Hi blondguy,
Thankyou for responding. You are most kind.
I have two distinct and separate symptoms with anxiety. This has been happening severely since 2014 but have had intermittent episodes since mid 30's but now it's a full blown issue.
I have had asthma since early twenties. I've been to casualty a few times, nothing life threatening but serious enough to show me how scary breathing impairment is. So when I'm uptight I feel like I can't breathe, and then a higher level of panic sets in because I can't tell the difference between asthma and panic....then I REALLY can't breathe and start to feel like I'm about to pass out and die..I set the phone with 000 ready to go ...UNTIL I hit the carpark of a hospital. These episodes are always whilst driving, but I have had some at home and at work. Yes, I've sat in my car for up to 2 hrs in a hospital carpark because it's ONLY there I can determine if I need casualty. I've missed days of work, all of a sudden having to do a U turn because I cant breathe.
I asked my Dr to show me how to tell the diff between asthma and panic and he said exhale difficulty. Well for me that didn't help because then I created exhale difficulty by clenching my jaw. I was taught to be aware of body tension but it doesn't work while driving. Music helps sometimes, other times being absorbed in talk back radio.
As a result of this "thing" I have kept myself located within the vicinity of a major hospital, and now have extreme difficulty leaving town. In 2014 I had many anxiety riddled trips and on one occasion couldn't go outside the 10km boundary of town. Had to turn back, twice home and once to hospital car park all in one morning. My father was in ICU, and I had to do many 400kms trips until they switched off his life support... there's a long story to that, but my father woke up in the middle of it and I ran screaming from the ICU. I wasn't there when he passed.
I wasn't afforded bereavement in a loving supportive environment. This period of non engagement in the household by me, enabled the ex to execute his malicious plan with his 2yr affair to split with our money. My suspicions and queries to strange financial acts and weird behaviour was met with hostility and eventually violence. I became homeless and our child traumatised. Everything in child's world around father became germs. Now they are everywhere even in our place. When I serve food I can't talk in case I spit or breathe on plate.
Thankyou
