Really struggling today

[Abbeycat]

Hi,

I'm new to Beyond Blue but not new to mental health struggles. My main issues are dealing with quite severe depression and complex PTSD. I've had many hospitalisations and the last one was 2 months ago. This is the longest period of relative stability I've had this year.

However the past few days have been really hard. I've made it to work today (don't have sick leave and I need the money) but I'm not sure how I'm going to get through the day. Hopefully I can just hide in my office and no one will notice anything.

I'm feeling very flat, low and empty. I don't usually sleep well and have lots of nightmares, and the last few nights have been particularly bad so maybe that's why this is happening.

Thankfully tomorrow is the weekend. I'm planning to withdraw from the world and stay at home. I know that that is probably not going to help, but I'm not sure what else to do.

I don't have much support. I live alone and my main sources of support are my medical professionals (and of course they don't work on the weekends). I don't have any family. I do have a couple of friends but I don't let them in too close as I've lost quite a few friends in the past because they see me as too much of a "burden".

Any suggestions gratefully accepted.

[Soberlicious96]

Dear Abbeycat,

Welcome to Beyond Blue, and well done for sharing with us. And for making it into work on a day when you'd rather be hiding under the doona.

I get that. I too am not new to mental health struggles. I was diagnosed with severe PTSD and depression anxiety at the age of 14. I am now edging closer to 50, and it's only in the last couple of years that I have actually been well.

Oh, and the nightmares ....... yeah, I wish I could say they go eventually but unfortunately they have not gone completely. Just lessened in their frequency. Which I suppose is better than no improvement at all, hey?!

The other good news is that even though your medical support people may not be available on the weekend, Beyond Blue certainly is! You can post here, and browse around all the other posts as much as you like. AND you can do it from the privacy of your own home too, without having to face people. Not that I am one to encourage ongoing isolation ....... but I guess we all need a little 'time-out' sometimes.

Maybe try and remember this; "Just for today I will try to live through this day, this moment only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once." Like you said, it's the weekend soon.

Maybe you could use some of your time, over the weekend, to research some more mental health support in your area, as well as the medical support? Like for example, I have actually found support groups on Facebook (of all things) to be quite beneficial. It means I can have access to something 24 hours a day, and I don't need to book in for anything, nor does it cost me any more money. Maybe you could think of/look for something like that, yeah?

Anyway, I don't know if that helps or not. I hope it does at least a little. Anyway, take care. And now it's noon as I type, which means, when you read this, you have made it already to the halfway mark! In the meantime, you can come back here as much as you like. And if you'd like to reply, then that's great. I'll be thinking of you. xo