New here

[Phoenix99]

Hi

i am new to the forums. I have had depression for 8 years and still struggling everyday. 

[Happylife]

Hello Phoenix99,

Warm welcome to the forums. I am really sorry to hear you are struggling with depression. 

It can be very draining and exhausting but you're not alone and you have come to the right place.

If I may ask, 8 years is a long time, do you have family/friends/support groups whom you have reached out to? Have you spoken to your GP or mental health professional for guidance and support?

If you feel like sharing more, are you able to provide more information about what exactly you are going through so we can help and advise you better but there is no pressure. 

Below is the link from BB if you want to read more about depression and how it can help you:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/depression/signs-and-symptoms

I am here to help if you need assistance with navigating the forums...

Take care

Happylife

[Phoenix99]

 Hi Happylife

i have no idea what is causing the depression. I can’t find anything in life interesting all day everyday for 8 years. I might as well just lie around all day doing nothing. Like an animal. I am bored of life. No matter what I do I can’t be engaged with anything. I am sick of it. I don’t have anyone to talk to. I have spoken to the GP and psychiatrist and psychologist and a social worker and a counsellor. No one seems to know what to do. I am becoming more frustrated everyday that nothing gets better. I want to care about something. Just one thing. 

[lacy]

hi phoenix ive been strugeling with anxiaty its hard but im getting thrugh it wanna talk

bye lacy

[Phoenix99]

hi lacy 

sure I am here if you need. 
phoenix 

[lacy]

thanks

lets get to know each other

[therising]

Hi Phoenix99

I feel for you so much, I really do. Eight years is a long time to be feeling this way. From my own experience, I've found there's a significant difference between long term depression and episodic depression. While I'm a gal who left long term depression behind me in my mid 30s (close to a couple of decades ago), since then it's been about periods of depression. With the latter, the breaks provide the opportunity to make sense of what each depression is about. The breaks make a difference in a whole variety of ways. One of my fears in life involves returning to long term depression for whatever reason because it can be so incredibly challenging and upsetting in so many ways. As I say, I feel for you so much.

I have to say, if there's one thing depression's led me to become in life it's a detective of sorts. Whether it involves elements of psychology or psychiatry, biology or chemistry or natural soulful kinds of stuff, the rabbit whole of greater self understanding is massive, absolutely massive (with so many intersecting points). Such investigation and exploration's partly come about out of desperation and partly out of fascination. I can never settle for not knowing why I'm depressed. I have to know. I feel for you with none of your detectives (GP, psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker and a counsellor) having any significant keys.

While I've found the list of reasons for depression to be extensive, I've also found some people who specialise in certain fields to have a bit of a one track mind (not all). It's not a criticism, just an observation. Not all the reasons or answers can be found on one track or along one specific channel down that rabbit hole. For example, if I was to go to a physician and say 'I have intermittent uncontrollable buzzing happening throughout my body', they may consider sending me to a neurologist who might put me on medication. If I was to go to a mental health specialist, they may prescribe anti anxiety meds to calm things down. If I was to talk to a practitioner and master of martial arts, they may say 'That is you feeling your chi (life force/energy), I'll show you how to understand it, manage it and master it so that you can choose when you want to or don't want to feel the buzz or humm of life running through you'. Three completely different takes on what that feeling is but all may agree 'You are feeling your nervous system'.

[Phoenix99]

Hi therising

thank you for your reply. 

i am getting impatient about not having any answers. I feel I am at risk of suicide if I don’t get any answers soon. I don’t have anything to live for. I don’t find any joy in anything. I literally can’t feel anything no matter what I do 😞 I don’t have anyone other than my therapist to talk to. So I just have to wait until session to have a chance to talk. It is horrible not having any answers. I have no idea why I can’t enjoy anything for 8 years. And with not even one day of relief! I wish I had just episodes and it wasn’t chronic. I don’t have any hope because I don’t remember the last time I felt anything positive. How can I have hope if I just don’t remember what I was like before. It has been too long. 

[Happylife]

Hi Phoenix99,

Thanks for opening up, I really feel for you. Depression is an ugly thing, it deprives you of the ability to feel your emotions. When you are feeling down it can be very tough to focus on anything.

The key to finding solution is probably to find out where exactly the problem is coming from in the first place. 

Is there anything that makes you happy? Even simple activities like taking a walk on the beach or reading your favourite book can do wonders. Also, you can try getting out of your routine, sometimes doing the same things day in and day out can get boring and drain you out.

You mentioned about caring for something, have you tried Volunteering at your local community, library or anything that interests you? It is one of the things that really helps me when I feel anxious or depressed.

It's a wonderful way to give back to your community and make a positive impact for yourself and others. Whether you want to help people, animals or the environment, there's lots of opportunities. It also gives you an opportunity to think about something or someone else and in return it gives you a sense of purpose and accomplishment.

You can try the below link or google any other volunteering websites that you may like:

https://www.volunteeringaustralia.org/#/ Home - Volunteering Australia

I really hope you feel better. Keep sharing if you feel like, happy to listen and help...

Take care

Happylife

[Phoenix99]

Hey Happylife

i would like to volunteer to help animals. I have always liked animals. That is the only thing that has stuck with me. Maybe because I also feel like an animal at this point. I will keep looking for opportunities to volunteer. Thanks for your help.