but discreetly and blow me down it was working, felt a lot better when I had finished all my other tasks and was heading home, i am very grateful to have a casual job and be working where I am, that is 1 reason why I asked to be there because of trying to deal with the shit that was being dealt out @ the other shop, I did speak to the boss this morning and she calmed my fears a bit, did have a troubled sleep according to hubby, so trying to do the job @ my shop must have been on my mind last night but the boss calmed me and understands that it will take a couple of weeks to get everything togeather to do my job and she did not get a phone call from the security about the alarm not being set so I have conquered that yay, yay . I feel a little more relaxed about everything and had a wonderful chat with hubby this morning which I loved. So now I am going to clean the gravel in my fishbabies tank. Do have a awesome day everyone!!!!!

Hello Spitfire, I'm pleased but when your brain goes into overdrive, take a step back, you can't do everything all at once and remember you can't push yourself too quickly, it takes time, in other words, it progresses as fast as you can cope with it.

It's great to hear back from you.

Geoff.

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Spitfire1~

One of the hardest things I found to start wiht was to step outside myself and realize what was happening - that I was having an anxiety attack. The fact you thought to do breath control to help at the time is a big step, it took me ages to get to that stage.

From then on finding the most effective thing to do was neither quick nor easy, but was possible, and ultimately does lead to feeling a whole lot better.

I'm pleased you found Smiling Mind. If you are like me you need to practice when you are good, the short 2 minute exercise is plenty to start with, and even that does become surprisingly effective, though going on to the longer exercises is good when you can.

Anything that give you control.

Croix

Hello Spitfire, can I ask you if you have been diagnosed with depression and/or anxiety?

The reason I ask is only so I can help support you more effectively.

Best wishes.

Geoff.