New to BB...first step to recovery i hope

[clovia]

Hi all,

First time here. I live a very hectic life. I help people with disabilities and injuries enter back into the workforce. its a wonderfull and very fulfilling job. I am a wife of a very loving husband who is on the road to recovery after an accident three years ago and surgery last year. I am a mother to a wonderful fur baby.

With all this wonderfulness I am still struggling. I have depression and am angry a lot of the time. I lost my father to Cancer at the beginning of the year and I don't think I am helping my mum and sister much with their new lifes without him. I try to help my husband with his pain and recovery and we have been told by his dr that this could be another 12 months out of work for him..that will make it 4 years now unemployed for him.

Some days are harder than the others and the stress of the job doesn't help.

Im hoping that I will be able to find the right support and tips/tools here

hoping everyone has a fantastic sparkly day as its a bit gloomy outside and in today at my desk

Clo 🙂

[geoff]

dear Clo, it's a pleasure to talk with you.
The work you do must be not only fullfilling, rewarding but difficult at times, and at the moment you're struggling which I so sorry for, and as much as you want to help your mum and sister, you have way too much on your own plate to cope with, as it would be hard to help your husband, work, look after your baby as well as try and look after your mum/sister as well as cleaning cooking and every else that is needed, and that's why you have become annoyed and I would think frustrated.
Not only all of this I'm sure that your husband would also feel as though he's not doing enough to help you, but by being incapacitated with at least another year to go would make the situation even worse, so wow there's so much you are trying to cope with.
A couple of issues here, firstly you need to see your doctor, and I guess that's what we always say to people, but honestly that's the truth and secondly you need to try and take a step back from helping your mum and sister, because at the moment none of what you say to them could be any benefit for them to get over this sad ocassion.
You can't look after all those patients, look after your husband, look after your baby, look after your mum and sister, and forget about yourself, it won't work, and that's what's happening, you're falling into a heap, so any help won't register with any of them, so that's why you need to take the time for yourself to get better.
Your husband maybe able to do light duties to help you and your mum and sister will also get the help they need, leaving you alone, temporarily, so that any help either with medication or not, counselling and just some time off for yourself just to regain your strength.
Would love to hear back from you. Geoff. x

[Starwolf]

Hi Clovia and welcome on board.

I totally agree with Geoff, long-term hectic lifestyle and resulting pressure leads to inevitable burn out. Been there, done that...the signs are unmistakable.

Giving too much of ourselves makes us unbalanced. We lose track of ourselves and understandably end up feeling resentful for this loss of identity. Our own needs are ignored, put on the back burner indefinitely. We lose our motivation. Physical, mental, emotional exhaustion sets in.

So yes, there's only one way to go before the situation escalates. Time to take one or two steps back, delegate as much as you can, lighten your load and take good care of yourself. You need to give yourself a well deserved break. Superwoman may be attractive but she's also unrealistic, a fantasy.

You have already made a brave decision by joining these forums. Navigating them will show that your situation is unfortunately not uncommon. With a self care plan and support, it is also manageable.

My thoughts are with you.