Struggling Mum with separation anxiety

[Scare_mummy]

Hi I’m new to this I’m a single mum been separated for 4 year now & still struggling badly with separation anxiety when it come to my daughter going to her dads .

[Scare_mummy]

I have suffered for a long time & my ex know this however all I ask is that he let me know where my daughter will be but he won’t doesn’t matter how many time I explain why he just keeps telling me that I need to get over it

how does anyone else deal with this

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Scare mummy,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for your post. I just found your post today and I'm sorry that you haven't received a reply earlier!

Separation anxiety is very real, both for kids and for mums, yet strangely it never seems to be talked about as a mum, as if there's almost some kind of shame around it? But is is a very natural thing and does happen to a lot of parents (dads included!).

Can I ask what runs through your mind when you're dealing with this anxiety?

Sometimes identifying your thoughts can give a little clarity on how to manage it and go through with it - like maybe it's the idea that your ex won't take care of your daughter as well as you do, or the worry that your daughter gets upset and you won't be there - whatever they are - see if you can get some more clarity on it. What are they? Where do these thoughts come from? How do they make you feel? How does that anxiety change in intensity?

There are a lot of questions here, but hopefully it gives you something to think about.

[quirkywords]

Scare mummy,

I too welcome you to the forum.

I think it maybe reasonable to some extent to want to know where your daughter is going with her dad.

If they spend a day together they may go to a few places so that may be hard to tell you in advance.

Has he been unreliable before ?

I remember on my first weekend alone when my children were with their dad and I walked all over the supermarket as I had forgotten what I liked to eat , as I had bought food my children and their dad liked for so many years.

I can see you are worried but if you are reassured your daughter is fine and enjoys herself would that make it easier for you .?

quirky