No matter how hard I try...

[Vvp]

hi all

i suffer from extreme loneliness, anxiety and Ptsd. Every day is a struggle for me but the nights are the worst. I have had a lot of people betray me and left me heartbroken, so my social circle and my trust in people are very little. I find myself crying myself to sleep every night, is there anyone here who experience the same issues, what strategy’s do u use and is anyone looking for each others shoulder to lean upon like me?

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I understand.

The real issue I think with loneliness is that apart from the conventional ways to meet and befriends people is things like hobbies and sports. To do that you need a natural interest. Eg model airplanes, an old hobby of mine. You wouldnt go to the trouble of entering that hobby to meet people unless- you had that passion in your life. You cant create a passion....passions come naturally.

The other serious problem is people themselves. You've mentioned how others have hurt you in the past. There could be multiple reasons for this- incompatibility, befriending nasty people but only finding out down the track, being a vulnerable person that seems to attract narcissists, personality traits that make you a victim easily and so on.

In the above cases people like you and me did not develop defensive strategies when young, like a filter system whereby one screens people for a few months prior to trusting them.

If you think thats the case then google this-

Beyondblue topic fortress of survival

Beyondblue topic fortress of survival part 2

Beyondblue topic fortress of survival part 3

Being of the type that isnt popular doesnt mean there is anything wrong with you. Popularity isnt a measure of normality. In fact I'm glad I'm not popular as my inventiveness and creativity means I'm an individual, unique.

So in your case you need to seek out a person that is compatible. The speedy way is computer dating. My daughter married that way.

I hope I've helped.

TonyWK

[Angel_Joy]

Heh, sorry I'm just going around seeing what everyone else says. Umm, don't know if this will help. Just to let you know that I am lonely and have anxiety. I have a friend who has ptsd, he goes through alot. Somedays he is happy, other days he doesn't feel good. But, he did tell me that I have helped him with his feelings. I had made him more positive and optimistic. Heh. Yeah umm, I'm here if you want someone to talk to. I would never hurt anyone, thats against my nature. I am here if you want anything.


Sincerely yours, Angel_Joy.

[mocha delight]

No sorry vvp but I just want you to know know if you ever need to chat I’m here for you and I’m a very good listener 🤗.

[JoannaJay]

Hi there,

I understand only too well why you are feeling like you do. With PTSD comes the depression,loneliness and feelings of doubt over your self worth. You have obviously gone through similar trauma in relationships to a lot of us,and you are unintentionally punishing yourself,as unfortunately if we have been in traumatic situations since we were young,as I have,because of being put down and made to feel unworthy,we tend to go for partners who at the merest sign of affection or love,we think they are our white knights,without really getting to know them in tough situations An older male Nurse at a psychiatric unit was really helpful when I was admitted decades ago,with Post Natal Psychosis and explained that to me. When my husband was aggressive and nasty Xmas Day,I went into complete depression,couldn’t move off the bed,felt like no one cared if I lived or died My GP was away,and apart from my twin,I had no other support. She suffers same conditions as me,due to our childhood,although she lives alone,and she was able help to get me out of it,albeit very slowly. One person suggested you get interests,and I know that’s hard to do when you are feeling so miserable and lacking in confidence,but I love knitting and craft work,and i’m in a couple of Collectable groups,as that was my trade You are a wonderful person,you have as much right to feel worthy of friendship than others I just found a new group online,that caters for many cities and suburbs for over 55’s and am going to join,and try and widen my small circle of friends too it takes courage to start,but by reaching out on this forum,you have bucketloads. Also try and be kind to yourself each day I don’t have a lot of money,but I walked to the lake today and bought a coffee and enjoyed the peace and quiet you aren’t alone-I care,as we all do here x

[Guest_4643]

Hey Vvp, welcome to the forums. Good on you for joining and sharing what you're going through, I commend you. It takes a lot of courage and that was a big step, so well done to you. I'm proud of you.

I'm sorry to hear what you're dealing with. If it makes you feel any better, I am EXACTLY the same as you with everything you wrote.

I'm always here if you need someone.