Newbie, but not new to the Black dog and other issues.

[BE51]

Hi everyone,

I don't even know where to start. I have been very busy reading advice on other people's story's, which have been helpful and interesting at times.

I don't know a time where I haven't had anxiety or depression maybe even a bit of PTSD thrown in at times. I have grown to live with it for so long it feels normal.(I know it shouldn't)

For the last year, maybe two I have tried to get help, my anxiety limiting me to getting to the doctors and the overwhelming sense once in there, to get out. That's been the first hurdle.

I think I have had 3 mental health questionnaires filled out ready to take to see someone, but just couldn't get to that point.

It's really hard, I always feel like there is so much judgment from the dr and I wish there was a way that didn't involve having to see someone to get paper work to then go see someone else, that to me is hard enough.

I'm still trying but things are becoming really hard. I now have extremely bad chest pains ( which I have seen a dr about) due to how anxious I get. I feel like my body is failing me. Problems with inlaws now making matters worse for my anxiety. I feel like there is never a break and no one knows how crippling this is for me.

I absolutely hate living with this and all the thoughts thst come with it all. I have tried really hard to write a lot of my thoughts down, to help with the process of getting them out of my head and moving forward. My mind just never seems to rest. It's constantly in this fight or flight state, which zi know is terrible for you.

I read a lot about the problem I have. I even went as far as submitting DNA to help with research towards genetic testing for depression and anxiety to see if it's passed down from family members.

The Australian Genetics of Depression Study aims to identify the genetic risk factors associated with clinical depression, and how a person’s genes influence their risk of developing depression and their response to treatment

I felt really good about doing this as for me I feel like I keep making small steps.

Sorry if my post is all over the place, thanks for reading.

[Croix]

Dear BE51~

I've read elsewhere your difficulties in getting other's to understand how you are, and sympathize. In some ways anxiety can be a catch-22 situation, you need professional help, but the condition makes it too hard to get.

You are not alone, even with the chest pains, I was admitted to hospital with them 3 months ago, they turned out just to be anxiety and nothing else. Luckily for me there was no judgment, they just had a worry if I had a physical ailment in the future I might ignore it thinking it was all anxiety.

Your work submitting DNA is no doubt helpful to society as a whole but I'm not sure how much nearer it gets you to the treatment you need.

I do say "need". I'm not a doctor but found at least in my own case things never improved at all until I had competent medical help.

I can well understand the feelings in a consultation, the urge to minimize, gloss over things and escape can be nearly overwhelming.

I found that if I took a couple of days or more to write down how I felt, my thoughts, the effects on my life, the effects on my body, then I had a chance to give a clear comprehensive picture. I could go back and re-write sections to my satisfaction. Handing a copy over in a consultation is a lot easier than explaining from scratch. I found I simply had to answer questions. The doctor was happy too to have such a clear account.

The other advantage - which applies to me anyway - is once the paper is handed over it is too late to chicken out.

Do you think something along these lines might be doable?

Croix

[Skary Bill]

Hi BE51, It's the worst catch 22.. You decide you want to get help for Anxiety, but you need to overcome the Anxiety to go and get it.

I just wanted to share that I can totally relate to that situation, as well as the chest pain. I did go and get a bunch of tests done, and it would appear that my heart is healthy. So I still get the pain, but at least I don't worry about it being something other than anxiety.

Personally, when I have pushed myself to get out there and take some action, it's been worth it. Sure it knocks me around a bit, but on balance there is that sense of achievement to be had. I can't say I love the way they have made GP's the gate keepers for further care. But it's just one more step forward. And you're worth it.

I kinda like Croix's idea about writing things down. I've just moved and I have to break in a new GP, so I think I might try that. 🙂 Wishing you all the best. Cheers,

Bill.

[geoff]

Hi BE51, thanks for posting your comment.

I sympathise for you because I know it's not easy going to the doctors and telling them our dark secrets but well done for writing down and posting this comment, I appreciate that it might have been difficult.

As you say, your in laws are causing a lot of these anxiety problems so that's the first hurdle to overcome if possible, so if you could tell us about this situation then we maybe able to help you.

I tend to agree with Croix that the DNA might prove that your anxiety, depression and possibly PTSD is handed down from past generations but that's not necessarily going to help you overcome this.

The doctor is there to help you and if you would prefer to see someone who deals with MI then click on 'Get Support' and scroll down until you see 'Find a professional', these are doctors aligned with BB and specialise in MI.

You don't have to worry about the doctor, it's only a 10 min conversation whereas you have had to cope with this for years, that's why you need to look after yourself.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[BE51]

Hi Croix,

Thank you for your response.

I have done exactly what you have said. I have written down for myself and the Dr what problems I was having making it easier to not go blank under the pressure, the list is getting long.

With the DNA test it was purely done with the understanding that I won't know MY results, but was just happy to contribute to something that definitely needs more attention, as I do believe genetics play a big role in this. That's just my opinion.

thank you for your concerns and advice, hopefully I can there.

[Croix]

Dear BE51

Well, if you have a document you are more than half way there, and it is now a question of delivery. I have found in the past that my resolve over things has wavered from day to day, even hour to hour.

That being the case I once posted a document so I was committed. I'm not suggesting you do the same, just trying to point out that wavering had an up time as well as a down, and that is when action and commitment is easiest.

Not easy, but possible?

Croix

[JRG]

Hi BE51,

I am so glad to hear that you have decided to go ahead with a GP appointment when you can. It really sounds like you will benefit from this - there are so many services available to assist once you have a personal care plan and personally I have found this to make such a positive impact to my overall management of symptoms long-term.

Above there are a lot of helpful suggestions which hopefully with assist. While you are waiting for your appointment you could also consider a couple of other supports. Hopefully the forum directly related to anxiety might be of some help to you if you'd like to talk to others who are travelling similar difficulties. I also wanted to mention that there are quite a few helpful apps available that may be of help. One of the ones I like is free and called 'What's Up'. On this, there is a feature where you can keep a diary of how bad you are feeling each day. This may come in really handy when you see your doctor to help him/her and you assess the severity of your symptoms and develop a more detailed acute management plan to help you asap.

Best of luck with the appointment.

JRG.