Hi all, my name's Amy.
I'm not very good at this kind of thing, but I felt I needed a space to talk and reach out for support.
I recently got a job after 5 years on Centrelink searching desperately for something. I've been here for about 6 months but lately I've been feeling low. We're only a small business, and recently my superviser left, thrusting me into a role I didn't feel ready for. Unfortuntely, there isn't anyone to take over this position. So I've felt stressed about it. I'm lucky my boss and his wife are super supportive of me, but I can't get it out my head that I'm not good enough and keep beating myself up over things. I've made some huge mistakes and that hasn't helped me at all.
I've had anxiety for a long time and had severe depression in the past to the point I hated being alive (I can't help but wonder if I'm depressed now with how I'm feeling), but with every passing day I've come to feel worse than every before and I just don't want to go back t feeling that way again. I've been on medication but nothing really helped. I've also seen several psychologists about it but I still feel I'm not getting anywhere.
I'm feel lost. I don't really know what to do. I don't want to leave work, I love those I work with. The very first time i was invited out I cried (happy tears) on my way hone because I never thought I'd ever drink and spend time with those I work with. But at the same time I'm finding it so hard to function. I don't like thinking that "its only 1 more week" or "only 1 more day", but that's how I've been feeling. I just don't know what to do. I don't know who to reach out to at the moment, because I don't feel like my doctor is really able to understand and I get anxious thinking about seeing someone else.
Anyways, I don't know what to do so some advice would be welcomed.
Thanks,
Amy
