Struggling

[Lostandexhausted]

Hi, I am a 33yr old female and was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety a few years back but I choose not to medicate due the the side effects caused by the many different meds I have tried in the past. This is rough at the best of times but lately it has really gotten to me. I live with my partner and our 8yr old daughter and we have been struggling financially but my partner does not know the extent to our issues as he has a disability and cannot work so I dont want to upset him by telling him which adds to my stress. I am a store manager of a retail store which is stressful enough but I am going through a period where my staff just dont want to turn up to work which results in me having to work extra hours and not really getting any proper time off which would be more tolerable if i was actually paid for the extra hours but as I am on salary I only accumulate time in lieu which I am unable to use due to the staff issues. On top of this I am also studying to complete my cert 4 in fitness in hopes of starting a PT business to get some extra income on the side. 

I am extremely exhausted and stressed, I am not sleeping and not eating properly and am honestly at breaking point. I dont have anyone I can talk to about this as my partner also suffers depression as a result of his disability and if i tell him how I am feeling he goes into a dark hole and blames himself. My Mum is very self centred and she turns these kinds of conversations around to be about her so I am not getting help at work or at home and I dont see the point in professional help as I have tried this in the past an got nothing out of it except the added stress of yet another expense.

I just dont know where to turn anymore and am hoping reaching out to some like minded people might help.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Lostandexhausted,

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums.

I am so sorry you’re having a lot to deal with and feel exhausted, You’re working, being a loving mother, a caring partner and career to your partner…no wonder you’re so exhausted….Financial stress can have a huge impact on our mental health, working extra hours unpaid…is not fair!…

Maybe your partner is stronger then you think, sharing your families financial worries might help as in two minds to tackle a problem is sometimes better then one…talking through things with your partner will ease your burden of hiding it from him….both your financial stress and how you’re feeling so exhausted…

Maybe a visit to your family GP, might help…explain how you’re feeling within yourself, he/she will be able to set you up a mental health care plan…with professionals, for some free therapy sessions with a psychologist…

Its really important that you try hard to take some time for yourself…even if it’s a half an hour a day, to do something for yourself…Listening to gentle music or a sleep story while your in bed trying to sleep, might help relax and calm your mind enough to get some good sleep, which is so very important for our emotional and mental health….

Thinking of you Dear Lostandexhausted with my care and kindness…

Grandy..

[indigo22]

Hi Lostandexhausted,

Welcome, you are in the right place to get some support. You seem to be getting it from all sides at the moment, it is no surprise you are feeling wrung out. The fact that you are doing all you are doing without medication is applaudable, it takes a lot of strength to deal with everything you have on your plate. I know how much financial burdens can weigh on a person who is just holding it together. You are working yourself extremely hard at the moment. Is there any possibility of using a Temp Agency to cover the lack of staff problem? The other suggestion is to have a look on the internet for information on Polyvagal Theory. According to some of the information I have read, it is very helpful in managing stress levels caused by anxiety and depression and you may find it helpful not only for your stress levels but also for your sleep. Perhaps it may be helpful for your partner also. The one thing you must do is make a concerted effort to eat properly, you will not be able to continue for long without good nutrition. I know you don't have a lot of time to spare so perhaps at least try to have healthy snacks on hand like fruit, carrot sticks, nuts and the like. You could also throw a few things into an airtight bowl like chopped avocado, tomato, mushrooms, olives and greens to pick at when you are passing the fridge. Your body is screaming out for help at the moment, so please try to give yourself some attention.

Take care and let us know how you are going. We will be here for you.

indigo22