Scopophobic

[No_Eye_Control]

I have been living with one fairly specific form of Social Phobia in particular, for my entire life, I am now 55. The most debilitating aspect is a fear of when speaking to someone, having another person in my line of vision (observing me). It makes me feel extremely anxious and no matter how hard I either try to control myself, (or even don't try to control myself, I have tried so many strategies), I always end up looking at the observing person rather than the person that I am trying to converse with. This causes me to not be able to concentrate on what is being said, makes the observing person feel uncomfortable enough to usually turn away, and the person that I am speaking to thinks that I am not interested, as I cannot maintain eye contact, and actually just want to flee the whole situation, no matter how much I would like to continue the conversation. I think the worst part of this for me is that I notice the observing persons discomfort and can only imagine they are thinking that there is something quite strange about me, and that maybe I am thinking about them rather than the person I am speaking to, (which is actually true, but I am only really feeling fear of them). Most people are usually so sympathetic towards my obvious discomfort that they will mercifully end the conversation if they are the speaker, or turn away if they are the observer. I am very grateful for this but am also always left so disappointed in myself and sad that I cannot be a normal social person. This particular uncontrollable behaviour has caused me to feel defective, alienated and disconnected and resulted in so much misery, isolation, missed opportunities, and depression throughout my life. I would be very grateful to hear from anyone else who suffers from this specific form of social phobia, sometimes labelled as Scopophobia, with some OCD in the form of uncontrollable eye movement, and underlying and automatic thoughts, which are also uncontrollable.

[White_Rose]

Dear No Eye Control

Hello and welcome to the forum. So pleased you have posted here and thank you for telling us your story. I have never heard of that form of social phobia. I simply presumed you had a social phobia to whatever degree or you did not. It sounds like a hard and lonely road you travel.

Have you tried therapy with a psychologist or psychiatrist? If so, how did it go? I get the impression that your situation has been put in the too hard basket and I am hoping I am wrong. I did a quick scan of the web and asked Dr Google for his opinion. It seems there are treatments for this illness though how they work I have no idea. If you do not already see a mental health specialist, maybe this is a good time to try.

I'm sorry I do not have anything specific about your illness. I can continue this conversation and offer support if that will help. Perhaps others will be able to talk with you.

Mary

[CJames]

Hi, No Eye Control

I don't believe I suffer from Scopophobia but...

You're in a completely normal situation here, just some worse than others. I know I sometimes get awkward with eye contact especially in specific conversations, teachers, eg. I often wipe my face to look away then return, (I look like someone who cannot get something off their face) I do not know what it is because it only occurs in certain situations.

Do you ever stare at the person you're holding a conversation with eyebrows? I look at some people and think why do you have a monobrow or at least look housekeeping of their eyebrows (How weird ay), it takes my mind off the anxiety of someone looking at me.

Not saying you have to look at someone's eyebrows, stare at a feature on their face and think to yourself why is that there while still contributing to the conversation. It's a weird tactic, but it works for me.

Don't be afraid to mention to someone that you suffer from Scopophobia, it's nothing to be worried about.

Wish you the best of luck,

Keep us updated.

C.

[White_Rose]

Hello NEC

Dropping in to see how you are feeling today.

You said, This particular uncontrollable behaviour has caused me to feel defective, alienated and disconnected and resulted in so much misery, isolation, missed opportunities, and depression throughout my life. It is really terrible to feel this way.

What happens when you look at yourself in the mirror? Do you have these same uncontrollable feelings? I wonder how useful it would be to practice, so to speak, talking in front of a mirror. Is that a silly suggestion?

Do you have anyone you feel comfortable enough to tell them about your difficulty? You have good writing skills which I presume come from a need to communicate. Certainly your post was clear. If there is someone, can you write to that person and ask if they would be willing to help you. I say write because you will not get distracted by your thoughts and possible presence of someone else.

Arrange to meet your person, if they agree, in a quiet spot or possibly at home. I expect in your initial letter you will need to give a reason and possibly some indication of why you need help. Write down the difficulties you have explained above for your meeting but try to verbalise what you have written. Use the prepared letter only if you are having trouble talking.

I don't know if this will help in any way, just an idea. Please keep writing.

Mary