No one can help me but me.

[Kanangra]

Hi everyone. I've recently come to the conclusion that no-one can help me but myself.

I was diagnosed with depression about 10 years ago, however, I feel I've had it much longer. Now, though, something has changed. I feel so much worse. I have asked for help so many times, but just can't find it. I was referred to a Psychiatrist and that has left me even worse than before and now completely broke. That took every penny of my savings and has left me in debt. I feel that they have tossed me aside like rubbish beside the road.

I feel that every time I ask for help, I just don't fit into the 'box' of people that can be helped.

The lovely people I've spoken to at Lifeline, Beyond Blue and Community Mental Health have been fantastic, but their hands are pretty much tied. I'm sure they would love to be able to do more, but they just don't have the resources.

So I either help myself, or I get worse. There is no help to get if I can't pay for it. I don't have the strength to keep asking for help.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

This community is a great place to be, we are here 24/7 and we are supportive. You will largely talk with sufferers of mental health that have the history and the ability to convey ideas...even is futile we try.

So, in my case I'm bipolar2, depression and dysthymia (low mood constant depression) and anxiety that I licked all by myself over a 20 year period.

I suffer with stress and over sensitivity. My poetry comes from my dysthymia. With depression I have turned all my knowledge into threads on this site that I'll list a few at the end of this post. I had all this all my life and am 63yo but...I wasn't diagnosed till 47yo and even then it was wrong (ADHD) and so took the wrong meds for 6 years until properly diagnosed.

I'd say for me depression is responsible for losing some control over ourselves. This loss of control be it sleep, motivation, low energy, moods, headaches etc is not easy to tolerate. We have two options after medication is correct and dosage is fine tuned.

Acceptance- once we accept our illness as being part of ourselves we can move forward

Make allowances- we are unwell, we need to treat ourselves and our situation as a unique challenge that isn't found in text books. In a way we have to tailor our life to suit our illness.

So here are some threads. Just read the first post if you like. Use Google

Beyondblue topic Depression and the timing of motivation

Beyondblue topic DEPRESSION – is there any positive?

Beyondblue topic You are sliding…what can you do?

Beyondblue topic Acceptance, is this our biggest challenge?

Beyondblue topic Depression triggers

Beyondblue Depression, distraction and variety

Beyondblue topic The best praise you’ll ever get.

Please give them a go. I'm here nearly every day. I don't mind reposting. So I'll chat later.

TonyWK

[Kanangra]

Thanks so much White Knight for your empathy, understanding and compassion. I think in the last 6 months I have finally accepted that this will always be a part of my life. Maybe part of what I'm feeling now is a kind of grief for the life I wanted to have. I will never be 'fixed'. But I am hoping to have more understanding and learn to live with it.

Thank you again and I will read through all your threads in the coming days.

[blondguy]

Hi Kanangra

Great to have you as part of the forum family and thankyou for posting too!

TonyWK has a wealth of information in his post above as you have seen. I used to have chronic anxiety which lifted yet was followed by depression and its an awful place to be in for sure

Tony also mentioned 'Acceptance' of our depression....This is an excellent point as using acceptance will bring more peace into your life

My GP helped me with my depression big time...I still see him every 4 weeks for years. Can I ask if you have a GP that you can make a double appointment with? There are many GP's out there with excellent skills where depression is concerned

Im just happy you are here with us Kanangra

If you have any questions you are very welcome to ask. The forums are judgement free too. We are more than happy to help you help yourself

I hope you can post back when its convenient for you

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Skary Bill]

Hi Kanangra,

You've had a couple of great replies and I can't add very much to that.. But I just wanted to say hello, let you know that I totally dig where you're coming from and at some point I too decided that I was going to have to take care of things myself too. Not at the exclusion of professional help, but that ultimately I would need to take charge of my journey and be the one to drive the process.

You've found a pretty great place here. I've only been here a couple of months now, but being able to talk to people who get it, has been very positive for me. I actually find myself with growing confidence in my ability to move forward. I sure hope you stick around and do the same.

Cheers,

Bill.

[Kanangra]

Thank you all, White Knight, Blonde Guy and Skary Bill for your kind messages. I'm sure you understand how good it feels to be me and to receive these.
A little update on where I'm at now, a few days after my first post. My local Community Mental Health Centre have been amazing. I've had one face-to-face with them. And they call me every few days. They have made an appointment for me with their Psychiatrist for a meds check. And today they've made another appointment for me with a Clinical Psychologist. They are being so kind it's making me cry.
I've been asking for help in so many places, and it seems I'm now getting it. I feel better just knowing that I have some mental health care direction.
White Knight, your words of Acceptance have resonated with me, and at my age of 50, it makes sense to me to learn to accept that this is me, rather than trying to fight it.
Onwards and Upwards. Thanks again everyone. I hope to keep you posted with my progress.

[white knight]

Well Kanangra that's great news.

It uplifts us to hear this from our members.

We are here if you want to keep us updated or a chat.

Thankyou

TonyWK

[Kanangra]

Thanks TonyWK. Oh, I'm definately staying right here. I'm incredibly grateful that I've found this group. Right now, I'm feeling ok. But the rest of the day has been pretty bad. But this is better than yesterday, where I don't think I felt ok at all. I'm counting all my small blessings.

[Skary Bill]

Hey Kanangra,

That's some pretty awesome news about the community centre you've connected with. Good to know that persistence can pay off. I hope the rest of your day is good to you. Gather your energy for a good day tomorrow. 🙂

Cheers,

Bill.

[blondguy]

Hi Kanangra

Like Bill mentioned.....Good on YOU for having some joy with local Community Mental Health Centre!

I understand the roller coaster ride that you are on....those lows can be awful for sure

Thank-you so much for your great feedback (thumbs up!)

Please be 'gentle' with yourself

my kind thoughts

Paul