Newbie!!

[Corey90]

Hey guys my names Corey, I’m 28 from Adelaide and just joined up. Don’t really know how this sort of thing really works but yea here it goes.....

I’ve always been the quiet kid in the family (very similar to my dad), just the one that sits back and observes and yea. A year and 10 months ago my dad passed away at 49 of a rare cancer. I thought after a few months I’d be fine. Almost 2 years later I’ve never felt worse. I have a supportive girlfriend, a few really close friends and a loving family but for some reason feel so so alone. I’ve always felt almost “invisible” but I’ve had dad who was very similar to bounce off of. I can’t seem to get myself out of this horrible dark hole and every day wake up so tired, stressed and even abit short and snappy (which is very odd for me) but just can’t seem to shake it. Life in general is pretty good but I just seem so down and being quite a quiet guy I seem to get unnoticed when I hint that I’m not doing too good. I’ve tried “St Johns Wort” with ok results. Just thought I’d put myself out there with people that are in a similar position that might have some tips or hints on what to do! Helppppp

thanks heaps 🖤

[Lilybell]

Hi Corey, I’m new here too. Good on you for reaching out.

I’m very sorry for the loss of your Dad, it sounds like you were close. You said you’re a quiet guy and often feel unnoticed... I’m wondering if you’ve been able to talk with your family and friends about how you feel, and whether you feel really heard if you do.

There are no rules about grieving but sometimes it can become depression so it would be worth talking to your GP and maybe getting a referral for counselling. There is also a great service called Griefline that you could also access (griefline.org.au)... I hope this is okay moderators. They have lots of information and people you can talk to.

Best wishes and take care.

[Mia001]

Hi Corey,

Welcome to the forums! I’ve found it a great supportive community here and I really hope it’s the same for you.

Good on you for being proactive with your mental health. You’ve made a great start by making your own thread. Feel free to scroll through other posts too, you can often find some great tips from others that way. You’re more than welcome to comment on any of the threads.

A quick intro... I’m a 17 yr old girl with dealing with anxiety, depression and childhood abuse. I’ve finished school and am working towards my dream of becoming a nurse in E.D/paramedic. I’m from rural NSW.

I’m so sorry to hear about the passing of your father. It’s sounds you like you were very close, so it’s understandable that you feel this loss so much.

I’m really glad that you have a support network - your girlfriend, close friends and family. I can relate to you feeling that no one notices you trying to reach out for help. For myself, I find people are so used to my quiet serious side that they don’t notice when I try to say I’m not okay.

It sounds like you might have depression. Would you consider seeing your GP? They can prescribe meds and refer you to a psychologist/psychiatrist if necessary. I’m not sure if it’s different outside of NSW, but if money is a problem, ask if you’re eligible a Mental Health Care Plan. This gives you 10 free/discounted sessions with a psych.

I would love to hear from you if you’re comfortable talking more.

Hope this is helpful 😊

Mia

[Bethie]

Hi Corey

Wwlcome to BB. We have alot of similar stories if you search Grief with the search area top right hand side you'll be able to see all the threads and forums on it.

Hopefully that may help a bit. See your GP when you can and let them know what's happened and how long you have been feeling this way.

Life doesn't come with a instruction book ( I wish it did...) so coming here is the next best thing

[Mia001]

Hi Lilybell,

Just wanted to say hello! 😊 Its great to see new members reaching out!

Mia

[Corey90]

Hi Mia,

thank you so much, oh wow a nurse in paramedic/ED would be such a rewarding job! I don’t know if I’d be able to do that! I think you have to be a pretty tough person to do that 💪🏽

Thank you again for your reply,

Being the male in the house I feel expected to be the big manly, show no emotions kind of person when the fact is I’m not that person! I’ve always been the quiet, shy person at home, school work and friendships groups but it’s got to the point where I’ve started to feel left out, ignored, invisible.

I don’t know how to get past and don’t want to seem like that “cocky annoying over confident guy”

its just making me feel pretty pathetic and like I have no meaning/purpose in our group or family.

I haven’t had a chat to a GP yet, I thought I’d give this a try first. Money isn’t a problem, I can afford going it’s just actually making myself go which will prove to be the hard bit!!

Thanks so much again for your reply and support Mia, Means a lot!!!

Thanks again, Corey

[Patsy_Ann]

Hi, not sure how the site works, feeling anxious about writing a post or how to start expressing myself to strangers.

[Croix]

Dear Patsy Ann (with a wave to Corey and everyone)~

You are very welcome here in the Forum. Making your first couple of posts can seem a most difficult thing to do, but it gets easier as you find out the people are friendly and want to smooth your path.

I guess the best way is for people who have similar circumstances to talk with you, there are certainly plenty here with all sorts of experiences so that should not be a problem. In order for them to find you normally you make your very own thread. It's not hard. You go to the area of the Forum you think appropriate (eg Depression, Anxiety and so on) and hit the NEW THREAD button.

We will not be strangers for long. Cory started his own thread here only a couple of days ago and already has several people talking with him.

As for expressing yourself, there is no hurry, and you just say what you are comfortable with at the time.

We'll be looking out for you

Croix

[Patsy_Ann]

Thank you.

[Mia001]

Hi Corey,

Great to hear from you! 😊

I’ve grown up in a family with a Dad who is just what you said - the tough guy who never shows emotion because that’s means you’re weak. But I’m not so sure. I think that it takes more strength to be caring and show your vulnerabilities. After all, emotions are just a normal part of being human. That’s my opinion anyway. 😊

You’re not pathetic. Remember that your worth is based on who you are as a person. And to me, you sound like an intelligent and sensitive individual. You’re just looking for a way to improve your social skills and self confidence.

I think the best way to start is by taking small steps. Things aren’t going to change overnight, but if you’re prepared to put in the hard work, you’ll see yourself making progress.

Confidence attracts people. You don’t have to be funny, smart or talk a lot. You just have to be comfortable being you, and be able to have a conversation with someone.

Maybe choosing an environment that you feel relaxed in would help. I know personally, I’m more comfortable having a couple of friends around for a chat than going to a party.

If you have trouble getting yourself to see a GP, is there anyone you can ask to book the appointment and maybe go with you? Having someone “check in” and encourage you might help.

See you later,

Mia