New member struggling big time

[Anxious_Kim]

Hello

I have been suffering with anxiety for many years and for the most part have been able to keep it under control but recently it's come back with a vengeance and I can't sleep, eat or function without feeling dread and crying. My father passed away in October leaving my mother to cope on her own which she is not able to do so I am looking after all her finances and trying, with the help of my brother, to get her the proper in home care she needs as she wants to go home (she has been staying with my brother since my dads funeral). Then I had a holiday hoping to recharge my batteries only to get a phone message that 2 of my dogs had escaped my property (which is being minded by a friend) and killed a neighbors cat) ended up it wasn't my dogs but I was in another state so was terrified my whole holiday that the police or rangers would take my dogs away. Then I get back and our slab for our new house was laid, which you think would be a great thing, but you see, I live on acreage with no direct neighbors now I have to move into a place with neighbors and I have dogs that have never lived in suburbia before and I'm stressing that there may be issues with barking or council. We have to move as our current land has been compulsory acquired. all this has happened at once and it has overwhelmed me to the point that I feel like I'm going to explode, I just want to curl up and not see anyone or do anything, but I have a full time job and have animals and a husband that needs me. I'm also worried about worrying him as I've had a breakdown once before and I don't want that to happen again. I am on some meds but my Dr is working out the dosage. I've seen a psych before and it didn't do any good really. I know that most of you would have been through much worse so I apologise if I seem weak. I just want to feel normal again, happy. Please help

[james1]

Hi Kim,

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling very overwhelmed by everything. You do not seem weak at all. That is a lot to have to deal with and I'm so sorry to hear about your father.

It sounds like you are doing the right thing by going back to the doctor to check out the dosage and by speaking to us here. You also mentioned a psychologist, What did you find unhelpful about it the first time around?

Different psychologists and counsellors often have different methods and some agree with us, others are not so helpful. So it can take a few goes before we find the right person for us.

I hope you can keep talking to us here. There's a lot happening in your life at the moment and I'm worried that, because you're concerned about how these feelings will affect your husband, you may not feel like you have anyone you can tell everything to.

James

[Mathy]

Hi Kim and welcome to BB 🙂

Well that’s a lot going on, and it’s great that you’ve seen the GP and got some Meds to get the anxiety on the road to being quietened down.

You’ve got a lot on your plate, I’m assuming that you’re trying to get your Mum an age care package? I’ve heard that some of that stuff is taking a long while to sort out, so patience needed from you, and your brother - it takes time, I know she may be fretting - perhaps your brother can take the lead on keeping her calm?

So sad that you have to move because your land has been acquired, that’s just plain difficult and upsetting, no way of sugar coating that, it is what it is 😞

If you’re concerned about moving your dogs to a more urban environment, then it may be a good idea to have a chat to your current vet about how to manage this. I will make a suggestion that you possibly might not like, but given the current stresses in your life, bear with me and think about this. I know a couple of dogs that are on antidepressants (yep! They prescribe it for anxious dogs) - it works a treat, dog is chilled out and not stressed = no problems with barking, running away etc. I am only suggesting this as a temporary means of making the move whilst you’re in such a state of stress yourself - please do consider this as an option to help not only you, but your loved pets.

You’re right, you have a lot of unwanted change happen in a short period of time, and I can see how they’ve mounted up into a mountain. I sense that your dogs and your Mum are the major concern? So speak to your Vet and ask for help there. Maybe ask your brother if he can do the heavy lifting regarding your Mum’s care package, whilst you look after her finances.

Next - breath. No, I’m not kidding, your post reads like someone who’s going 100mph 🙂 If a Psych doesn’t work for you, then try something like the “Smiling Mind” app - for iPhone or Android - a lot of guided meditation and things to calm anxiety available there, and it’s free.

Lastly, you can always post here on your thread, and someone will chat with you.

All my very best to you, please post back, cheers M 🙂

[geoff]

hello Kim, I know the fear of moving back next to neighbours, it took me a few weeks to readjust, I'd rather have peace and quiet, but circumstances won't allow this to happen.
My condolences for the passing of your dad, it's never a nice feeling when this happens, especially when you are very close to him and rely on his advise, I'm truly sorry.
Can you please tell me about your current land which has no been compulsory acquired, is this where the slab has been laid.
You are NOT weak, you've been through this once before and know what it can do to you, and you are probably pretending to your husband that you are OK, but you know it becomes exhausting trying to put on a brave face, when you feel absolutely terrible, you know you can always vent here on this site.
Please get back to your doctor about the dosage or perhaps changing the med's, but this is only half the reason to overcome your depression, you need to be able to talk to a psychologist who you can relate to, someone that you trust, and someone you can say whatever is troubling you, because if this doesn't happen then your depression will keep you feeling as though you are talking with the black dog. Geoff.

[blondguy]

Hello Kim

My sincere condolences for the recent passing of your dad.

James and Geoff have great advice above with their own life experiences. I also understand your situation as this is my 34th year with anxiety/depression and its an awful place to be in for sure

It took me 13 years of chronic anxiety to figure out that super regular counseling really worked. I saw a mental health worker from my local council and he was free. He said he could treat me as long as I agreed to see him every week for a minimum of six months.

I was very much like you are now with a lot going on and had way too much on my plate which kept triggering some serious anxiety. The counseling worked a treat and he really took the weight off my shoulders and showed me how to 'slow' my tired brain down.

I still take a low dose antidepressant for the last 22 years and see my GP every month for a 'fine tune'

Your health is paramount and I hope you can find a counselor that you are happy with. It takes a ton of determination and patience but the counseling will bring you peace Kim 🙂

If you are up to it, I hope you can stick around the forums

My kind thoughts for you

Paul