Newbie: lost, unemployed, pregnant, desperate

[Hidden_supernova]

Let me introduce myself as Wookie, as my husband affectionately calls me.

I have suffered from depression and anxiety for much of my life (now 29 years old). I have sought help a few times, sometimes it helped, sometimes it didn't. I am fortunate to have a supportive husband, he also suffers from depression and anxiety much worse than me.

My situation is this:

I was working in a job that I loved, as a team leader in customer service. It was certainly not my calling, but I stumbled into it and really took to it, although being assertive was a huge struggle. It really helped me to overcome aspects of my depression/anxiety, but then one day I was made redundant. Now I knew this was coming, but I'm only feeling the full effects of it now.

See, 2 days after my redundancy, I discovered I was pregnant. We were very happy of course, but there was a part of us that suddenly realised I needed to find work fast. It's been almost 2 months, and I have not yet found a job. I've applied for so many that I've lost count. My old work offered careers counselling which I jumped on, but I've lost motivation to engage with it now, which I know doesn't help me at all. I signed myself up with a recruiter to help me find suitable work, but they have been anything but helpful. The recruiter told me I shouldn't try for another team leading job because she felt my confidence was not up to scratch - that really made my heart sink. Here I was at my old job thinking I could conquer the world and in an instant one woman had obliterated that dream. I've lost motivation for everything. My husband is finding it hard watching me slip into this dark pit, and at the same time he is struggling to cope with day-to-day life as he hates his job and gets no recognition, so I'm having to stay strong just to keep him from slipping too.

I tried to get some sort of welfare assistance, but my husband earns 'way over' the threshold for me to receive any sort of payment - he is on a low wage and on his income alone doesn't earn enough to cover our rent and other living costs.

I just want to work, I'm desperate, but I can't get a look in. People say they'll get back to you and don't, which just makes me momentarily hopeful, then disappointed. Or they send the generic rejection email, or give no response at all. Am I really that useless?

I'm a person that just wants to feel like I can contribute something, no matter how small. And the sooner the better; no one will hire a pregnant gal.

Thanks.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Hidden supernova,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for posting. I'm sorry that this is happened; being made redundant and then finding out that you're pregnant sounds like it's been a struggle.

What I'm more sorry for however is how the recruiter treated you; telling you that you shouldn't apply for a job because of your confidence?! This makes me frustrated. A good recruiter is there to support you; recognise the skills that you already have and build on the ones that might be lacking. You've already worked as a team leader in customer service. This alone shows me that you have so many soft skills like communication, leadership, problem solving and decision making.

You are far from useless. I know rejection can be hard but it is not an attack on you or your self-worth.

I do encourage you to keep persisting though;-

Some things you could try

- When you get a rejection letter, ask for feedback. I have done this a number of times and can find it helpful. Is your resume eye-catching? Are your cover letters matching their job descriptions; can you emphasise your skills enough to show that you'd be a good fit? Often little subtle changes can make a big difference in the impact your Resume and letter has.

- Broaden your scope of work; there are a few positions that are work-from-home or it might be worth looking into a different field.

- Try again with the career's counselling.

- Network network. LinkedIn and social media can be a good way to build connections and wiggle your way into a business.

- Find the balance. Work is important but isn't your identity. Surrounding yourself with people who care about you and finding and making room for your new baby can be an exciting and rewarding time.

As someone with experience in HR; I can tell you now that you are not useless. Bouncing back from a redundancy and being pregnant? That's resilience right there. You can do this.