Overwhelmed and feelings of Uselessness

[Sammy74]

Hi everyone

thos is all very new to me.

i suffer depression and not feeling too well at all.

most days I’m overwhelmed by feelings of guilt for exsisting.

not something I’m proud of by any means however I wanted to reach out to see if others feel the same.

im a busy Mum and career woman who dors a good job of hiding my nerves and fears from all around me.

id really be grateful for any advice.

warm regards

Sammy

[blondguy]

Hi Sammy74

Thanks for posting (again) as it takes a heap of courage to do so

Im sorry that you are feeling overwhelmed....I understand exactly what you are going through and its exhausting

Just out of respect for you....I used to have chronic anxiety which did reduce a lot after 13 years....Then depression kicked in for 22 years....overwhelmed...mentally exhausted all the time.....It was and can still be awful. I also did what you do....hide my 'tired' mind from everyone too

I have a couple of friends that wont post on the forums which is fine as they wish to 'self heal' which I tried to do for many years until my health really started to crumble....my career in senior management...my personal life

Can I ask you if you have a a couple of people you can confide (vent) to? Also a good GP can work wonders now as their understanding about our mental health is a lot better than the 1980's when I was in my 20's and suffering from you are now...I still see my GP every 4 weeks for a fine tune and support

There is no judgement on the forums....just support from many gentle people like yourself Sammy.

I really hope you can post back if you choose too. The forums are a rock solid safe place for you to post. Your privacy is paramount here

You are not alone in any way at all

My Kind thoughts for you

Paul

[geoff]

hi Sammy, it's always difficult posting your first comment because you may have tried to press post but couldn't do it, so you edit the post but still afraid to press post, until finally it becomes too much and you decide to post it, well done for doing so, and welcome.

You have come to a good site where all of us have had to struggle with depression of any type, and there are some who still find it difficult today but reply back to people because that's what they want to do.

If you are a working mum then you may pretend to everybody else that you are OK when in fact you're not, because you may have depression, well that's exactly what I did for a long time, but it finally becomes too exhausting.

Trying to be a mum as well as working doesn't give you much time to yourself or to see your doctor, who may prescribe you with medication, because this is what I suggest for you to do, but would love to hear back from you. Geoff.

[CMF]

Hi Sammy and welcome,

I'm sorry to hear of your struggles and I'm glad you have reached out here. Paul and Geoff have posted great comments. I take my hat off to you, working AND being a mum. How old are your children? Do you have time for YOU?

Wishing you all the best.

CMF

[Josh_K_B]

Sammy74 said:

most days I’m overwhelmed by feelings of guilt for exsisting.

not something I’m proud of by any means however I wanted to reach out to see if others feel the same.

Hi Sammy,

Thank you for your post.

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling overwhelmed by feelings of guilt.

For me, one of the hardest parts in feeling depressed/anxious is to reach out and seek outside help, whether that be to friends and family or an online community such as this.

But you've done that, which can be very daunting, so well done!

For what it's worth, I struggle A LOT with feelings of guilt. I couldn't imagine the additional pressures you have with working while also tending to your children..

Please understand that your feelings of guilt with existence ARE a manifestation of your mental health and is a natural symptom of depression/anxiety.

As much as it might seem like you don't have the time, in addition to posting on this forum, I highly recommend seeking a health professional that you can also confide in.

Having a mental health professional that you trust and can confide in is invaluable!

I love mine just because I can use him as a sounding board, where I can throw my concerns and worries at him, and he is able to break down what is a real concern and what is a manifestation of my mental health.

I found my GP through the Beyond Blue website via --> https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/find-a-professional

I hope some of this helps.

Take care and try not to be too hard on yourself.

Josh 🙂

[Tams20]

Hi Sammy,

I can relate to this - I am a full time working mum of two and sole-earner for my family with a successful career in a male-dominated industry... to show any sort of weakness or vulnerability would be detrimental to my career so I have learned to hide my anxiety and depression from everyone. I put up walls and I don’t let anyone in. It can be a very lonely place.

This tactic hasn’t worked so well for me lately and I’ve been struggling to hold myself together. I’ve just commenced taking medication in the hope that I will get myself under control and start to feel better.

Unfortunately I can’t offer any advice - just wanted to tell you you’re not alone!

Tams

[Croix]

Dear Tams20~
I’d like to welcome you to the forum and was delighted to see that straight away you had reached out to support someone else. I guess it shows a caring disposition.

I have a feeling that the level of friendship you are having now with this woman is one you do not normally experience. You did say due to your work environment you tended to be on guard as a matter of habit, and that even extends to your family. In my own case shared experience has made a load of difference and I’ve found myself opening up far more than I’d intended on occasion.

Being recently diagnosed and on on meds for a few weeks I guess lots of things are unfamiliar territory at the moment.

I’m not sure that what you call self-sabotage is a good description, do you think it might be a reaction to the level of trust and empathy you are extending? It can be pretty scary after all. You sound – as the sole breadwinner, mother and partner as if you rely a lot on yourself, not others.

There are a couple of excellent things in your posts – well more than a couple actually. Having sought medical help is a big step, and it looks like you are approaching the matter sensibly, going back to review your regime quickly and not letting things drag on.

The other major thing is your friend sounds quite perceptive, having the wisdom to realize some of your more extravagant activities are not what they might seem on the surface.

OK, so you are worried you are doing her damage, and don’t understand why your moods swing as they do. It sounds to me that the friendship is good enough for you to be able to speak frankly. If you don’t know why sometimes you explode say so. If you are concerned you are upsetting or otherwise making life difficult for her than say that too.

Taking the opportunity to assure her you will be there for her if she needs it in the future, it is not just a ‘fun’ acquaintanceship might be a good idea too.

So what do you think?

Croix

[Croix]

Dear Sammy74~

First off please excuse me posting to Tams20 here, I hope you do not mind.

Now I read what you had to say and although I'm in very different circumstances I found there was a lot in common.

Being busy with a career, a parent, feeling the effects of depression and feeling ill. All the negative and guilty feelings hidden behind a mask that everything is OK. It sounds pretty familiar.

I'm much better now and can see that for my improvement to take place I had to take the mask off - at least with my doctor, and after that with my partner - I was incredibly lucky to have an understanding and capable one who wanted to stick with me.

That mask - pretending to the world - was harmful, or so I believe. It make me feel completely isolated - all on my own. On the one side was the whole world with everyone in it, and on the other was me, with all my faults. It was terrible for my feelings of self esteem too, if I had to hide the true me, what did that say?

As Paul, Geoff and Josh have suggested, seeing your GP (in a long consultation) and saying all that you feel is the way to go. If you are already under treatment them please go back and say your regime needs to be looked at, it does not appear to be working properly. Regimes do need adjustment sometimes.

Talking to someone face-to-face about such things can be hard and worrying. I've written everything down first and then just shared the paper. It made it easier for everyone and made sure the doctor had the best idea possible of what needed to be treated.

I do hope you return and talk more, it can help lighten the burden

Croix