Where did the joy go?

[tyga]

Hi everyone, I'm really just posting here to get some of my thoughts and feelings out of my head. I'm experiencing a lot of sadness atm because my brother is getting divorced. It has rocked me to my core and, as is typical with me, the anxiety and depression seep into every other aspect of my life. I feel the joy has left my life this year. I no longer enjoy the things I used to and find myself ruminating on the point of life. I hate feeling like this but I just can't shake it. It's been a long time since I have felt like this and I'm drawing on every strategy I know to keep going but I miss feeling happy. I miss enjoying my job and my sport. On top of that, a colleague died suddenly about a month ago which was also a huge shock.

I have been told that experiencing more than 3 major life events in a 12 month period can cause depression and anxiety. I just wish someone could tell me, when will the joy return?

[IJG]

Hi tyga.

Glad you posted here. Sorry to hear about your brother getting a divorce and your work colleague.

Having depression and anxiety don't help in this situation. I suffer from both also.

I have also been through a divorce. It's tough but sometimes it's necessary for the persons own mental health. I wanted to end my life sticking around in my marriage for the kids. That is the wrong reason so I had to move on.

There is light at the end of the tunnel and I keep getting told that but I'm still looking for it but it is there. Don't give up.

Playing sport helps with depression. You need to push yourself to get active again. I talk from experience here. I used to cycle so much that I spotted for the last 19 months and really miss it but find it so difficult to get back on the bike. My friends are pushing me to get back on but I'm not ready yet. I'm not far way from cycling again which will help just talking crap with other people and making us laugh as we have forgotten how to do that.

What do you do for a job that you miss enjoying it? Have you been there a long time? Is it time for a change? These are questions you need to find the answers for.

You must be close with your brother since it's rocked you to your core which means you will need to be strong for him to get him through this and he can be there for you to help you understand where it all went wrong.

Hope this helps and I'm always happy to chat to you. Keep your chin up and get back out there playing sport. It does wonders.

Take care

[blondguy]

Hello Tyga

Thankyou for having the strength to post and welcome too!

You are going through a lot with your brother situation and have had a colleague passing away as well. You are right about the 'major life events' I had one in 1982 when my big brother died and that hit hard. Sometimes 'experts' use a scale and a number of 'life events' but its really how you really feel right now. Sometimes people have three major life events and they are fine.

You mentioned that 'the anxiety and depression' seep into every other aspect of your life. Is that the sad feelings about your brothers' divorce or have you been diagnosed with depression/anxiety?

Either way Tyga, the joy will return...Its like a broken leg..it takes time to heal and then maybe some further nurturing too....The bad feelings you have right now are no different to a roller coaster ride...you are in the low part...and sometimes it takes a while until we come back up again. It is painful and hurts...I understand where you are coming from

There are great people on the forums that can be here for you, and it would be great if you could post back and let us know how you are going..

My kindest thoughts for you

Paul

[tyga]

Hi Paul,

Thanks for your words. I have decided to step down from my leadership role at my work to lighten the amount of stress going on in my life at the moment. I haven't been enjoying it so I think this might be a good move. I felt quite light actually when I acknowledged that I don't really want to do it anymore.

Hopefully the relief will help me feel better.

[blondguy]

Hi Tyga, very healthy move to step down from your senior position. Sometimes its so much easier to walk through life with less weight in our backpack 🙂

You deserve to feel better and good on you

My Best

Paul