Hi guys, I’m 27 years old and been working in hospitality industry for 7 years now.
I have had some terrible experiences with work, co workers and employers.
I used to be very self motivated, hard working and dedicated with work.
I burnt myself out because I was a people pleaser and tried to help everybody when I could, I realised I had to change and set boundaries if I want to be healthy with my life outside of work. I started to speak up and said no, but people werent happy with the change I made.
I used to get bullied, personally attacked and told i was not good enough. Gaslight and manipulation were part of my day at work. I was so traumatised, I was in my early 20s and was dealing with social phobia (social anxiety), I was worried whether my co-worker and the regular customers would like me or not, what they would think about me, and whether they would judge me or not. I always tried to control what they think, I worried so much that I lost myself in my head, I felt dizzy and felt sick in my stomach.
I lost my job because of my anxiety, my overthinking pattern. It affected me until today. I still struggle with getting back to work, because I’m always scared about something bad would happen, people wouldnt like the way I work.
But lately, I’ve been trying to find a new job that suits me and I try to speak my mind if something doesnt align with me, is that bad? Trying to speak up and set boundary from the beginning, rather than being a yes-man and burning myself out in the end.
I still think we are still in work culture where we always have to say yes to be able accepted in a company. We can’t speak our mind and let people see our perspective.
I’m still so traumatised, Im scared that I wont be able to find a job that I can stay for a long period of time. What am i gonna do if i dont work? Im really scared right now i cant even eat even though im hungry, my head is spinning because of stress. What should I do???
