New here...feeling alone & not handling life well

[Libski21]

Hello,

after a very embarrassing drunk night yesterday, I’m questioning (more than usual) how poorly I’m dealing with my emotions.

I’ve been diagnosed with depression previously (a few years back) and thought I had it under control but lately it feels like I’m not even close to being ok. I’m dealing with a lot of stress at work, with my father’s dementia (and the guilt that I can’t help with that), a couple of health issues (a brain cyst that needs surgery amongst other things) and it’s overwhelming.

I feel that all my friends are moving ahead with happy relationships and I’m alone and stalled.

I’m scared by how I’m drinking and can’t seem to control it. I’ve got friends I can talk with but I feel that I’m being a downer and don’t have the words to explain what I’m feeling.

thanks for ‘listening’

[Bethie]

Oh I'm so sorry. I remember being in a very similar position 17 years ago. The drink stoped everything for a while, then reality hits like a wrecking ball. Please be kind to yourself. Your a good person coping the best way at any given time you can. Meds and drinking are a really bad mix so please be careful. Your not alone in this journey. People before you have made it through. I can't promise you miracles but I can tell you from experience that the days may seem long but the sun can shine

[Croix]

Dear Libski21~

Welcome. From your post it looks like you know what is happening - a surprising number of people don't . You are using the drink to drown out all those things in your life that you can't bear and you know it is not the answer.

Life has given you a pretty hard serve, work stress, a parent with dementia and your own health issues with a brain cyst - scary.

Work stress by itself can be pretty devastating, I was invalided out due to stress, ending up with PTSD, anxiety and bouts of depression. Seeing a parent with dementia is particularly hard. The person you loved and looked on as a stable area in your life, someone to rely upon, all now changed.

That plus a history of depression. No wonder coping is next to impossible. Do you mind if I ask if you are currently being treated for depression or some related illness? If you are then I guess a couple of things.

First if you are on meds then, as Bethie said, alcohol can really muck things up and can cause the the opposite effect of that is intended.

Second of course for you to feel this way the regime is not working and needs to be adjusted (Something quite usual as life circumstances change).

Of course if you are not under treatment there would never be a better time to go to your GP and have a long consultation. Don't try to minimize how you feel, or the drink. No use not being treated for the right things. If you think you will get confused or simply not tell all write it down first and share the paper - I found this helped, as did my doctor too.

Trying to stop drinking to excess is very difficult and I'd suggest as well as medical help you think about a support group.

Do you have anything mapped out with the cyst? Are you thinking of an operation?

Talking to someone in your life - as opposed to a doctor - can be very helpful indeed. In your situation you may well feel your are a downer - which is exactly when you need to talk. Really there are two sorts of people to talk to. Those that care regardless, and if you have one of those to share the burden it is wonderful. The other is someone who has been there too. Then you don't really need the words, understanding is there almost from the start.

You can 'talk' here as often as you'd like you know. We care and do understand

Croix