New to depression and anxiety

[craftymum4]

Hi All

I'm a stay at home mother of 2 kids. I have a 1 year old and a almost 6 year old.

I have never experienced depression and anxiety until March this year (2020).

Its been almost 3 months since I started anti depressants. I'm on a second type now 5th week in and I was going well but I'm now starting to feel the depression more than anything. I want to know that it gets better. It's hard to get by and im finding it a struggle to get through the day without bawling my eyes out. I have this deep pain in my chest and no matter what I do it doesn't seem to go away :(

I love my children and husband so much and hate them seeing me this way.

My question is are there any other mums out there that struggle with anxiety and depression that suffer from pcos aswell? I have pcos and find my hormones all over the place. I need to find something that helps me get through the day happily.

[jess334]

Hi CraftyMum,

Welcome to the forums.

I'm glad you are recieving treatment for your depression. Sometimes finding the right medication can take some time.

I started back on antidepressants almost 13 months ago. My doctor wants me to try coming off them, but I' too scared that I'll crash again.

I understand how hard it is with kids. You want to hide it from them, but sometimes that's impossible. My psychologist says that its important that we show kids how to deal with mental health issues and also show them that these struggles are normal.

I don't have POCS, but it must be a huge struggle trying to manage your depression plus hormones.

I can tell you that it does get better. You will smile again and laugh with your kids. I wish I there was a way to accelerate it.

I hope posting and chatting to people here helps lift your load a little.

Kind thoughts, Jess

[craftymum4]

Thanks jess334.

My gorgeous eldest girl is so loving. If im in a bit of a state with crying she comes up to me hugs me and says "it will be OK mum, I love you so much".

Im a terrible one for guilt. Feeling guilty because im not my usual happy self for my kids. Guilt for asking my parents help take care of my youngest while I rest on days I feel down. Guilt for adding more stress to my husband who works incredibly hard. Im my own worst enemy some days.

I look forward to the day where I feel like my usual self again and enjoy spending lazy days with my kids doing not much and not have to worry about my thoughts.

You give me hope jess334 thank you x

[smallwolf]

hi and welcome to beyond blue.

firstly, I am not a mum, but I can identify with part of what you said when describing your medications (I think).

I went through a few different medications before settling on the one I am using now. When I started and as changes were made, my psychiatrist asked me how the medication was going and whether I thought it was working. Please keep in mind that I was looking for something that tackled both depression and anxiety. As far as anxiety was concerned I noticed the physical symptoms more - the racing heart, tight chest, etc. Anyway, when I was on my prev. medication, while it helped with depression, it did little for the physical symptoms I experienced. The next one medication I was on worked really well with physical symptoms.

With that said... it could take me 6 weeks to begin to see changes.

Still keep the notes, and I guess what I am saying is to keep notes of the feelings, thoughts, symptoms etc so that if/when you speak next with your GP or psychiatrist you can tell them how you feel.

There are plenty of other things that can be done and there are threads on grounding and mindfulness on the forums here. I hope some "mums" might find your story and reply as well.

Tim

[craftymum4]

Thanks Smallwolf (Tim). I purchased a journal the other day to exactly that. Im finding im now feeling dizzy spells every now and then, even when I'm just laying in bed with my eyes closed. Almost like the world is spinning.

I have another appointment today with my gp as his been advised by a psychiatrist to put me on another tablet on top of the one im already on.

Hopefully I should see some change soon. Its almost been 6 weeks since starting the tablet.