staying above water for now...

[edgeball]

G'day everyone,

First post on here but still not sure if I'm in the right place or if I've worked out things all wrong.... only after thinking about things over the last few months have I started to realise the walls and defences I've built about me.... then on reflection about things further back perhaps it was all building to this without me realising it .....

That all sounds cryptic but to give a small sketch of what I'm rambling about.... the other week I realised a few things that started to scare me a bit.... I had 2 days off (weekend) and spent them indoors and avoiding the phone and communicated with no one apart from a regular call to mum to see how she was.... the bins needed to go out for collection but I somehow avoided going outside and left them where they were.... some weeks if I put the bins out I don't even go out to bring them in so as to avoid neighbours or whatever I don't know.... I've hoarded boxes (empty) and empty juice bottles rather than go outside to bin them.... they build up and create a mess.... needless to say the house has become in need of a lot of care now both inside and out...

work used to be something I enjoyed but having a boss who would rather whinge about something than say thanks... some days I'm almost physically sick just thinking of having to spend 8 hours in his presence.... not to mention his having failed to pay superannuation for 5 years, refuses to issue pay slips and is a most bombastic, whiney, semi-illiterate, nit picking micro manager who I'm afraid I'm going to put in their place (which they so desperately deserve) but can't/won't because I need the job to pay for the house and my companion birds (who are real stress relievers sometimes).

I don't know if all this has been going on longer but just realised the cook top that still sits broken with shattered glass on the bench broke just after dad died 7 years ago.... maybe I've been sinking for that long....

I can get bursts of "motivation" to go to work and smile and interact with customers... to go to the shops if I need to.... to attend a club meeting each month .... but after a day of Mr Whiney at work it seems like I just have nothing left when I get home and can't achieve anything....

Maybe all I need is to get myself motivated and just get things done rather than moping around and that's all that it is? Sorry for rambling on and taking up so much space here but just not sure what to do... Thanks for "listening"...

[Peppermintbach]

Hi edgeball,

A warm welcome to the forums 🙂

I hear your stress as well as your lack of motivation and a certain dejectedness. You sound tired....I'm glad you're sharing as it can be cathartic to just let it out...

I can empathise with you as my room sometimes becomes super messy in an attempt to avoid human interaction (by not going to the outside bins). I find when I'm particularly depressed is when it gets worse as it's my way of "not dealing with the world" if that makes sense. I wonder if that is the case for you as well...

I think it could be worthwhile seeking (free) legal advice for the owing super at a government department or other reputable organisation. I am not a lawyer but depending on your work status and contract, he is generally legally required to pay super with each pay cycle. And he sounds like a nightmare to work for too...it must be rough....

I wonder if part of the lack of motivation and energy could point towards something else/something more going on...

Can I ask if you have considered seeing your GP for a check-up and perhaps discussing a mental health plan with him/her? Apologies if you have already done it but I thought that I would ask anyway.

I admire your ability to articulate your thoughts and how you are trying to help yourself by opening up here. As I said, sharing can be cathartic; it helps to feel less alone in our struggles.

kind thoughts,

Pepper

[geoff]

hello Edgeball, your comment is rather serious because if you haven't been paid any super or not given any pay slips then they must be reported, so if you google this 'employer failure to pay superannuation' then click on the first link, there they will tell you thay it needs to reported to the ATO, he is conducting this business illegally.
I presume there are other employees so that they won't know who has complained, but this must be done under no circumstances.
I wonder whether or not you could have OCD, because you have a couple of issues which may refer to having this illness, I could be quite wrong.
I would suggest that you go to a place where they try and find someone a place to work, sorry can't think of their name, but they do this for centrelink, but this definitely needs to resolved concerning your superannuation, 5 years would amount to a lot of money that should be yours, but at the moment you haven't. Geoff.

[White_Rose]

Hello Edgeball

Welcome to the forum. I will start with the easiest, your working conditions. Please go to this website and contact someone about your working conditions and lack of superannuation payments. https://www.employment.gov.au/

This is the federal body responsible for pay etc. It is important you get this sorted and have your super paid. You also need pay slips. These are legal requirements from an employer which you may need to produce to the tax office if you are audited.

I think there are some days when shutting the door is good for us. A day without hassles can be very therapeutic. If this is turning into a way of life it's not so good. I wonder if changing jobs would help. I appreciate it's not something that can happen easily but when you leave your current employment it will be so worthwhile.

I do know how good it feels to just leave everything lying around. Just lately I have been doing that because it's too much effort to put things away. I am in a stressful situation which hopefully will be resolved by the end of the week. Maybe I will find the motivation to have a clear up. I am amazed at how much I have let slip and how untidy my home is. I have family and friends visit me but I cannot summon the energy to be tidy.

It sounds like you are exhausted by the pressure of work from a boss who expects everything but gives nothing, not even a thank you. I think the only answer is to change jobs. Make sure your super payments are up to date first.

I do think you should visit your GP and get a check up. You sound very down and you may be depressed. It would certainly account for you feel this way. So many of us here on BB can relate to feeling the way you do. If you help soon you will feel better sooner. Pepper has talked about a mental health plan and that may be the way to go, but your GP may decide you only need an antidepressant to lift you from this exhausted state. That is often the case and means you may not need to take antidepressants for long.

Would love to know how you go. Please continue to write in.

Mary

[edgeball]

Thanks for the welcome everyone....

The stress and lack of motivation is almost always there except for days I'm alone at home avoiding the world.... dejected because I know what I'm capable of and just at times couldn't give a toss or so distracted by thoughts of how much I hate being at work that I make simple / stupid mistakes and that adds to the dejectedness... of course doesn't help when the boss (with an IQ not much bigger than his boot size) then chastises me in a condescending / patronising manner ....

Pepper its "good" to know I'm not alone when avoiding even going out to the bins.... what you say makes some sense about just not wanting to deal with anything in the "outside" world at that moment in time....

Re the super and IR stuff.... I know what I need to do there but can't afford to lose the job so am working on a plan to get a new job & at the same time get exactly what I'm entitled to. If I complained to the authorities he would hold an inquisition and privately interrogate each staff member to see who had complained.

Pepper I'm not sure if anything else is "going on".... I'm not a big fan of doctors, so have thought of it but dismissed it till now - have no rational reason for doing so - I just don't like the idea that they could tell me something I don't want to hear / do.

Geoff your comment about OCD is interesting although a lot of the time I am in a "who cares" type mood but know very little about OCD to know whether I may be or not?

Mary, changing jobs is exactly what I have in mind at the moment... whether this means changing towns as well I haven't decided but it could be on the cards too.... I've started to actively prepare for finding something else and drawn up a list of current / past contacts.... I'm sure a change would be very beneficial leaving the current situation behind... I'm relieved that all other employees are feeling a bit the same about this #!@$#! so know its not just me .... but they aren't hiding from the world and letting their life / house crumble around themselves... I just feel alone but alone feels a good place to retreat to at times.... a lot of the time.....

Thanks for your kind thoughts and suggestions too Pepper, Geoff, and Mary.... I think talking to a GP about things like that health plan is a good idea. checked with my GP place and they do them so have to see if I can make an appt tomorrow after work.. and try not to find an excuse to not do so....

fingers crossed...

[White_Rose]

Hello Edgeball

Yes, sometimes saying the obvious is obvious, but just making sure all bases are covered.

Technically an employer cannot fire you for making a justifiable complaint but of course it doesn't always happen that way. So probably best to get your new job and walk out, stopping only to send the complaint to the federal Govt. agency.

Glad you are going to make an appointment to see your GP. Make it a long appointment as you will be talking for a while.

Mary

[Peppermintbach]

Hi edgeball,

It's great to hear from you again 🙂 Thanks for checking in...

I can empathise with your feelings of dejectness and frustration.

Plus your boss sounds truly horrible to work for...

I'm glad to hear that you're planning to see your GP. The fact that you're even considering it now is a great first step. Well done.

Kind thoughts,

Pepper