Struggling single mum

[Bee40]

Hi all. Single mum with 2 kids and feeling low atm. I feel angry , nervous and upset most days. Angry at myself for not speaking up for myself against others . I'm quiet person. Nervous to talk to my friends these days or family cause all they hear me do these days is hear me cry or hear how I am and I don't want to keep telling them how things going. I want to say hey yep things are great. Feel like I  I shouldn't call anyone . Upset most days cause I don't know help my son 9 at times who getting bullied at school, my daughter  3 who has separation anxiety  from me and been upset . Feel like I'm failing mum and then I feel like I should quit my job cause who needs an upset staff member. That's me atm. 

[ecomama]

Hey Bee40, warm welcome to the forums! 

We're all hear to listen and no need to worry that you're upsetting anyone. 

You're doing the best you can at the moment and that's all anyone can expect of you. Hugs. 

Have you phoned your son's school to explain what he's telling you? 
Btw you must be a great mum for him to be opening up to you! 

Having separation anxiety is difficult for your daughter at this time. 
Sometimes our kids exhibit feelings they know that WE have, hence it's really important for you to be extra good care of yourself, especially on the emotional / psychological level. 

If you're feeling super distressed to the point of "overwhelm", it's a really mentally healthy thing to reach out to one of the Helplines. The Beyond Blue Helpline AND or 1800RESPECT Counsellors and Psychs are ALWAYS there for you too. 24/ 7. 

Teaching your son how to stand up for himself is very important! 

The present is tricky if we're anxious because of the past and even present situations. 
Having something to look forward to, for you all as a family is vitally important so you can all look to the future. Something simple such as promising the kids a trip to the Park on the weekend so they can play in the playground. Or a trip to the waterfront so they can play. 

Some thing you may not usually do as habit can help all of you change perspectives. 

This single parenting gig can be a big challenge, it can also be THE most wonderful experience of your life! 
Setting yourself personal, professional AND financial goals are all good for you to centre and ground yourself, to help you realise you CAN attain things despite the current situation. 

I've been a single parent 2 times around now lol. I've developed skills in all areas and see the proof in the pudding. 

One book you might love to read is "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families" by Stephen Covey. 
It's AWESOME! Used it for decades, love it. 

Practicing self-care and gratitude more than daily and NOTICING when you are doing these can not only bring you peace and healing but they are phenomenal practices for your children to learn. 
They learn by your modelling them. 

Love EM

[Bee40]

Thankyou ecomama.  For your kind words . Sound like you an awesome mum 

I too have been single mum round twice too. 2 kids. Both have separate  dads. 

I have talked with the school. They teying to help him but it not helping him atm. He keeps coming home angry and sometimes upset  saying I hate the school. 

The book idea I will look into thanks.  

Am trying to find ways to make self strong n be happy,  some days it works other days I'm in my room in tears and my children are coming in to comfort me. 

[Shamira_1]

Hi Bee40.

I think you need to talk to a cansoler about this all bc this stuff is not good your the best mum well everyone is a best mum.

From Shamira