Struggling mentally after a car accident

[Zarora]

This is my first step admitting I am struggling. Instead of crawling into bed and sleeping in the middle of the day; like I would rather do... I am writing this.

I have always been a careful driver. Never been in a car accident before. That was until 3 weeks to this day. I was driving the same route, I always go to drop my two kids off at primary school.

Short story is... I was stationary and my hatchback hit in the back by a van going 100km. I dont remember anything, didn't see them coming. Just hearing my kids screaming at the back.. I got myself and them out safely.. but its all a blur. People talking to me faces and questions, I barely remember anything. We went to the hospital and physically we were okay. Just bruises thankfully.

Since the accident all I have had to do was report injuries to the police, my partner dealt with our insurance (all been finalised and paid) and I put in a claim for myself and my kids for TAC... just incase.

I have been struggling with anxiety when it comes to being in the car and worse with driving. I see potential accidents everywhere. I get nervous when a car is behind us, I keep thinking they will crash into us. I contantly check the side mirror.

I have had some panic attacks (worst I have had in my life) but I am slowly getting there. I drove on a actual road with other cars yesterday, it wasn't easy, but I did it.

Since I can't drive, I have to rely on others to drive my kids to and from school and me to and from work. I feel useless and could stop feeling the way I do. Wish I wasn't such a burden on people.

With all this going on.. today was hard... because I had to talk to the TAC about our claim. Just when I think its all finalised, theres more steps, calls and I am tired and confused.  Constant reminders of what happened, when I am struggling to get back to my normal. The process is leaving me drained, so much I was going to just cancel it. My partner said we should continue just incase for my kids and I. So I did. 

My call with TAC today ended with ... we will call soon, within the week. I am so done, especially since this is all just in case.

I just want to skip to the part where its all finished and I feel normal.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Zarora,  Thank you for sharing such a brave and open post here. It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot since the accident, and we can imagine how incredibly hard that would be to deal with, but we’re glad you were able to open up to this community. 
 
We wanted to let you know that we’re here, and you can talk to the lovely Beyond Blue counsellors about this at any time you think it would be helpful on 1300 22 4636, or via our webchat. You can also talk to Blue Knot about this on 1300 657 380, every day between 9am-5pm (AEDT). Their counsellors are very experienced in working with people who have experienced complex trauma. They also have some resources on their website which could be useful to visit, particularly the pages on Survivors Self Care.   
 
Thank you again for your courage and strength in sharing your story. It might take some time for our kind community to spot your post, but we’re sure they will soon be here to offer their support and understanding.   
 
Kind regards, 
 
Sophie M 

[Mark Z.]

Hi  Zarora,

I hope the criminals will be brought to justice as soon as possible and get the punishment they deserve.

Being hit by a 100km car from the back... I can't imagine how deeply you were shocked and traumatised.

If I were you, I'd live in a psychological shadow too. You've done such great efforts to try to get back to the normal life.

I'm not a professional but I do have a few suggestions:

• Seek professional help: Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor via your GP who specializes in trauma. They can help you work through your feelings and develop coping strategies to manage the emotional impact of the accident.

• Take care of your physical health: Although you mentioned that you are physically okay, it's still important to take care of your body. This can include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in regular exercise or physical activity.

• Practice relaxation techniques: Trauma can trigger feelings of anxiety and stress. Practicing relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help calm your mind and body.

• Stay connected with loved ones: Talking to your husband and your close friends can help you feel supported and less alone. Consider reaching out to those you trust and sharing your experiences with them.

• Give yourself time and be patient: Healing from trauma is a process that takes time. Be patient with yourself and don't push yourself too hard.

Hope everything will be better.

Mark

[Zarora]

Hi Sophie M,

Thank you for your reply and thanks for the helpful information. I will look into these.

Zarora

[Zarora]

Hi Mark Z,

I appriciate your suggestions and your reply.

I plan to seek proffessional help, just need to figure out a good time to go when Im not working and someone can drive me.

Working on eating healthier. I've cut out my almost daily packet of salt 'n' vinegar chips and chocolate habit I started since the accident and my sleep pattern is almost back to what it was.

I need relaxation techniques especially ones I can do when I am driving. I do yoga its very helpful. 

I am very lucky, my partner and family have been so patient and understanding. It really helps when the guilt of being a burden takes hold because of my anxiety and not being able to drive.

This one is the hardest. So hard to be patient. I am so eager to be back to my old self, hopeful that I can get back to that.

Thanks again Mark,

Zarora

[Mark Z.]

Hi Zarora,

Thank you for your feedback.

You should be proud of yourself for your efforts and progress. Celebrating every progress, big or small, is even more important than being back to your old self. This is a journey of recovery, and it's also a process of rediscovering yourself. I hope you fall in love with the new you, brave, resilient, and optimistic.

Mark