Owed to Solitude

[amd1953]

I owe a lot to my current situation in life.   In fact, it's probably as close to heaven on earth that I will ever get.   I've served my apprenticeship in the School of Hard Knocks.   It was actually a life sentence with no time off for good behaviour.   I think it was Mr. W. Shakespeare who said "All the world's a stage".   And that is precisely what we are - actors on a stage.   Some of us play our parts really well and fool the audience into actually believing what we say we are.   Then there are those who find it impossible to be anything other than what they are.   Not good actors at all.   That's where I make my entrance.   But I don't play to the audience any more because it is a complete and utter waste of time and effort.   Now that I have settled into retirement, I can stop the acting and the pretence and be whatever I choose to be.   It's a great pity that we have to spend the greater part of our lives playing to an audience.   Some people get away with turning their backs on the bright lights and sink into blissful anonymity.   This is what I am trying to do now so that I can gather a little happiness around me before I drop off the perch.   When I think back, I seem to have spent so much time trying to keep everyone else happy and giving in to do things when I don't want to.   I never had the nerve to say no so I guess I was a real pushover.   I think it's time to turn the page on the script and write my own dialogue for a change.   Or is that asking too much?   I'm not really sure myself.   Maybe I am expecting too much.   Shame on me eh?   But there will come a time when I run out of choices and that will be the end of it.   The curtain comes down on another production.   I only hope it doesn't come too soon.   If we do what we want to when we want to do it, we are called selfish.   I have nothing left to give.   It's all gone.   The audience have gone home and the stage is a dusty platform waiting for the next deception.   Sorry, production.

[amd1953]

Greetings Ems,

I would like to think that Alfred is Alfred Polly from The History of Mr. Polly by HG Wells.   It could also be King Alfred who burned the cakes and was scolded by a peasant woman.   There was also an Alfred Marks who was a comedian.   However, enough of that.

We have received a lot of rain today and overnight and I have discovered that it is getting into my roof and through the ceiling once again.   It is very frustrating because I thought I had managed to prevent it from getting in.   I then thought that it was an interesting analogy of life.   To me, in my world, I seem to lurch from one drama to the next and no matter what I do or do not do, it is a never-ending cascade of problems and situations that need attending to.   Having done something about the rain, I had hoped that it was fixed but it has reappeared to provide me with more worry and grief.   Did I not do enough repairs to solve the problem or is the rain getting in somewhere else?   I will have to see when it is daylight and if it has stopped raining.   I am always disappointed if I do something and then find that it wasn't good enough.   I can't expect it not to rain on my house, so it is something I have to deal with.   I just wish nature would give me a break now and then.   It would be as Mr Badger says in The Wind in the Willows, "Once well underground, you know exactly where you are.   Nothing can get at you."   Well, that is my ramble for this morning.   I am getting tired again so I might go back to my pile of straw.

My thoughts are with you

Stay safe

9315 mda

[Emotions26]

Hello 9315 mda

Well when I received your letter, (yes I think of them as letters), I scurried to look up who Mr Polly was.

An interesting style of writing, very dated of course due to the year that the infamous H G Wells wrote the book. At the beginning I felt some underlying humour almost as I would in reading a riddle. As the story grew and saddened the humour disappeared. I did not read the ending only reaching the part where he was planning several ways to depart. It is probably unfair of me to form an opinion therefore on a book that I did not read the whole of. I can only say that I would not choose to read any further.

What was your impression of the full story amd as you have read the whole book I believe.

King Alfred burning the cakes yes is a well known childhood story. True history or a fable? Who can truly say?

I remember enjoying that book.

Alfred Marks the comedian a well known member of The Goon Show. I vaguely remember watching some episodes. My father controlled the television set when we eventually got one. Not because we could not afford one, more because Dad did not see the need and I also quietly think that he did not want his two daughters watching television at a younger age. Hence the controlling of programmes. I used to leave the room when the cricket came on.

We had several days of heavy rain here and the small meandering river opposite was rushing down quite quickly. I managed a walk the day that it stopped and the frogs were very busy croaking. Different birdlife and ducks by the waters edge near the ravines, wetland areas as well. I love it. I recorded the sounds again on my phone. I love listening to the sound of rushing water and hearing birdlife, frogs in the background.

I was thinking about your roof and rain issue. When I lived near the city I lived in a 1910 symmetrical cottage that had been extended. When they added onto the back they put a box gutter in between the two roof formations. This I learnt about after my original 1910 ceiling collapsed at about 3.30am one morning. Subsequent assessment from insurance company told me about the downsides of box gutter usage.

I am thinking, of course I do not know, that you have a leak elsewhere. No need to chastise yourself for your previous work. Roofs often sprout new leaks in different areas.

The other thing which you are probably aware of is have you gutters been cleaned out recently? That causes water to be redirected to places that it should not and leaking.

Yes we want it to continue to rain in this very dry country. How do they manage in UK  and Europe? We need rain. We just do not need leaking roofs.  Very frustrating for you.

Pile of straw you say. At least you do not have to make your bed. Then again you did mention previously more movement of beds.  Is that still ongoing?

Your writing is for everyone as you express yourself so well. I know that your words are read by many. I do not understand why more people do not use the support button. An anomaly.

Enjoy your writing and your latest interest in gardening.

Where I am about to head off now.

The bluebird has not been seen back here yet.

Sme 2 & 6

[Emotions26]

Hello MmMe

I do intend to write back to you. I want to respond to several posts about your thoughts on writing.

I thought that I had. My mind is a tad confused at the moment.

I will reply when I have more time and can write something that hopefully makes sense

Ems

[mmMekitty]

Hello Ems & Amd

I think I've said, I like the 'support' button. I enjoy seeing someone, (in the Notifications area I can see who) has supported my or others posts, on threads I've posted to.

No pressure, Ems. I put my thoughts out here, for your to consider, but you don't actually have to respond by posting a reply. I hope I can give you something to think about. That's all.

I'm getting used to thinking this way, because so very often now, I can't remember what I wrote. I'm not remembering so much it's hard to keep up & to be involved in these online discussions. So, I am thinking, this is how it is, mmMekitty. You can put the thoughts yu have in the moment for others to read, think about & take in &/or reject as suits them. &I am not actually writing with the expectation that I will have to remember to return, remember what was said before, & relate everything anyone might say in response to an earlier post I or someone else wrote, which I don't remember. ..  & I apologise if that was a confusing explanation.

In any event, no one is obliged to respond to anyone's post. It's very nice when people do, when I see they have made a thoughtful & caring response, though - very lovely, in fact.

But don't you fret.

If anything I've said helps you think about what you want to do with your writing, then that's the best I hope for. The best I think anyone can hope for, really, is that we are open enough to think about what others have to say, to hear another's perspective, & & maybe, discover something we hadn't considered before, something that may change our own thinking.

Being open to others perspectives & experiences can be like opening a window & letting in a fresh breeze, or the rain, or the perfume from blooming flowers, or to the sounds of those birds, frogs & flowing water. It's like being open to multiple possibilities, is what I'm trying to say.

& thanks Amd, I have thought how well you express yourself, too, both you & Ems. & many here, on BB too. Some may not have the education, but they sure still are able to express themselves!

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[amd1953]

Good morning, Kitty,

Well said again, about keeping an open mind and being willing to listen to other points of view.   Instead of being a stagnant pool of water we can be a flowing river, racing down to the sea and letting our thoughts and ideas float on the waves that carry us beyond the horizon.   Beyond the blue horizon.   

As for writing.   I have days when I cannot type fast enough on my keyboard to capture everything before it fades away into oblivion.   Then there are days when I am almost lost for words because something has overtaken me.  Some days I feel part of this world and others when I could not be further away from it.   A stranger in a strange land.   I just let my mind wander and see where it leads me.   It might be a childhood memory or something I have read that sets me off on another course of thought.   Shaping it and making sense of it is like the dynamics of an oil painting.   We have our subject, but we have to decide on the right pose.   What is the background and foreground?   So many variations on a theme.   We mix our colours on our palette and then, we apply them.   Imagination determines success.

Regards

amd1953

[Emotions26]

Hello mmMe

I finally remembered that I had not replied to your response.  The survey for the writing group was for all members not me personally. Just in case I managed to confuse you. The questions were around publishing; quite specific to what currently occurs within the meetings. That is how it read to me.  I did attempt to reply as I had to the previous questionnaire and on every occasion my feelings were I cannot vote on something that I have not yet experienced. I ended up ringing the chair person who was my original contact and had a chat to her about it. She laughed and told me not to dwell on it, just come along.  I asked her some questions about the group of people attending and found out that there is another beginner. Wonderful! So I let her know that I will be the beginning beginner. Fortunately she has a sense of humour as does the secretary who has also reassured me in email responses. So I even asked for some homework before the meeting. She said what now for the first meeting? I said why not.  I actually have made two different versions. The first a couple of hours after the phone call with her. The second yesterday. Now I just need to type the one I might read out (might being the operative word and I have been told that there is no pressure). I can take along poetry as well. My poetry is too depressing.  So after receiving more bad news yesterday morning, following a difficult phone call the night before; I am quite hyped. I hope that this does not mar my first meeting.

I can understand your feeling the loss of your previous writing. That would be very hard. I wondered if you had a worker, or visitor who might be willing to read some of your previous work out loud to you.

You  asked me what I am looking for in the writing group which is a good question. My answer until I attend the first one is I am not sure. Direction at some stage yes just not sure what kind yet. I don't share my writing with anyone other than occasionally the deeper stuff with my therapist. At this point in time and I am not sure if this will ever change, I am not interested in publishing anything. I am not even planning on writing a book. I just want to be able to get my head around the fact that what I have been writing down as it flows through my mind is considered "writing". I have attempted very short stories and I mean very short as in only about 300-400 words maximum. As for genres I am not ready to think that far ahead. Humour already flows naturally at times so that is a start. They do critiques already which will be good. From what I can gather they are all at different stages which makes sense. My concept of editing is my reading what I have written and correcting it. Whether or not it is an improvement is up to the reader I imagine. Did you get to a Christmas event? I have been to one which I actually enjoyed and the meal was lovely. Very fresh. I have another next week.

There will be a funeral on the horizon so not sure when due to the time of year. I imagine the week after Christmas and it is interstate.  I have been up since 3.15am this morning. Second night in a row with no sleep so this might explain the higgledy piggledy reply.  I hope that you have at least one worker supporting you now.  Take care

Ems

[amd1953]

Saluti Ems,

Perhaps if you watched the 1949 movie starring John Mills as Mr. Polly, it might place the novel in a less formidable light.   Nothing bad happens to him, I can assure you of that.   The situations that he finds himself in are absurd which I think provides the comedic element.   I have only read the novel once, but I couldn't tell you how many times I have watched the movie.   

I think my leaking roof will be an ongoing issue, so I am keeping the lifeboat handy just in case I have to abandon ship in the middle of a torrential downpour.   I have checked the guttering, and it all seems to be fine.

Yes, moving my bed around from room to room is a rather eccentric thing to be doing but I have the feeling it will always be that way until I reach an age when I will no longer be able to manoeuvre  anything larger than a bread box.

For the past few days, I have been working out in the garden and have made progress in bracken and bramble management.   I spent a small fortune on a brush cutter a couple of weeks ago and it was well worth the investment.   You have to be careful where you aim the thing because it chops things off at the roots.   It tends to destroy everything in its path which I suppose is the point of having one of these things.   Much more effective than a whippersnipper/line trimmer.   The next purchase will probably be a chain saw because I have a few dead trees lying around the place.   Yesterday I was sitting in the shade of my cherry tree, and it was so peaceful listening to the different birdsongs and hearing the wind through the trees.   Nothing better than communing with nature.   I had the idea of planting some more trees in my paddock and making a kind of miniature woodland.   I would have all different species.   What a sight that would be.   There I go, daydreaming again.

Anyway, that is all from me for now.

Sending you a Christmas bluebird express post.

Arrivederci 

A Midsummer Dream 1593

[mmMekitty]

Hello Ems, 

The writers' group, Ems, sounds great, with people who have a sense of humour & at least one other beginner. They do seem to be wanting to welcome you with warmth & generosity.

When I was young, still living at home, one thing I learned from my parents was to never say "I don't know". What rubbish, eh? It had taken me a long time, (not sure how long, years, twenty years, give or take a decade), to learn that "I don't know" is a perfectly legitimate answer when we simply don't have the information, or don't understand how to answer. When I was young I couldn't have said that I don't understand the question, or how in heck I was supposed to know the answer to what they were asking. I would have been taken to task for that, too.

So, I now know, it's okay to not know everything, or even pretend to, I think, not knowing anything is the best place to start learning, to start exploring.

& 'Flash fiction' is a specific form of writing, not nearly as easy as it may seem.

Editing can be about checking for spelling, grammar & punctuation mistakes, as well as getting rid of unnecessary words, like 'just' & 'very' (two I have to watch for the most) to name just two - I think this use of 'just' is okay, by the way. & old clichés & repeating the same words or phrases many times to no useful purpose. That's the basic bones of editing. Later, you can look for whether the words speak with a voice of a narrator, or if the speech of characters reads like real people, each as individual characters.

When someone is careful & considerate about their critiquing & editing suggestions, they will give you reasonsf or what their opinions. They ought to speak only to the writing, not get into any personal criticism of yourself. They ought give positive feedback as well.

It takes practice, trying various, often small changes, to begin recognising when your own editing either improves or doesn't, what you've written. I've made changes because the person doing the editing didn't seem to have comprehended why I'd written the way I had, realising it wasn't as clear as I'd thought. That's a good reason to edit, after all, writing is about communicating clearly, ideas, thoughts, feelings. Yes, even to ourselves.

*

May I ask, have you had a recent loss, hence the funeral? If you'd like to talk about how you are feeling, coping, anything, please do.

*

I've got a couple workers, now, for now... I'm not completely happy with either of them.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[amd1953]

Good morning, Kitty,

Some questions will never be answered, on a personal level, that is.   We may already have the answers but are unable or unwilling to understand what it means in context.   I recently heard a TV sitcom character say that they have been waiting their whole lives for something nice to happen to them.   Whether that signifies that they have failed to make themselves happy enough to appreciate and enjoy life or if they were waiting patiently for someone else to make their life enjoyable.   For some of us, we may never experience that sense of elation from something that pleases us while, for others, they receive gratification every day.

I understand what you mean by saying you don't know.   For me it was almost in reverse because I was indoctrinated with the idea that I didn't know anything worth knowing.   Parents, teachers, adults were always the ones who knew everything and were always right.   We were required to be seen and not heard.   To be, as it were, almost invisible.   Even now, I feel that I can never know everything and how much can I possibly know.

I liked your comments about editing.   Someone once said that to be a truly great writer we must make every word work for their keep.   Also keeping a tight rein on cliches and not allowing them to force their way into what we are writing.   The current trend seems to be on encouraging people learning to write, to show not tell.   I have a huge problem with this idea because if we spend too much time and effort on trying to paint a picture with words then readers lose the flow of the narrative.   Reading fiction is like looking at a giant canvas of characters and events.   Some novels start with a beginning and finish with an ending.   Others jump all over the scenes as the narrative unfolds.   There is no hard beginning and often the denouement of the story becomes clouded by descriptive obsession.   I was taught to choose a scene early in the story and define the characters who will make the story come to life.   Anyway, I think I may have said enough.

Kind Regards

AmD1953

[mmMekitty]

Hello Amd,

I often think this little text box is way too small, & doesn't allow me to expand on topics enough for how I tend to ramble in my explanations.

I was encouraged to 'show, not tell', & it is difficult. Even the professional money-making authors don't get it right all the time. Now I am aware of 'show, not tell', I somethimes forget to relax & enjoy the book, finding myself being critical, especially when the story is 'telling' not 'showing'. These texts can seem as dry as biscuits.

While my parents insisted, kids do not speak unless spoken to (by adults), & we would have answers to any questions put to us by them, from "Where's your brother?" to "When are you going to grow up?", they also haeld the attitude that they knew infinitely more than we did, could not do wrong, make no mistakes, too.

I love the (1: fact you have a cherry tree, & (2: you want to plant more trees, all different. That would be so wonderful, I don't mind admitting to feeling jealous!

I am well-aware that I have questions that will never be answered. I've held onto some questions long enough. Lately, it seems to me, if I continue to try to dig anymore for answers, or try to sort out which scraps have any value now, then I will only be causing myself more pain, so, I'm thinking, it's time to let the questions go.

Hugzies

mmMekitty