Struggling in work

[Snowball_V]

I started a new job on Nov 18. I'm start scare to go to work as too much pressures. This company has a strange rule introduced on Dec 18. When you see people in the morning, you are not allowed to just say "Good Morning", you are required to have a short conversation with everyone. I'm a shy person and I do not know how to find a topic to talk. Also I got strong accent on speaking English which lower my confident to talk to other people. As most of people do not understand what I said, but they do not ask me and they just turn around and not talking to me. It makes me feel am I done something wrong.

Besides, I'm not a fashion person, but my manager always keep the eye on what I wear. Previously, I wear formally to work, she complaint I wear too formal. She prefer me to wear dress rather than trousers. I do not need to meet any customer in this position, I do not know the reason why I need to wear dress. None of my colleagues are wear dress except the Manager and the Financial Accountant. Also, my colleagues are not helpful, they do not teach me anything but just keep give me their works. As a result, I keep working overtime and even need to work from home in the weekend as I need to find out how to get the work done. Every night, I can't sleep well as my mind keep thinking about works. I always wake up at 2am and cannot sleep.

The ex colleague is fired by the Manager within 4 months as the Manager think she is not mature. It seems I may be the next one to get fire as I do not meet her standard. In one hand, I would like to resign but on the other hand I hope I can find another job before I resign or get fire. It is because I need money to pay for my bills and it is hard for me to find a job as I always did not do well in the interview. I left my last job because the company close down, I spent a year to get this job. If I resign, I do not know when can I get another job as I already about 40 years old.

I do not have any friend or family to talk about it. Everyday, I'm just too upset to go to work. I do not know what I should do.

[Croix]

Dear Snowball_V~

Welcome here to the Forum. It can feel strange and worrying to post here for the first time, however you will get used to it quickly, we are friendly and wish the best for you.

I guess the first thing to say is that your written English is just fine, quite easy to understand.

Frankly your job does not sound good, I suppose the idea of getting everyone to talk with each other is OK in theory but it really does not take into account the difficulties people may have with this idea, everyone is different after all. It sounds like one of those 'tick the boxes' exercises management play so they can say they encourage moral.

Being singled out to wear a dress is weird if you do not need it for customer relations. The fact you colleagues do not wear dresses leads me to think your manager is being difficult. Are you able to ask her why you should wear a dress if others don't?

Actually your colleagues do not sound a nice bunch. Not being courteous in conversation, failing to help you and giving you so many tasks you have to work extra sounds like they are taking advantage of you - would you say that is a fair assessment? Is there someone at work you can talk to about the workload?

While we can agree work is horrible it is hard to know what to do about it. You did say you hoped to find another job before this one finishes, or you resign. Are you able to try to get another while still working?

Interviews are hard, do you think it might be worth seeking professional advice on how to behave and what to say? A lot of prospective employers have fixed ideas of how an interview should go, and that means you can - with help - anticipate what will happen.

You said you had no friends or family to talk with. Is this because of distance, is there anyone in another place? Even a chat via phone or email -or Skype - can lift the spirits.

Again there are sometimes organizations made up of people with the same origin as you, plus sometimes people find friends and social contact though their place of worship if they are religious.

Life is not just worrying about work and bills. What are the things you enjoy doing? Music, books, pets ... ? One good idea is to have a fixed time each day to do something you can look forward to.

I'm not surprised you are upset abut work, anyone would be. If you need to miss work can you go to the doctor, explain what is happening and get a medical certificate?

You are very welcome to talk here, you are not alone

Croix