The story of my life up until now

[yona]

My life starting in the early 80s I have one brother and one sister my parents broke up when I was two. My father hit my mother some times but they had some happy times. Then not long after she met my step father and a year later they got marryed. My step father has been great to me and he is dad me and him have been having some ups and downs our selfs.

Then when I was about 8 my mum got hurt at work she was a nurse by one of the patience in a bad way very bad. Right through my teens she was in and out of hospitals and it was very hard on all of us. I spent a lot of my teens at home alone because mum was where she was sister and brother doing there own thing and dad running a restuaurant. so I was very lonely.

Then when I was 18 we moved to Tasmania we all moved there to have time out it was time out of ten years. I found I did not cope with stress and stoped working ,My sister found out things at last that were wrong with her health which she had been trying to work out for years Mum told us more things about her child hood that were not very nice some things about her father and that she has bipolar. My father has problems that he still will not talk about.

So in 2007 we moved to Victoria dad did not want to move but did it for ever body else that is what he says but who knows. My at 31 my sister went back to work pushed to do so by my father and then in time moved out of home my father is for ever getting the shits with her but loves her. Me moved here when 27 do not cope with stress do not work live at home with parents feel that I am in the way I always mum and dad say I am more then welcome feel that if I was not around that the two of them would be a lot happier. I also found out that I had aspergers when I was 28 but my mother did not tell me for two years. And I have problems even liking my self and some times at loger heads with my father. as For my father I do not know because he never talks to anyone.

Oh sorry I forgot my brother he is in the arm he left home at 18 and miss out on all the stress. But as for the me I am blaming my self for everything that goes wrong in the house of me,mum and dad I just find it easyer to just take the blame and in doing that give my self more stress which in saying that I think that is Y I drink to relax and escape. That is just some of it.

[Neil_1]

Hi there Yona

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for providing your post.

Wow, that is some life that has been experienced by yourself – and that I’m imagining is only the small tip of a very large iceberg.

I know this is easier said than done, but whatever has happened along the journey has in no way shape or form been any of your doing.  How could it?   You were a child along the way and seemingly ruled by a particularly nasty father in the early days.

So do I take it now that there are just the three of you living together (your dad, mum and yourself?).   Has your sister moved out?    If so, is there any possibility that you could move in with her?    As it doesn’t sound like a particularly nice environment where you are at at the moment?

Ps:   with your bro, though he missed out on the family stressors, I bet he probably experienced his own kinds of stressors from time to time in the army.   Do you hear or see from him at all?

Kind regards

Neil

[geoff]

dear Yona, firstly I would like to welcome you to the Beyond Blue forum and thank you for posting your comment.

It seems as though both your mother and father both had experienced trouble  while they were growing up, and then your mum got hurt at work where she had been in and out of hospital, and maybe not getting the correct treatment, and then being physically abused by your dad, so it's been a hard journey for her, until she met your step dad.

Living such a difficult life can wear off onto the children, which then in turn makes your own life rather difficult.

You only found out that you have aspergers late in life and please correct me if I'm wrong, but it appears as though you are struggling to get ahead in life, and I please would like to know if this is correct.

From what I can gather you are blaming yourself from what or when ' goes wrong in the house', which doesn't seem to be fair.

I wonder if you have been to see your doctor, and if not, then I think that you should, then he/she will then be able to help you.

I also believe that your mother should also go, and your doctor can organise free visits to see a psychologist.

Can you please let us know whether you have been to a doctor or whether you do actually have on. 

I also presume that you are a female. Geoff.