Struggling with depression and anger

[Eeyore123]

Hi there. I am new to the forum. I've suffered with depression (and anxiety) for many years. Although I have found ways to cope with this on a day-to-day basis, sometimes it trips me up big time. An ongoing problem for me is that I struggle to recognise what I am feeling emotionally; and often miss the signs that my depression and/or anxiety has been triggered. When in this state I very easily get angry without realising. I'm in a long term relationship, and my partner might say something that normally would be inconsequential but in this state arouses anger extremely quickly. The problem is that once triggered I struggle (and usually fail) to prevent it escalating - I fail to walk away; and I fail to keep my mouth shut. Does anyone else have a similar experience? Is there anything you're tried that works?

[white knight]

Hi eeyore, welcome

I might have a solution.

My wife has depression and anger outbursts, mainly high defence with anger. I have bipolar2, depression, anxiety, dysthymia

So we developed a solution for when arguements occur. These are the rules.

Never drive

Never leave the property.

Separate yourself (I tend to go to my shed, she to our bbq area.)

Dont follow the one that storms off

After say 20-30 minutes when either one of you feels like you've calmed down, approach the other and ask if they'd like a cuppa. If not thats ok. Leave them aline. But then its the other persons responsibility to approach the other person when they have calmed down.

Have a drink together. One rule here...no raising of your voices.

Works for us.

Tony WK

[geoff]

hello Eeyore, welcome to the site, and can I suggest that you know what cerain triggers these particular times, there maybe some common tread as to why they happen, because by being angry nothing is going to be solved, just discontent, which will take time to heal, and does it actually make the situation easier, not really, it only means that eventually it has to be repaired.
If you don't know what these trigger points are then talk to a psychologist, although sometimes they could be obvious, but don't know how to deal with them or want to accept them, or perhaps they maybe a sticking point between the two of you.
Anger brings out negative points, although they may not seem to be, but it's worth talking about them. Geoff.