Newbie looking for some light at the end of this horrible tunnel....

[Hol-j]

Hi All. I am completely new to this and have never participated in a forum before. I have struggled with depression on and off for about 15 years and am nearly a year into a breakdown with a major depressive disorder. I am doing all the things with doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists but as the one year approaches and I am still unable to go back to work as a high school teacher, I am struggling to come to terms with the fact it has been going on for so long and hoping that reaching out online might help me to move forward. I just can't see any light at the end of the tunnel right now 😞

[H2Ohog]

Hi! I'm new to forums and don't post much but I do read lots and I can relate to your post so much. Over the years I've always managed to 'bounce back' but I'm just coming out of the longest, deepest episode of depression I've experienced. It's 12 months or more and I still feel I have a long way to go. I guess it's about time & patience as hard as that sounds! My daughter gave me a 'Gratitude ' diary and I try to find things to be grateful for each day - it helps balance the negative thoughts & guilt of my condition. Keep reading, searching & trying new ways to feel better.

I hope you post again & find some of these responses helpful. I know I have!

😊 Maree

[Hol-j]

Thanks for your responses. It really is helpful to know there are others in this for the long haul too. I guess when I look back, I have come forward in the last year though I honestly thought I would be coping so much better by now. I want so desperately to live my life again, it's hard to stay patient. I am actually jealous of my friends who have to go to work! I have taken this week off from volunteering again because I just feel so so heavy and even the simplest tasks are overwhelming. I'm struggling to keep my mind positive and in the present as it keeps returning to dark thoughts whenever I let my guard down. I find this ridiculous though as I have so much going for me and so much that I am grateful for. God has blessed me beyond measure with the people I am surrounded by...so I can't fathom why do I just want to leave it all... Mental illness sucks!